A Forced Fate
by Insomniac247
Summary: A SasukeSakura pairing. After a long absence from Konoha, Sasuke finds Sakura in mortal danger. Feelings awaken, but with so many things standing in the way can the two possibly be together?
1. Understanding Sasuke

Disclaimer: Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

As a courtesy, I'm reminding readers that this story is rated M (NC 17). This story _will_ contain mature content. Chapters may contain blood, violence, swearing, intimate situations… but then that is to be expected with this rating, right? Anyway. You've been sufficiently been warned.

**Terms**-I use the word otouto (Japanese for younger brother), and aniki and sometimes niisan (both are Japanese for older, or oldest brother), as I think they have an endearing sound to them personalizing the brotherly relationship more than saying just brother. 

Chapter One: Understanding Sasuke-"I Wish I Could Stay, But I Have To Go."

He was attacked by four ninja from the hidden village of sound. They had only been toying with him, and he was easily defeated. It was the reminder of how weak and pathetic he was. None of the four missed an opportunity to remind him of his weakness as they threw him into walls and trees. Hung him upside down like some sort of rag doll. They taunted and teased as if he wasn't of the great Uchiha clan, but a dead last dropout. And the fact that they tossed him around so easily did nothing to prove their words wrong. As if to pour salt into his wounds they reminded him of his life's purpose to kill his brother Itachi, and his failure to do so.

Their words were well aimed. Dredging up memories of a time not so long ago when Sasuke came face to face with his older brother. He'd used all his experience and training to attack his brother and was easily countered and avoided. His brother left him with many physical injuries as well as mental trauma. He was defeated as easily as a bug was squashed. It was an extremely humiliating encounter. His brother tossed him about with ease, held him against the wall by his neck and called him weak. He'd felt like such a failure. He was helpless against his brother's attacks, and he wasn't happy to be reminded of that. He curled his lip in frustrated anger. "Fuck the sounds, fuck Itachi, and fuck this village." He spat.

Bracing his back against the wall he was so unceremoniously thrown against a few minutes ago, he stood, pressing his palms against the wall, walking his hands up to help support his sore, beaten body. He needed to get home. Wincing, he jumped to a large tree branch and landed with a soft thump. He pursed his lips together, tight, demanding himself not to scream. "Hmph, nnnn," he groaned out in agony. He really wanted to scream. His landing jarred his broken ribs, causing a sharp pain to pulse through his upper body. Ever so slowly he lowered himself to hands and knees, taking short sharp breaths, willing his body to forget about the pain.

Closing his eyes he saw the four ninja in his mind, replayed the fight. Unconsciously he put a hand to his broken ribs. "Tsss." He hissed, baring his teeth. 'Man do they hurt'… 'Pathetic.' He lowered his head, his hair falling and shielding his face from the harsh light of the moon. 'I'm so weak.' He felt so ashamed. The great Uchiha Sasuke, avenger of his clan, got his ass handed to him… again. And now he was on hands and knees, head bowed, feeling sorry for himself. 'Useless.' Had his training done him any good at all?

Before they left, the four sounds had told him he'd never become stronger if he stayed here in Konoha. Was that true? Sasuke took a mental tally of his missions, and frowned at the results. 'Finding lost cats, pulling weeds, picking up garbage, grocery shopping…' He frowned. His team had been on a few dangerous missions, but overall they were silly little chores. As irritating as the four sounds were, they were right. He could be so much further along if he'd been given more real missions. If he'd been born somewhere like the sound village how much stronger would he be?

He understood how missions were assigned in Konoha, and the system made sense when explained, but he couldn't afford to live in that system. If that was the way this village worked then he needed a new one, not because he hated this one, but because he needed skills they weren't ready to teach him. It was a reality Sasuke had to face no matter how much he didn't want to. He needed to kill his brother, and these menial little jobs couldn't possibly prepare him for that. His latest encounter with Itachi was proof enough of that. "Ugnn," he growled, scraping his fingers against the rough bark as he clenched his hands in fury. He was so helpless.

A sharp pain shot through his chest and stomach. His body tensed in shock and he fell to his elbows, squeezing his eyes shut. He put his head on his forearms, taking deep breaths through his nose trying to ignore the new pain.

He felt sick, as though his insides were trying to tear themselves apart. He wanted to vomit; his stomach twisted and roiled until he began heaving just shy of actually losing his stomach contents. He was thankful for the dark fall of hair that shielded his face from view, not that anyone could see him prostrate on elbows and knees high up in a tree, but it somehow allowed him the small luxury that perhaps this wasn't happening. That if he hid long enough behind that hair, or kept his eyes closed tightly enough the feelings of helplessness and hate would disappear… 'If only.'

He forced himself upright feeling like he weighted a ton. It was hard work. He'd wanted to just sink into that tree branch and stay hidden in the darkness and silence. He sighed. Such were not his luxuries, and so he slowly scuffled his way home, the sounds' taunts mentally following him the whole way.

His bedroom was dark, but Sasuke didn't care. It suited his mood. Moonlight filtered through his large window, highlighting a picture he had sitting on a large table, calling his attention to it. He cringed. It was a picture of them. The last thing he wanted right now was a reminder of them, but he made his way toward it anyway.

He was leaving them, leaving Konoha, his home since childhood. Kakashi's words echoed in his mind, 'Sasuke, forget about revenge'. 'You and I have important friends now, don't we?' Yes, they were all important to him. He studied the picture he had of the four of them. The sight of them, his friends, drained his anger and humiliation from earlier. Now he only felt resignation and sorrow. They were important enough to him that he would not hang around here and let his weaknesses hurt them.

Unbidden, visions of he and Naruto, his best friend, fighting flooded his mind. He saw himself pounding Naruto with legs and fists, burning him with giant fire attacks, skewering him with chidori. "Naruto," he whispered, touching to blond boy's face through the picture.

'Sasuke, forget about revenge.' His teacher's voice echoed through his mind again.

He loved Kakashi, he was the older brother he should have had, but this was more than just losing people important to you, this was betrayal of the worst kind. Saying that it was broken trust and murder just couldn't begin to describe Itachi's atrocity. His hero, his blood, his legendary genius brother whom he had so badly wanted to be like had taken his trust, his love, his family… everything. He had taken everything away, and shown no remorse.

Back then Itachi had looked at his younger brother's emotionally crushed teary-eyed face with cold, unfeeling, unflinching eyes. Tormented him with images of his entire family being cut down in cold blood. Called him worthless and weak, and left. That was it. And when asked why he did it the answer was simple. 'To measure my capacity.' The reason why Sasuke's world was ruined was summed up in one coldly stated simple sentence. 'To see what I was capable of.'

How could he accept that? To accept that reason would be to say 'okay, I understand'. But Sasuke didn't understand. That reason just wasn't good enough; it didn't explain enough. And Sasuke just couldn't let that go. He couldn't let any of it go, and so it slept inside him, a dark demon, awakening to different stimuli and manifesting itself in irrational anger and hate. When that devil woke every fowl thought, scrap of hate, and desire for vengeance flooded to the surface of his mind, consuming any reminders of love or good he had in his life. And he would become an evil and uncaring son of a bitch until he could force the beast back into hibernation.

Yes, his new friends, new family, were very important to him, but there was a barrier between them, one that Sasuke had put up long ago and kept reinforcing. He couldn't let anyone get close to him. He naturally pushed people away, naturally kept them at arms length. His trust in people had been broken so thoroughly that he didn't think it could ever be repaired.

He picked up the picture of he and his friends, bringing it closer to his face, studying their expressions. He gently ran his fingers over their faces, caressing them lovingly, almost in wonder. "If you could only understand." Sasuke whispered.

He wished so much he could tell Naruto and Sakura how important they were to him, but the fact was that a part of him still wanted to deny they'd snaked their way into his heart. That same part was the dark part, the one that searched for that evil deceitful seed that those closest to him possessed. Looked for the sign that would tell him their betrayal was coming.

He had nightmares of Kakashi, or Naruto, or even Sakura, the culprit changed with the nightmare, but the end result was always the same. They'd never really had feelings for him; it was only pretend to lull him into a false sense of trust to get close enough to destroy all that was dear to him. It disturbed him most when he had to watch Sakura get butchered by Naruto or Kakashi. She'd be crying out for him, and he wouldn't be able to move. Her blood would splatter across his face, cover the walls & floor, and her eyes would meet his before she'd breath her last breath asking why he didn't save her. Accusing eyes… "Sakura," He closed his eyes and pictured her sweet ever-smiling face.

He wanted Sakura; he wanted to love her like she did him, but he just couldn't let go of the past. He couldn't forget. He wanted to, he really did, but if he let them any further into his heart it would hurt worse when they were taken away. Not if, when. In his mind at least one of them would betray him, even though his heart told him they cared for him. His heart had been wrong before. "Damn you Itachi." He hissed in a low deadly whisper.

He hated so much that he let his brother's betrayal turn him into the seemingly unfeeling monster his friends saw. Of course when his rage broke out he was a heartless bastard. But then they seemed to understand him a bit. They must realize he cared for them on some level… in his own way, or they wouldn't accept him as much as they did. Especially Sakura. If she couldn't see deep inside him to his heart, then he couldn't understand why she still chased him like a lovesick puppy. Unless… she was pretending, just trying to get close. He shook his head. 'No that wasn't possible, not Sakura… right'?

Maybe he wasn't giving them enough credit. Perhaps they didn't need the fluffy words and hugs to realize they were important to him. After all hadn't he said as much when he and Naruto were facing off against Gaara? He'd called them important friends.

Was there a chance that he could swear off revenge? Stay in Konoha and forge a new family with team seven? Sure, he had failed miserably so far, but maybe he hadn't tried hard enough to let them in. Maybe more time with Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi would lull his deep-rooted hatred back to sleep, allow him to concentrate on them. He smiled. He could just hear their voices now. 'Sasuke bastard!' 'Sasuke-kun!' His family… That thought was nice, but fleeting as he remembered his encounter with Naruto earlier on the roof of the hospital.

He'd really tried to hurt Naruto today. He and Naruto had always been rivals, but they were also comrades. They trusted each other with their lives, relied on one another; they were best friends, and earlier today none of that had mattered to Sasuke. He wanted nothing more than to beat the shit out of Naruto because he was so angered at himself for not being good enough. He'd even went so far as to use the assassination technique, chidori, against his best friend. He might have killed him. Thank goodness Kakashi had shown up in time to stop the fight.

Now, in hindsight, Sasuke felt ashamed of himself, but he was so blinded by rage and self-loathing that at the time he could see none of that. Naruto seemed to be gaining everything Sasuke was supposed to have, strength, power, the ability to protect those important to him; everything that Sasuke was failing at lately.

His only thought was that if he could beat Naruto soundly enough then he'd prove himself worthy, or at least slightly less useless, and that was dangerous and unacceptable, not to mention false. It would not change his defeat against the sound. If he'd succeeded in delivering a crushing defeat to Naruto it still would not have convinced Sasuke of his own worth. Instead it would have left him feeling guiltier and weaker than he did now, if that was possible. To need to beat the kid called dead last to feel tough. 'What's becoming of me?'

His inner demon was hurting his friends, his new family, and changing him in ways he didn't much like. He wouldn't, no couldn't, let them close, and now he tried to severely hurt Naruto. Something had to be done, and as far as Sasuke could see he had two choices: to continue his life and try to forget, or sell his soul to the devil, Orochimaru, in an attempt to quiet the darkness raging inside him.

It was too dangerous to bury his hate. He acted too violently, too unpredictably when it finally woke, like today with Naruto. No, he couldn't bury it. And he certainly couldn't forget. That was just physically impossible. Even if his waking mind could forget, his sleep filled one would remind him. His frequent nightmares would remind him, and with new enemies kicking his ass almost daily, reminding him of his weakness and inability to protect his friends, his hate seemed ever present on the surface. It was no longer buried. 

Sasuke's failures began to stack up in his mind. He was too weak to fend off the four sounds, too weak to break the Raijin no Ken, too weak to beat Aoi, too weak to take down Gaara, even when Sakura's life was on the line, and… he was too weak take down his brother, who was threatening to hurt Naruto. He gritted his teeth at the thought of him, his name scraping against his insides like a trapped beast. "Itachi", he growled & hissed. The sound of that name on his ears, the thought of it in his head brought white and black spots of rage to his eyes. It blinded him with hate, fury, betrayal, loss…

He wanted so much to deliver every tiny spark of pain that Itachi made him feel back on him ten fold. He wanted his brother to feel what he'd made him feel. And Why? Understanding? Closure? Recovery? Disbelief… There was a thought. Disbelief… Yes, there was a part of him that still couldn't believe his brother was capable of such a deed. He would have a hard time believing anyone could commit such an atrocity, but this wasn't just anybody. This was his brother.

Sasuke imagined that if he could just visit enough pain on his brother, pound him with fists and legs hard enough Itachi would understand and feel the hurt he had caused him. Then Itachi would hang his head in shame and apologize. 'I'm sorry Sasuke. I had no idea.' Because surly if he had known the hurt and pain it would cause his otouto, he never would have done it, right? Because to admit that he knew and still did it would be to accept that he meant nothing to his brother. That all of Sasuke's visions of a loving brother carrying him on his back, offering to attend his school functions when his own father would not would be a lie. That his brother was pretending…

Itachi's words rang through his head. 'Foolish otouto. I played the role of the brother you always wanted… to test your capacity.' It had all been a lie. He'd never loved him, only pretended, and Sasuke had believed it. Sure they'd had their problems like all siblings, but he had loved Itachi.

Sasuke grabbed at his chest, fisted his shirt in his hands until his fingers were a deep red and his knuckles a stark white. It hurt. It hurt so much it drowned out everything else, new friends included. More than revenge, Sasuke needed closure. "Niisan," he whispered.

He hadn't realized Itachi's transgressions had damaged him so much until now. He couldn't trust, couldn't love properly, and because of that he'd never be able to have a new family. Tears pooled at the corners of his eyes. They burned because he refused to let them fall. He couldn't even give his friends that. He couldn't even weep for the loss of them. His mind was screaming at him not to allow it, convincing him of the hurt his friends would end up causing him, cursing them for the pain he felt now. No, his mind wasn't going to let him shed tears for them, and it took the opportunity to remind him of his inability to protect them even if he could let them in.

The smiling faces of his friends flashed in his mind, and he felt sadness at the thought of leaving them and shame at the pain he'd caused them. But when the face of Itachi swam into vision, he felt the familiar scraping of gut wrenching hate and pain. He'd thought his teeth would break from clenching his jaw so tight, and the rage washed away the sadness, and the faces of his friends disappeared behind the familiar spots of black and white that danced in his sight when the fury hit him. And then Sasuke was sure that to stay would be to invite another incident like today on the hospital roof with Naruto, and maybe next time it would be worse. There was just no room in his life for new loves or friends. His inner demon would not allow it. It would fester and grow until it pushed them aside, and Sasuke wanted to prevent that. They had pain of their own to deal with. Sasuke didn't want to cause them more. 

As long as the darkness was alive and inside him, Sasuke had no future. This he now knew. And so he must leave to try to cleanse or kill that inner demon. Perhaps he'll survive to someday come back to his new family healed and whole, but whether or not he'd survive was irrelevant. Without this chance he had no future anyway. As risky as it was, this was his one shot to someday gain happiness… peace.

Orochimaru was a powerful dangerous man, and he'd committed some pretty dark deeds, but he had what Sasuke needed. He could give him power, train him, send him on missions that tested his training and strength… He could prepare him for Itachi, the seed to all the poison in Sasuke's soul. He didn't need to like Orochimaru to use him. He smiled wickedly at that.

'Sasuke forget about your revenge.' Oh how he wished his mind would let him. "Forgive me Kakahi-sensei, but I just can't." And with one last long look, Sasuke turned the picture of his friends face down, threw his pack over his shoulder, and left his home for the last time.

Next Chapter: For Love Of Sakura


	2. For Love of Sakura Part I

As a courtesy, I'm reminding readers that this story is rated M (NC 17). This story _will_ contain mature content. Chapters may contain blood, violence, swearing, intimate situations… but then that is to be expected with this rating, right? Anyway. You've been sufficiently been warned.

According to my research Sasuke's age when he leaves Konoha is listed anywhere between 12 and fifteen. For purposes of this story I'm going with 15, though in reality (according to the anime & manga) I think it's really supposed to be closer to 12 or 13. Anyway, for this chapter, since I have jumped forward two years, that would make Sasuke, Sakura, & Naruto 17 now.

**Disclaimer**: Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

Chapter Two: For Love of Sakura

Part One: Dangerous Encounter

_Two Years Later… _

Sasuke was a bit nervous traveling through the Fire country. He was journeying through the thick forest that surrounded Konoha, and though he wasn't in the hidden village's actual territory, he was close enough that there were liable to be quiet a few Konoha ninja traveling through this forest going to and from missions. His odds of coming into contact with one of his ex-fellow shinobi were too great for his comfort.

If he'd had his choice, he wouldn't have traveled near Konoha at all, but his mission was in the Wave country, and unless he was willing to go hundreds of miles out of his way there was no avoiding it.

He remembered studying the map, trying to eke out the best possible route to take. He'd nearly groaned at what he saw. The Fire country laid right smack between the Sound and Wave villages, and it covered so much area that even a very indirect route wouldn't allow him to bypass it. There was no avoiding it, not reasonably anyway, and to top it off he'd have to travel through it for quiet a while. He really had groaned then. Sasuke recalled an observing Kabuto laughing, and when Sasuke scowled at him he only laughed harder.

He ginned at the memory, but didn't linger in his thoughts long; he needed to stay focused. He put all his senses on alert, tuning them to the sight, sound, or feel of any impending company. He only hoped he'd be able to get enough of an advanced warning to steer clear of anyone. 

He desperately wanted to avoid any encounter with ninja from his former home, and so he traveled high up in the trees, as fast as his feet and chakra could possibly take him. If he was sensed or spotted the Leaf ninja would definitely engage him.

Sasuke doubted he'd be welcomed with open arms, but then he didn't exactly want to see any of them either. They'd either want to drag him back or kill him, and Sasuke wasn't about to have either; there would definitely be a scuffle. He would fight anyone who opposed him if he had to, but he wanted to avoid that at all possible cost; the quicker he was away from here, the better. 

Using his chakra to enhance his speed was a bit risky; nearby ninja would be able to detect his use of power, and he'd definitely be detected, Sasuke had no doubts of that. He was very, very strong. On the other hand he had a lot of distance to cover through this territory, and walking would cause him to inhabit this forest for days on end. Surely that would increase his chances of exposure ten times more than merely using chakra would. So, fast travel was the lesser of two dangers.

This was his second time skirting the forests around Konoha. The first was his journey to the Wave. He'd traveled the same as he was now, high and fast, and he'd had no trouble. He was only hoping it would go the same now.

He was returning from an assassination mission. A businessman from the water country had been receiving death threats. He'd wanted to conscript ninja from Orochimaru to find the identity of the killer, and dispose of him. 'Real quiet like,' he'd asked. Apparently two of the businessman's brothers had already been murdered after receiving similar threats, and it was time to take action before he himself or his wife and children were eliminated.

In his letter to Orochimaru, the businessman had praised the sound leader's ninja for their deadly reputation. They were known for being ruthlessly efficient and extremely discreet. Or so the man had been told, apparently they came highly recommended by a good friend of his.

He appealed to Orochimaru stating that he wanted to deal with no other village than Sound. He'd even promised to pay whatever price was necessary to get the Sannin to accept. Whoever the businessman's source was, he must have said some pretty flattering things. It was nice to know that their new village was growing in reputation and popularity with the clients.

Orochimaru had been ecstatic after reading the letter. Sasuke had heard his master ranting to Kabuto about things like more clients coming to the Sound meant less going to the other villages. The snake man had voiced that in just a few short years the sound was already considered one of the most powerful villages. The two had speculated on what fortune a few more years might bring; perhaps the sound village would surpass Konoha in strength and greatness, and Orochimaru's name would bring more respect than the Hokage's. The thought of the Sound village being regarded higher than the Leaf was blissful to the snake.

Sasuke knew that Orochimaru harbored resentment towards Konoha. It was obvious in the way he nearly spat the name of the leaf village, and then there was the fact that he nearly destroyed it and killed the hokage. He didn't know all the details as to why Orochimaru hated the village, but Sasuke didn't need to to recognize the intense hate and bitterness in his teacher toward everything Konoha. It mirrored his own feelings toward Itachi.

It was that shared bitterness and hatred that caused a bond to form between Sasuke and his master. Though they both suffered from different circumstances and different culprits, it still bred the same feelings, and because of that they could understand each other on some dark primitive level.

Back during the Chuunin exam, Orochimaru had recognized Sasuke's suffering, rage, need… He'd seen it all, told Sasuke he could see it in his eyes, and offered to help him, to give him what he needed. He'd promised all that Sasuke had wanted, and so far he'd been true to his word. 

As one of the Sannin's pupils he was never sheltered from dangerous missions, and was encouraged to gain as much strength and power as he could. Orochimaru showed him so many techniques.

Sasuke liked having someone teach him so many things, and encourage him to learn as many as possible, push him to perform them to perfection, and force him to become as powerful as he possibly could.

"Kakashi," he whispered. He felt like his praise of Orochimaru was a betrayal to his old sensei, and he felt guilty. Guilty because he'd found a peace with the old Sannin he hadn't known in a long time. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate all the Copy Ninja had done for him, because Sasuke did. He was grateful for the one-on-one instruction Kakashi had given, grateful for him sealing Orochimaru's curse, and grateful for the concern he'd shown for him, but in the end they just couldn't understand each other.

Like everyone else in the Leaf village, Kakashi only spoke to the goodness in Sasuke, and hardly talked of the bad things. Whenever anyone in Konoha spoke of bad things it was a quick 'the life of a shinobi sucks, so you might as well get happy already'… 'Sure, your whole family was slaughtered, but the market has free cupcakes today, so you shouldn't be mad'… 'Your brother pretended to love you then tortured you, but you made three friends so you should forget about it'… "Not good enough," he mumbled. The good side rarely outweighed the bad.

Was he supposed to believe that Itachi should be allowed to live and roam freely because Sasuke had a few friends? Friends he couldn't even bring himself to be consciously nice to most of the time? It seemed as though his anger was thought unrighteous, that he had so much good in his life that Itachi's deeds should seem like another life. 

Kakashi stroked his goodness with a soft voice, 'new friends', 'nothing good ever comes from revenge', 'revenge will only bring you more pain'. He had looked at Kakashi with longing eyes, begging him to say 'what Itachi did was unforgivable', and 'I'm sure there isn't enough anger that could express how you feel'. Instead he'd said 'we're both unlucky'. Unlucky couldn't even begin to describe it. That statement made it sound like he'd lost a coin toss or something, and he'd quickly lashed out at his teacher.

Even Sakura had said that revenge wasn't going to make him or anyone happy. Why didn't anyone understand that he wasn't happy anyway? He wanted to scream. Wasn't there anyone who understood him? He stopped dead in his tracks… he couldn't breathe. One name whispered in his mind, in his own voice… 'Orochimaru, Orochimaru-sama understands you'. Isn't that what he'd been implying all along? Yes, but he didn't really realize what he was saying until now. It was frightening, but the moment his inner voice said it he knew it was true. The only one who'd said they understood, the only one who put Sasuke's feelings into words, and the only one who accepted him in spite of it… or maybe because of it, was Orochimaru. He didn't want to breath, didn't want to move, that's not who he wanted acceptance from.

At the Sound he wasn't chastised for his anger, aloof attitude, or his need to be as strong as possible. Orochimaru understood. He understood Sasuke's anger and need for revenge, and even if it wasn't understanding of the brotherly or fatherly sort, it was understanding nonetheless. It was refreshing, and Sasuke felt as though that was something he'd always been missing in Konoha. And it wasn't as though he wanted to be coddled. He only wanted someone to understand him, if even just a little. He longed to hear someone say 'I understand Sasuke. I would be furious too'. He had been so tired of hearing 'forget about revenge', 'revenge won't make you happy', 'love everyone around you', 'stop being angry' … he rolled his eyes, 'blah, blah, blah'. Why was it so hard to understand that he was hurt and pissed, and angry and pissed, and betrayed and pissed, and mostly he was just pissed. And didn't he have a right to be?

He ranted to himself until his fists were leaking blood from being clenched so hard, and his jaw was sore from gritting his teeth. His eyes burned dangerously with pent up anger.

Why wouldn't Konoha let him be angry? Throughout his whole childhood after the Itachi incident no one lectured him about the wrongness of revenge or anger. No one acted concerned about his standoffish behavior. Not one person argued that wanting power and being the strongest was wrong as they watched him strive for it all through his academy years. And Why? Because then he was their star pupil, he was praised for being the strongest. He was something to brag about, their village trophy. All that he was, and all that he'd accomplished was celebrated by the village until someone else coveted him. 

Orochimaru had seen his behavior and demeanor for what it was; he'd praised it, wanted it, stroked it, promised things… With Orochimaru's interest came the awakening of Konoha, and their introduction to Uchiha Sasuke. Suddenly the Leaf village was very aware of what Sasuke was. Gone was the boy who strove to be the best in everything, gone was the boy who was the most powerful of his peers, gone was the brooding boy with the perpetual frown, and gone was the aloof arrogance. Now he was a power hungry, dangerous, anger ridden weapon with no real emotional ties to the village.

They'd missed what was under their noses all along, and when they finally saw it they became concerned. But it was too late. Orochimaru's plans were laid and if Sasuke fought against the snake's manipulation he'd lose; hadn't he already?

Orochimaru would stroke Sasuke's darkness, whisper to it, tempt it… No amount of friends, or evil suppressing seals would hold Orochimaru's ambitions at bay. He understood Sasuke, and he knew how to win him. He was a master strategist and he loved the game.

Orochimaru made sure Sasuke felt weak, powerless, helpless, and he stoked the fire of Sasuke's anger as often as possible. And if none of that worked then all the Sannin had to do was mention Itachi, and Sasuke would be mindless with rage and easy to manipulate.

Sasuke knew deep down that Orochimaru had manipulated him, but somehow that didn't seem to matter. He had wanted Sasuke, had wanted him for everything he was, and everything he wanted to accomplish. The logic was simple, the snake man wanted what he wanted and he would do what was necessary to get it; Sasuke understood that. He could relate to that. Wasn't that what he was willing to do with Itachi? Wasn't that why he was with Orochimaru now? Yes, they understood each other, they'd use each other, and when the using was over only one of them would remain. Sasuke smiled wickedly. "That someone will be me."

He glided from tree to tree, taking in the scent of the fresh forest air. 'Mmm', that was a scent very familiar to him. "Konoha," he whispered. The anger and sadness began to wash away as he breathed in the familiar fresh scent of the Fire country. He smiled as the warm breeze drifted over his face and fanned his hair. Sasuke closed his eyes allowing himself to stop on a large branch and enjoy the feel of being so close to home… 'Home?' He snapped his eyes open. Where had that thought come from? The sound was his home now, not Konoha.

It was true he'd hoped to one day call the hidden village of Leaf home again, but it wasn't right now and hadn't been for two years. Sasuke frowned, remembering when he first left Konoha. So many of his peers had given chase to him, and many either died or were hurt very badly; at least that's what Naruto seemed to allude the last time they'd met.

How foolish was he, thinking he could ever go home to Konoha? They probably considered him a traitor, a betrayer, a deserter... Sasuke stood dumfounded for a moment; a familiar feeling clenched his gut. 'Home'… He lowered his head, pushing his fist into his stomach in attempt to ease the disquieting flutter he felt there. 'I can never go home again.'

But then was it ever really his home? Sasuke thought about it… Yes it was… before the destruction of his clan it was home. His entire family surrounded him then; they made up nearly the entire police force for god's sake. His family was a very big presence in Konoha. Back then he definitely considered the Leaf village home.

'But what about after they were gone?' Did a familiar scent make it his home? Was that all he had to go home to… the smell of the air? So what, so he liked the fresh air around here. Other than that what was there? Three faces flashed in his mind… Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi… He ignored them. There was no point in dredging up old friends if he was never going to see them again. Right?

He remembered back to his childhood after the death of his clan. He marked how his attitude had changed, how the people around him had changed and reacted to him. It was revealing really, and strange that he hadn't noticed the pattern before. Only now when he reflected on his life there did he see how they'd failed him. He didn't blame them for the way things were back then. He didn't even blame them for the way things were now. He was only angry with them for not understanding, for not being able to see, and for probably labeling him a traitor for doing what he felt he had to. They couldn't help him; they'd had years to do it, but they never did.

The fact was Sasuke's sour demeanor and angry attitude as a child clashed with the peaceful times Konoha was experiencing. They celebrated in a peaceful village after suffering so many years of death, desertion and destruction. With wars and the nine tails running loose, many families were torn apart, friends and loved ones were lost; terror infiltrated every corner and crevice in the village until the people were blinded to everything else. They'd even lost their beloved fourth hokage. They'd seen so much misery and darkness that when light and peace finally came they wanted to bask in it, forget about the darkness for as long as possible, even if that meant ignoring the darkness trapped within others. And that's just what they did.

They'd turned a blind eye to blackness and turmoil, only focusing on the good things. He didn't blame them; he only hoped they didn't blame him for not being able to celebrate with them. As light and good as it was for them, he was surrounded in his own nearly impenetrable darkness. 

They didn't want to face the tragedy of the Uchiha family; it was too soon for them. They weren't equipped to handle it. His tragedy wasn't acknowledged. He was treated like every other child that was born during those peaceful times, and that would have been okay except that he wasn't like them. Peace hadn't lasted for him like it did them, and that made him different. His attitude screamed that he was different, but it was ignored. They'd tried to shove him into a mold they thought he should be in, instead of opening their eyes and really seeing him.

It seemed as though his whole life they had watched the hatred and anger eat him from the inside out, and yet they denied it was ever happening. Sasuke's frowns would be answered with a smile and a pat on the head. They'd assumed he frowned for no better reason other than he was a brooding child. They'd accepted his loner attitude as a product of being an elite Uchiha, even agreeing that he should be arrogant because he was a member of that select family.

He couldn't really blame them. Who would want to dwell on one upset child when their own families had already seen so much sadness and heartache? Why wouldn't they want to concentrate on themselves and their family's own happiness? Especially when it was easy for them to pretend the Uchiha tragedy never really happened. It wasn't personal to them like it was to him. It was a horror story, or scary movie to them… something surreal that they could forget about as soon as they were tucked safely away in their own beds.

They weren't the ones who had to walk down the empty Uchiha section of the village, sit alone at the dinner table… "Huuuh," he sighed irritably. He didn't need their pity anyway; he just didn't want their anger. He just wanted to be him, and to deal with things in his own way. That was fine, they weren't able to help, but at least they didn't need to criticize and blame. If they didn't want a part in helping, then they shouldn't have a part in accusing.

To this day Sasuke still didn't know what his father truly thought of him. He'd had so little time with him, said so little words to him. Not because he didn't want to, he didn't get to. Itachi was the lucky one to receive all that, and then his bastard brother didn't even appreciate it. "Rrr." He couldn't hold back the growl. He clenched his fists, wishing so much they were wrapped around his brother's neck.

Back then he'd been happy to have his brother. If he didn't have his father, then he had his brother, but that had been false. The only living member left of his family, and he'd been pretending to love Sasuke. Irony could be cruelly funny. He barked out a short mirthless laugh. No, he couldn't push it aside or forget it like the other villagers, and when he thought of those rat bastards judging him while they sat around their dinner tables laughing it pissed him off. "Assholes, all of them. I don't need them anyway, and I certainly don't need their damn village." He whispered viscously. He couldn't wait to get back to the Sound now, to see the people who accepted him, to those like him… to Orochimaru who could validate him and put him at ease. As hard as it was to believe, he'd found some peace with the snake Sannin.

He began skipping through the trees again at a breakneck pace, stamping out the reminder of his old home and friends with new memories. Thoughts of those back at the Sound began invading his mind, easing his anger a bit and calming him.

Orochimaru, Kabuto, Tayuya… yes, she'd survived, she was the only one of the four that returned and she would have died if it weren't for Kabuto's incredible healing skills. None of them were the loving hugging type, but neither was Sasuke, yet they were close. They all seemed to understand and accept each other. There was no room in their lives for fluffy words or coddling, they'd seen too much, done too much, and been through too much to be able to appreciate such things. Things like that only rang false and garnered mistrust and uneasiness. So, they treated each other accordingly and became close.

Sasuke allowed himself a small smile. His mission had been a success, and now he was on his way back to the Sound, gliding from tree to tree. There had been no need to send other shinobi on this mission with Sasuke. His new sensei had the utmost faith in his abilities as a ninja. He'd grown unbelievingly in strength since he left Konoha.

A few years ago Sasuke wouldn't have even been able to fathom being able to attain so much power in such a small amount of time. He didn't even think twenty years in Konoha could have given him the strength he'd attained in just a couple of years with Orochimaru.

'…'

Sasuke stopped dead in his tracks as he felt the sudden swelling of two enormous chakras, one of which felt vaguely familiar to him. The two weren't friendly to each other; he could feel their bloodlust thicken the air around him, pressing against him. Two people were fighting nearby; one of them he possibly knew. He tensed.

He was awfully close to Konoha right now. He didn't want to confront anyone he knew from his old village. Whoever was fighting might try to drag him back to Konoha. A thousand thoughts ran through his head. His mind screamed for him to run away… fast, but something deep inside his soul whispered for him to go check it out, and somehow that whisper sounded louder and more urgent than the scream. A very desperate, very strong urge clamped down around his heart, something primal and instinctive awoke inside Sasuke and he couldn't resist the pull.

Fear and desperation raced through him, but he couldn't tell why. He wasn't exactly trying to dissect his feelings right now either. He was obeying that instinct deep inside him that pleaded for him to hurry.

He approached quickly but cautiously. As dire as he felt the situation might be he couldn't carelessly rush into an unknown situation like an idiot, like Naruto would do. No, Sasuke was never an idiot, not blatantly anyway, and so he'd assess the situation before plunging in… if he would plunge in at all.

Suppressing his chakra, Sasuke danced in the shadows from tree to tree until he caught sight of the combatants. Sasuke froze… one of them was Akatsuki. He'd know that black and red cloak anywhere…

'Akatsuki'… 'Itachi,' his mind whispered. 'What if it was Itachi?'

One of the chakras suddenly disappeared, the familiar one he should know, 'what happened to the other chakra? There were still two people fighting, both were still present, so where did the one's power go?'

Sasuke was desperately trying to assess the situation. He knew one fighter was a member of Akatsuki, but he still couldn't make out the other. He crept closer, the ground getting moister the closer he got. 'Why was the ground wet? It certainly hadn't rained recently.' He briefly questioned, then threw it aside as immaterial at the moment. The key right now was the identity of the other fighter. He had to get closer.

He knew he had to use extreme caution here. He shouldn't be approaching at all, not when one of them was Akatsuki, and the other a possible Konoha resident, but some unidentifiable feeling that dwelled in the wild and instinctual parts of his heart, body and soul had forcefully urged him on. And now that the thrill of possible battle thrummed in his veins. He'd never turn back.

He felt so exhilarated and alive, and the thought of testing his new powers against Akatsuki in real combat was too elating to ignore. That had always been a weakness with him; wanting to test his strength against the strongest he could find, and these chakras had felt enormous. How would he measure up against that? He smiled wickedly. He couldn't wait to find out.

Orochimaru would probably be furious with Sasuke if he knew he was about to willingly fight a member of the elite deadly group… no not probably, definitely… he'd definitely be angry, but Sasuke couldn't resist, wouldn't resist. As furious as Orochimaru would be, he'd understand. He most assuredly wouldn't like it that Sasuke had done something so reckless, but he'd understand why he did. The two were frighteningly alike in some ways.

His body and blood were singing for battle. His heart was pounding in eagerness and excitement; he was close enough to make out that it was a woman and a man fighting… well he was pretty sure the other was a man; something seemed odd about him. 'So, the Akatsuki was a male.'

He crept closer. 'Did that woman have pink hair?' He shook his head. 'No, not possible.' He watched as the woman was pounded into the ground by a giant sword? Club? 'What was that thing?'

_Closer… _

The woman got up… slowly. The man seemed to wait for her before attacking again. 'Why?' 'Was he toying with her?' Sasuke kept his eyes on the battle as he slowly crept forward.

The Akatsuki member swung for her again; she dodged… barely. Her movements seemed severely diminished. Her posture and actions looked sluggish.

The man kept swinging his giant weapon and she kept dodging, but he was getting closer and closer to hitting her with each swing… she was tiring. 'Why doesn't she do something other than dodge?' 'Why wasn't she forming any seals?' 'Was she out of chakra?' He couldn't feel any coming from her. Then he remembered feeling that huge burst of power suddenly vanish. Her power had vanished. 'Why?' 'How?' So many questions…

_Closer… _

'Oh god…she did have pink hair.' It was her; it was Sakura. Now that he saw her he knew that was her chakra he'd felt. It had seemed so familiar, but it was so strong, far beyond the Sakura that he knew, and that was why he couldn't attach it to the smiling girl he used to know. But it had to be her… familiar chakra, pink hair; he didn't know anyone else with pink hair, and he was so very close to Konoha.

_Closer… _

She was viscously pounded with that giant weapon, and thrown to the ground several feet away from her attacker. A crater formed where her body was pummeled into the ground, earth scattered in all directions… she didn't get up…

Sasuke waited…

No movement…

He couldn't see her anymore, just the crater. 'Please tell me she dodged.' 'Please tell me she dodged.' He mentally chanted the phrase like a mantra as he worked his way forward through the shadows. 'Dammit', why didn't he have his sharingan on? He would have seen if she dodged it then.

He watched as the Akatsuki member started toward the crater. Sasuke's heart clenched as his mind recalled little things Sakura used to do and say. 'I like you so much Sasuke-kun.' 'I'll do anything for you.' 'If you leave me I'll feel all alone.' Sasuke's mind nearly snapped as images of a pink haired girl bearing her soul to him flashed in his head. 'Oh god did I have to remember that?' Memories of a desperate crying girl begging him not to leave, begging him to love her, take her with him, acknowledge her, anything, something… pulsed in his head.

If he would have reached out his hand to her two years ago she'd have taken it and left with him. She'd have gone anywhere with him, done anything for him; she was always his for the taking. He only needed to say the word and she'd have been eternally, irrevocably his. Maybe she still was, he didn't know.

Sakura was always by his side, no matter what, and though he never really possessed her and claimed her as his own, it was well known that he wouldn't tolerate anyone touching her. He'd proven that during the chuunin exam when he broke that Sound nin's arms. That bastard had hurt her, made her cry… He was seething all over again at the memory. 'How dare anyone…' It was an unspoken rule that she was his.

"Tsss." Sasuke hissed dangerously through gritted teeth. A murderous light shone in his eyes. This was no longer about battle and testing strength. This was about blood, and Sasuke would have it. This Akatsuki bastard would die today for daring to touch something precious and sacred to him. He activated his sharingan; time slowed.

The man raised his sword for a strike…

"Sakura, I'm coming," he whispered, moving into action with lightning speed, gathering a kunai and shurikan in each hand.

The giant weapon began its descent. This would be the killing blow…

'No mistakes Sasuke.' He demanded to himself before flying into action.

He whipped the kunai at the man's back, his body quickly following behind it. His speed shamed Lee's; Sasuke was death in motion.

As expected, his opponent felt the incoming threat, sensed the enormous spike in chakra behind him, felt the murderous intent of that power, and abandoned his killing blow to dodge the new attack.

'Good,' Sasuke thought. 'Step one complete.' Sasuke flipped in the air, planted his feet against the trunk of a tree, and threw his shurikan as his foe dodged the kunai. Using his sharingan Sasuke foretold which way the Akatsuki ninja would move to avoid being hit…

The Akatsuki man barely gained his feet as the shurikan flew toward him. He shifted to avoid the new threat.

Sasuke smiled maliciously as Sakura's attacker dodged the shurikan. 'That's a good puppet. Dance for Sasuke.' He vaulted himself from the tree, aiming for his opponent's new trajectory, and slammed his foot into the other shinobi's abdomen forcing him backwards.

The ninja elite landed on his ass; Sasuke landed soundlessly in a half crouch, and there he remained as the other ninja corrected himself and faced him.

Sasuke gasped at what he saw… beady eyes, gills, foul gray skin… 'Kisame'. For a moment, Sasuke's mind blinked in astonishment. He hadn't really expected to recognize his opponent. For a fleeting moment he'd entertained the thought that it might be Itachi, but as he'd gotten closer he knew it wasn't.

Kisame's eyes widened slightly when he saw Sasuke's sharingan eyes, but he quickly recovered. "I won't kill you if you leave now boy." A deep voice yanked Sasuke from his mental stuttering.

'What?' 'Was he kidding?' Sasuke thought, and started to laugh. It was a menacing condescending chuckle. If he was angry before, he was completely livid now. The last time he'd seen Kisame, the gray-skinned freak, he'd been with his brother.

Itachi's face flashed in his mind. Thoughts of his sibling combined with the sight of Sakura brought immeasurable blinding rage to life inside him. He smiled wickedly, thinking only of blood… spilling blood, killing, maiming… "I'll be damned if I'm going to run from Itachi's bitch."


	3. For Love of Sakura Part II

Once again, as a courtesy, I'm reminding readers that this story is rated M. This is for mature readers only. This chapter contains some blood and violence, swearing… but then that is to be expected with this rating, right?

Terms: Not many. _Taijutsu_ is basically hand to hand fighting, without special ninja techniques. _Genjutsu_ is basically illusionary techniques.

**Disclaimer**: Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

Chapter Two: For Love of Sakura

Part Two: "Arigato"

Itachi's face flashed in his mind. Thoughts of his sibling combined with the sight of Sakura brought immeasurable blinding rage to life inside him. He smiled wickedly, thinking only of blood… spilling blood, killing, maiming… "I'll be damned if I'm going to run from Itachi's bitch." 

Kisame narrowed his eyes at the dark haired boy's cheeky comment, 'a bold statement for such a novice fighter'. It was clear to the shark looking man that a lesson was in order. This boy called Sasuke needed to learn some humility, and Kisame was going to be the one to teach him.

Sasuke saw the shark narrow his eyes in what looked like irritation and disbelief. It wasn't the actual words that bothered the Akatsuki, but with the way they were said and who said them. Such brash words were probably never spoken so venomously and arrogantly to someone of Kisame's stature, if at all. That thought made Sasuke smirk. 'So the comment bothered him a bit did it?' 

Kisame saw the arrogant smirk painted across his opponent's face; he couldn't stand the cocky confidence the boy's expression exuded. He'd seen that look on many a man's face, and expertly wiped that look off each and every one. The boy would be no different.

The boy's light attitude of Kisame's abilities as a fighter was annoying, and though he hated to admit it, it angered him. The shark's nostrils flared at the indignity of the young Uchiha's brash attitude. He would just have to unsettle the boy a bit; shake his confidence some. Show him just exactly what he was up against.

Kisame threw his giant sword, Samehada, over his shoulder. It was a lazy motion, one arm hung limp to at his side, the other languidly resting on the grip of his sword. He rested most of his weight on one leg mimicking a completely comfortable relaxed position. Any onlooker, including Sasuke, would think him unworried and rather bored.

Sasuke bristled a bit at this. That ugly shark looking thing was taking him lightly, underestimating him. Sasuke didn't like it. He _tsked_ in irritation and charged the enemy, just like he'd done with Gaara during the Chuunin exam, showing amazing speed and dexterity.

Kisame moved to bring his sword around to swallow Sasuke's chakra.

Sasuke saw the sword coming for him; 'oh no you don't', the Uchiha would have none of that. He turned on his super speed to swing behind Kisame, avoid his sword and kick him. 

Momentarily caught off guard, Kisame stopped his initial sword swing to jump high in the air avoiding Sasuke's roundhouse kick… barely. The boy was fast… very fast. But not fast enough.

Smiling, the shark brought his Samehada down on top of Sasuke's head…

_Poof!_ Sasuke was… a piece of wood? 'Damn,' the boy was better than he thought. He only had a moment for his eyes to widen before Sasuke's fist connected with his face. Kisame turned into water.

Perhaps he'd underestimated the boy. The replacement technique was not an advanced one by any means, but it was the timing of it that had made the boy's use of it especially good. To form a replacement so fast, the young Uchiha must have performed the technique nearly the same time he punched. Not an amazing feat, but difficult nonetheless. Still… the boy wasn't good enough, at least not of Kisame's caliber.

Sasuke saw that the real Kisame had been replaced with a water clone mid punch, but didn't have time to pull back. Water exploded everywhere. Sasuke was soaked. He went to wipe the water from his eyes, silently cursing, but stopped when a sharp pain gripped his left upper arm… blood spattered.

Kisame smiled, showing every inch of his dagger-like teeth. 'Got him!' He'd shaved the skin of the boy's upper arm with his Samehada, hurting and bleeding him. "I thought Itachi's brother would be better than this." He barked out obnoxiously. He so loved to taunt the boy.

Sasuke forgot the pain in his arm as soon as he heard the shark's words. 'Son of a bitch,' Sasuke's rage increased immensely; he silently promised retribution for the taunting. He'd make that fish fool eat those words, choke on them…

He couldn't believe that damn shark managed to hit him. It really pissed him off. Of course, after hearing Kisame's well-aimed verbal remarks, it was hard to say whether it was being hit that pissed him off, or the mentioning of Itachi. Could have been both… no matter, so the Akatsuki possessed some speed of his own; it wasn't unfeasible considering who he was, Sasuke would just have to be faster.

Using incredible speed, Sasuke spun, dropping to the ground, kicking Kisame into the air, and following behind him to crush the Akatsuki's nose with a backhanded fist, then violently kick him. Kisame continued to fall into the ground… Water exploded…

'Damn,' Kisame silently swore. This time the boy's speed was near incomprehensible. He'd felt the pain of the blows, but never even saw them. His only thought was to create a clone, needing to get out of the situation as fast as possible. 

Sasuke had seen Kisame create another clone just before he smacked the ground. He'd still hit the mist asshole hard… twice. The Uchiha was slightly impressed… slightly, to break out of the lion combo was no small feat.

Kisame had just enough time to create & switch with a water clone after Sasuke's devastating punch connected with his face and his kick to his ribs. Now Kisame was bloody-faced, a couple of ribs were cracked or broken. The boy would pay. He appeared behind Sasuke, knocking the Uchiha's legs out from under him, sending him sprawling.

It was a bit undignified to be sat on his ass by the shark's sword, probably retribution for Sasuke's sitting of him earlier. Whatever the reason it was definitely humbling, and more than a bit irritating, but he wouldn't let the shark see his tarnished pride.

The shark must be really angry. Instead of going for a crippling or more damaging move, the mist ninja used his opportunity to send him sprawling indignantly. Sasuke stood slowly, eyeing Kisame, he'd nodded his head once to the Akatsuki in acknowledgement of the hit, then plastered the toothiest, cockiest smile he could muster across his face. 

Kisame was sore, and more than a little disturbed that the boy had managed to strike him… twice, and hard at that. Oh he wanted to wipe that arrogant smile off the boy's face. "You look like your brother, but you fight like a drop out." He spat venomously.

'That worked.'

'Oh yes, shark man was upset', but now so was Sasuke. He couldn't help it. No matter how much he'd like to let that comment roll off his back and just smile nonchalantly, he just couldn't, not where his brother was concerned. He was good at ignoring things, but not that good. That one subject worked at getting his ire up every time.

Sasuke grit his teeth, wanting so badly to rub the Akatsuki's face into the ground, and push and push until the fish man was crushed, suffocated, bloodied… The vision was so strong Sasuke could actually feel the texture of the other man's hair in his hand, while he mentally gripped the shark's ugly head and forced it into the hard ground. 

Sasuke attacked with renewed fervor, allowing his anger a bit more free reign, but not enough to make him lose focus or control. He fed into the fantasy of continuously pounding on the man, hurting and injuring him more and more. He lost himself in attack after attack, enjoying the feel of pummeling the homely shark as often as possible. The fight went on and on.

'Why won't he just die?' Sasuke thought.

'This boy should not be my equal.' Kisame mentally sneered in disgust.

Sasuke hurled fire, Kisame answered with water; swift kicks, punches, combos were thrown with vicious force, each opponent out to kill. Bone-cracking _ thwacks_ echoed through the air as powerful hit met powerful hit.

After a while, it seemed the both of them were out of fancy techniques, so they just fought hand to hand.

Sasuke pushed his Lee style taijutsu to its limits, delivering blow after blow to his enemy, receiving some in kind.

The fight went on for a while. Kicks met clones, punches met replacements… both were hurt, bloodied, bruised...

Sasuke was becoming worried that their intense fight would draw ANBU or some other Konoha force… or hurt Sakura. He glanced where she lay, worry seeping its way into his thoughts, mixing with his battle lust. He needed to end this fight quickly.

Kisame near cackled in glee when he saw Sasuke glance worriedly at the girl, concern written on his face. This was it. The boy would die… now. Kisame moved his hands with lightning speed hand gestures, taking advantage of Sasuke's momentary lapse in concentration…

'Shit.' Sasuke mentally swore when he realized his mistake. He tensed waiting to react to whatever the shark was going to throw at him.

"Still the inexperienced little brother, the weakest Uchiha, distracted in a life and death match by a girl…" Kisame laughed. "Are you that confident or that stupid?" He placed particular emphasis on 'stupid', laughing harder, knowing the boy was berating himself right now for his lack of concentration, and wanting to take advantage of that, to pour salt into the boy's wound… unbalance him. Hoping that this would end the fight.

Sasuke barely had time to register the insults let alone get angered by them… or so he thought. A very large part of him stayed battle focused, not allowing the jibes to affect him at all. After all things like that were a child's game… right? But the smallest most minute part of Sasuke's mind took those comments Kisame had made and grabbed onto them, stored them, studied them… Each time Kisame threw out his scathing comments this part of him considered whether or not the shark's words might be true, but so far Sasuke hadn't paid any heed to these thoughts.

The ground shook, and a thundering roar filled the air as a huge column of water rose before the Uchiha, molding into a giant dragon. Sasuke watched in nervous awe as a towering water dragon screamed in rage above him.

Sasuke's eyes widened momentarily in surprise, he hadn't expected this.

The dragon dove for him. It would absolutely crush Sasuke if it hit him. He bit his thumb, performed some quick seals, and answered Kisame's dragon with a huge snake. The beasts clashed sending powerful shock waves through the forest. 

The two titans battled each other to their master's commands, neither giving ground. Trees cracked and were felled as the thrashing of the fighting creatures pounded and crushed them.

'Damn.' Sasuke thought. 'Will this fight never end?' Such a fight occurring so close to where Sakura lay… defenseless… worried him. It was only by God's will and blind luck that they hadn't killed her thus far.

An especially thick-trunked tree was hit by the snake's tail with immense force, causing a resounding crack to resonate in the air as it broke and crashed to the forest floor. Snapping both opponents out of their battle lust long enough to realize how carried away they'd gotten.

Neither one wanted to draw out Konoha forces; they both had something to lose if that happened, so in silent agreement they sent their titanic beasts away, resolving themselves to battle more discreetly. But both knew the damage had been done and they'd have to end this soon or give up; forces would be sent soon, neither doubted that, and both were wanted men.

Sasuke hadn't wanted to summon the snake. He was avoiding it at all cost. It was a surefire way to draw attention… the kind he was trying to avoid, but he'd had little choice in the matter. Now he really did have to find a way to end this so he could get the hell out of there… fast.

Sasuke released the cursed seal… stage one, and smiled an evil smile. There was one technique he hadn't tried on the Akatsuki. So far they'd been fighting equally, but now it was time to show Kisame just how dangerous his sharingan had become.

'Where the hell did that kid go?' Kisame wondered. One moment the boy was there smiling like evil incarnate, the next he disappeared. Curse that boy; he watched him form the seals, but he didn't know the fool had any more tricks left. He had seemed as resigned as Kisame to fight it out fists and legs.

Suddenly, several snakes were rushing at him, hissing viciously, flying at him from all directions, biting, flailing, slithering around him… 'Of course… snakes,' Kisame thought. This was Orochimaru's student, of course he'd use snakes.

They were everywhere. Kisame dodged, punched, ducked… tried whatever he could to get the snakes away from him, kill them, but there were too many of them, and after awhile he was overtaken. The snakes wrapped around him, binding his arms and legs tightly to him, preventing him from moving. 

Kisame struggled to free himself. It was a ridiculous sight; he looked like he was performing some sort of new dance, wriggling to and fro, bending here and there, and this humiliation was all for naught because his bindings remained tight as ever.

Suddenly the thought hit the shark that this was an illusion. Damn, that kid must have a very well developed sharingan to create an illusion strong enough to fool a ninja of his stature for this long. Kisame bit through his tongue… hard. He put all his willpower into concentrating on that pain. It was unfortunate that he was used to bearing pain; it made it that much harder to create enough pain to break the illusion, but he'd succeeded.

Sasuke saw Kisame's eyes clear signally that he was coming out of the illusion. "Too Late." He whispered as he plunged the chidori through the shark's heart. The Akatsuki's eyes widened as the lightening edge cut through him. The pain lasted only for the few seconds it took his life to leave him.

Sasuke panted. He was bruised, bloodied, tired, and extremely elated. He smiled. He'd done it. He'd killed one of the Akatsuki, one of the strongest ninja in existence. His only regret was not being able to question Kisame on the whereabouts of his brother. He threw that thought away almost as soon as he'd had it. That freaky fish looking guy was one of the most elite ninja in the world, he wouldn't have given Sasuke any information.

It was incredibly ironic and almost blasphemous that Orochimaru's teachings should combine with Kakashi's in such a deadly technique. Combining the two seemed so sinfully wrong, and Sasuke felt oddly traitorous though to which sensei was the question… probably both. Sasuke smirked a tad arrogantly. It was an incredible combination… incredible and very deadly. He silently thanked both of his senseis, and apologized, because as traitorous as it felt he would use it again and again. It was too powerful not to.

He walked over to where Sakura lay. Her eyes were slightly open, her body and face bruised and bloodied. He watched her eyes study him for a moment… her eyebrows lowered in confusion… then widened in recognition. "Sasuke-kun," he heard her whisper, in an almost inaudible groggy voice. 

He said nothing, just moved quickly to where his bag lay, throwing out his senses, trying to feel if any other ninja were about. He sensed none… yet. He began leafing through the different contents of his travel bag, searching for anything, everything that might help ease the pain he knew Sakura must be feeling. He pulled out a sealed bag, a water bottle, bandages… and walked back to Sakura.

Kneeling down beside her, he gently wiped stray hairs from her face. She was unconscious again. Her face was dirt covered and bruised.

Ever so gently, his hands and eyes searched her for injuries. She had considerable bruising over her ribs; some were probably broken or cracked. There was a large area on her upper thigh where it looked like she took a nasty injury from the Samehada. Other than that she had mostly cuts and bruises.

He was by no means a medical nin, but he knew a few basics. After watching Kabuto for two years, Sasuke could roughly assess injuries, and clean and bandage them, nothing spectacular. It was crude knowledge gained for simple injury treatment, just like this.

In a way he was grateful that she'd lost consciousness again. He wasn't ready to see her, to speak with her, to see her wince in pain as he cleaned and bandaged her wounds. And quite frankly he didn't know what to say to her, how to act. Certainly there was the usually stoic if not cool attitude, but that somehow felt wrong. He had the feeling that things were different between them now, maybe not in her mind, but in his own.

He'd wanted to fight. He'd wanted to test his strength, but when he'd seen her hurt, when the possibility that she was dead hit him, it had become more. The person responsible was standing before him. He'd no longer cared about a battle of might, or who was better than whom. Hell, the thought that his opponent was Akatsuki, one of the strongest ninja in the world, hadn't even mattered then. It could have been anyone, and he'd have felt the same. He'd kill for her, anyone, anywhere…

Sasuke didn't even want to contemplate what such thoughts were implying, so he didn't. There would be time enough for that later.

He began to clean and dress her wounds, his mind barely registering how curvy her figure had become from the almost board straight one he'd known a few years ago. It was hard to miss how womanly her body had become with her high boots, short form fitting shorts and tailored top… Except that Sasuke hadn't noticed. He was too absorbed in tending her wounds.

He exhibited extreme care in rolling or moving her to accommodate the bandaging process. His actions were soft and gentle. Any onlooker who didn't know Sasuke would describe his handling of her as loving, even some that did know him would say the same.

Sasuke winced when she began to stir. Immediately he averted his eyes from her face, busying himself with organizing all the medical supplies he'd gotten out. He wasn't ready to face her, not only because of his roiling emotions, but because of his last encounter with her.

"Sasuke?" She asked in disbelief, her voice laced with fatigue.

Her soft voice caused him so much pain, like two hands gripping and squeezing his heart. She sounded so hopeful that he was there with her, but at the same time so resigned that he wasn't. Absently, he grabbed at his chest, trying to ease the stabbing pain he felt there.

"Sasuke-kun?" She reached out to his kneeling form, placing her hand just above his knee, prodding with her fingers trying to figure out if he was real or illusion.

This time her voice sounded a little desperate, but still he couldn't look at her. He could feel her eyes on his face. They were practically burning a hole through him; he refused to look at her. 'Don't make me Sakura… please.' Sasuke silently pleaded, but past experiences told him she wouldn't stop, wouldn't give up, wouldn't leave him alone… she never did.

"Sasuke… Sasuke… Sasuke…" She sucked in a deep breath between each pronouncement of his name, revving herself up to say more, but never having enough breath to do so.

'Oh God. She's crying.' He could hear the tears in her voice, and this time she sounded desperate and near hysterical. Her voice was still a tired whisper, but to Sasuke she might as well have been screaming. Reflexively he looked at her, meeting her eyes, studying her face. He didn't want to cause her pain, didn't want to be cold to her.

Her desperate pleas and tear-streaked face pulled his mind two years into the past to a day that still haunted him.

Back then Sakura had laid her heart as his feet, bared her soul to him, screamed that she loved him… begged him to be with her.

He'd given her all he could two years ago when she'd placed her heart as his feet. He handed it back to her as gracefully as he'd known how. He hadn't planned on giving her anything back then, he was going to ignore her and leave. Of course she wasn't going to allow that. She'd baited him until he'd snapped back.

'Why do I have to tell you anything? It's none of your business what I do. Stop concerning yourself with me.' Those were his words to her, and he'd said them coolly. He'd wanted her to hear the rebuke in his voice and leave him to his fate, but again she didn't comply, and began playing heartstrings he didn't even know he'd had.

'You've always hated me haven't you?' She'd actually asked him that. He clearly remembered her saying those words. He'd nearly sucked in his breath at the knife-twisting pain they'd caused him then. At the time he'd wanted to fall to his knees and weep at how stupid he'd been. He'd thought she understood him, assured himself that she did, but her words had proved he was wrong.

He had not known how to reply to her, or even if he should reply. Why fight to make her understand when he was just going to leave her anyway?

She saved him from having to reply anyway, asking him if he remembered the day he'd gotten angry with her and called her annoying. Typical Sasuke, he'd told her he didn't remember. 

What else could he have said? 'Yes I remember Sakura, I'm not as cold hearted as you think, but goodbye and have a nice life.' Would that have been any better? He figured if he told her he didn't remember it would cut this too long and painful goodbye short, save them both some heartache. 

He didn't want her to hate him, but he'd figured it would be better than having her pine away for him for gods knew how long. So he'd told her no, he didn't remember; she was supposed to get angry and leave, or sad and leave, whatever, just so long as she left. But that wasn't her way; she plugged on.

Sakura reminded him of all the times team seven had spent together, spoke of the fun they'd had together, how the distance between all of them had shrunk since the survival training. She was stroking those feelings he'd tried so hard to bury before he'd walked out of his room just minutes before. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He'd said goodbye to her, to all of them in the picture. It was hard enough then. Why was she doing this to him? She was killing him. 

He could feel his resolve weakening ever so slightly, as she went on and on about Kakashi, her, Naruto… and then she mentioned his clan, and revenge. It was like suddenly being doused in ice-cold water. He snapped out of that warm place full of memory and friends back to where he was now. His cold exterior came back into form, and he remembered what he was doing, where he was going… why...

His resolve to leave reaffirmed, he decided she deserved some sort of explanation. He'd told her he tried to be like her and Naruto; that he'd tried to walk the path of good with them… together. In the end his heart couldn't forget; he needed to choose revenge. That was the most he'd ever opened up to her, or anyone since his family was killed. He remembered wanting to make her understand, hoping she caught the meaning in those words... 'I didn't want to leave, I tried everything not to, but in the end nothing worked'.

That was when she'd admitted to him that though she had family and friends she'd feel alone without him. That damn picture had flashed in his head then. 'Please understand Sakura.' He'd pleaded in his head as he tried to ease her pain slightly, telling her that from here on out new paths would open for each of them. He wanted her to see that though this seemed painful now she'd have a new road to travel and explore, maybe even a better one. That was when she really became desperate to keep him there. She'd began rambling promises and endearments.

To this day he didn't know if she realized just how much she'd cracked the hard exterior he'd worked so hard to keep. That was when he decided he couldn't let her think he didn't remember the day he'd gotten mad at her. He mimicked exactly what he did to her that day, turned and called her annoying; he even emphasized the word are, so she'd understand that he remembered. 'You really are annoying,' he'd said to her. Her face registered that she did indeed understand what he'd done. She'd looked so surprised though. He could even hear her suck in her breath. To think that such a small thing from him would give her so much pleasure. He'd felt so low leaving her.

He couldn't stand to see her tear streaked face; couldn't stand that he was the cause of that, so he'd started walking away. He couldn't take it anymore. Then she yelled for him not to leave, but when he didn't stop she threatened to scream. He'd rushed back to her then. He wanted her to understand that he appreciated her and her sentiments, but that he had to go. He'd said one word to her… "arigato"… thank you. He appreciated all she'd said and done, and he appreciated that she thought him important, but he had to go. So, he'd knocked her unconscious and laid her on the bench. Who knows what she would have done to keep him there had he not put her out.

And here she was still crying because of him. Sasuke reached out wiping a tear from her cheek. He said nothing, only lifted her in his arms, and made for the treetops.

She groaned in pain every time Sasuke would land particularly hard on a branch. She tried so hard to be silent, to bare the pain in silence, and Sasuke thought she was amazing for not crying out more.

They still hadn't said anything to each other. She'd been silent since he'd gathered her into his arms, only now and then lightly grazing his cheek with her fingertips. And though she didn't say anything, her eyes never left his face. He knew because he could sense them on him, feel them. 

He was insane, truly insane. Sasuke repeated this to himself over and over. He was carrying her to Konoha, to the village, the very village that may ask for his head on a platter… not ask, take.

He wouldn't actually enter the village; he would get within sight of the village gate and the guards patrolling them, then leave Sakura in their care. He'd done what he could for her; they could do the rest.

Sasuke near groaned at the thought of the journey home. He could sense many chakras moving about through the forest, most pretty far away, some close. They were probably searching for him… and for Kisame; he'd be lucky to get out without another fight. For a few seconds a couple of powers screamed familiarity but was drowned out so fast Sasuke never gave them another thought.

Sakura was silent for the entire journey, so was Sasuke. She was content with just looking at him; perhaps she was too tired to speak, or maybe she just didn't want to break the spell of him holding her. Neither saw or encountered another ninja, and now Sasuke was looking toward the gates of Konoha.

The gate guards tensed when they saw Sasuke. He didn't know if they recognized him or not. He wasn't exactly close to them, but who knew. It didn't matter if they did anyway, he would be gone in a minute. They wouldn't pursue him when they needed to take care of her.

Gently, he laid Sakura down, lingering beside her in a crouch for a moment, enjoying her nearness a little longer, before standing to leave.

Sakura was tired, shocked, and in pain, but she recognized that Sasuke was about to leave her. She grasped at his ankles, legs, anything she could grab and hang onto, trying to hold him there or be dragged with him, but she had no strength left.

When she realized she couldn't grab him, hold him, or ever touch him again she started to panic. "Sa… Sas… Sa…" She tried screaming his name, but could barely breath through the hysteria she was feeling. She only managed to whisper incoherent sounds.

Sasuke felt her grabbing at him, heard her try to call for him. 'God not again. Please not again.' He looked into Sakura's face one last time. "Arigato. Sakura." He smiled at her, a genuine smile, and gently placed her bag and the Samehada beside her, a token of this encounter. He saw the guards move forward, probably for attack, and raised his hand. They paused, and he disappeared.

The guards approached Sakura, and immediately recognized her as the Fifth's student. One of them lifted her and began carrying her to the village.

Sakura gasped in the guard's arms, nearly screamed, realizing she'd forgotten something extremely important. Tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to spill. "Naruto… Itachi…" She exclaimed in a loud whisper. 

A/N: Just want to thank Raina and Son of Darkness for their reviews. Thank you both for the glowing reviews! Raina- yes, I finally caved! Didn't take too long did it? Son of Darkness- Thank you for the advice, I did as you suggested! And thanks for adding me to your C2. I hope I don't disappoint.


	4. A Moment of Clarity Please

Disclaimer: Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

Chapter Three: A Moment of Clarity Please

'Oh God. Bright lights… terribly bright lights.' Naruto mentally screamed. He'd woke with the most horrific headache he'd ever had in his entire seventeen years, and this incredibly bright light seemed to be amplifying it by thousands. He squeezed his eyes shut as tight as they'd go trying to block out every stitch of light, hoping that would somehow keep the painful pounding in his head to a dull roar. He sat up.

"Ngh," that was a mistake. He groaned, putting a hand to his head trying to ease the now thundering, pulsating pain. 'And I thought it couldn't get any worse.' As with most headaches, sitting up _definitely_ made the pain worse. Naruto bit his lower lip in a lame attempt to distract himself from the intense throbbing in his head.

'What the hell happened?' Looking around he frowned. He was in the hospital. How the hell did he get in the hospital? Where was Itachi? Where was Sakura? He paused at that question, swallowing hard at the pondered answers… What if she was dead? What if she was hurt really bad? And dammit where was Itachi… did he kill him?

He had been face to face with Itachi in a strange red and black world where he was being tortured mentally, emotionally, and physically, and now he was in the hospital. He had no memory of the torture ending nor being brought to the hospital. Was the experience with Itachi even real? Did it even really happen? 

He was irritated! What had happened between being tortured and brought to the hospital? He didn't know; his mind was blank… And _where_ was Sakura? She'd been with him; Kisame had attacked her. He turned his head around the hospital room checking to see if anyone was there. He was alone.

He lowered his brow and threw out his lower lip in an angry impatient scowl. There was a tremendous gap in his memory, and no one was around to give him answers. Where was everybody? He didn't have time for this shit. And _how_ did he get in the hospital? _Where_ was Sakura? _Where_ was that bastard Itachi? He fisted his hands in barely contained anger and irritation.

"Gahhh." Naruto yelled. He was frustrated dammit! Where the hell was someone to explain things? Where the hell was anyone for that matter? _How_ did he get here? His mind was screaming for answers, and if someone didn't get in here and give him some soon his mouth was going to start screaming. He threw the hospital blanket aside and stood up.

"Ow. Ow. Ow." He grabbed at his head again. 'Damn,' he grit his teeth. 'I'd forgotten about that.' Naruto stood motionless, pressing the palm of his hand to his forehead in attempt to settle the blinding ache there. 'Damn… I've never had such a headache before… what _happened_?' he wondered for the _thousandth_ time, quickly reminding himself that he was irritated.

Sakura was _God_ knows where, Itachi was… was… well, that's what he'd _like_ to know, and he didn't know how in _God's_ name he'd gotten in the _damned_ hospital. 

Headache momentarily forgotten, Naruto stumped across the hospital room, threw open the door, and stepped into the hallway. There was a nurse standing about twenty feet away with a medicine cart. "Hey!" Naruto yelled and pointed. "Get Old Lady Tsunade here right away… or Kakashi-sensei… or the Perverted Hermit…" 

The nurse looked at Naruto in slack-mouthed disbelief. Staring, Naruto thought, rather stupidly. Anyone else would have realized that the poor nurse was most likely stunned at his casual, and not to respectful, use of the hokage's name, but Naruto just thought her intellectually challenged. Perhaps she couldn't understand him. "Get _somebody_ dammit! I need some answers!" His voice echoed down the hallway, reverberating obnoxiously against the painted stone walls.

Naruto nodded his head in satisfaction when he saw the nurse run off, presumably to do his bidding. She probably recognized that he was an important person; he was the hokage's favorite, the talented student of one of the sannin, not to mention he'd be hokage one day, that poor nurse probably couldn't have moved her feet fast enough to do his bidding.

Naruto sniffed importantly as self-praising thoughts went through his head. He reached down to arrogantly adjust his pants when he realized he wasn't wearing any pants… He was in a hospital robe! Oh he only hoped no one was standing behind him…

"Hehehe." Naruto's body stiffened as a snicker sounded somewhere behind him; it was a very familiar, very _female_ snicker… 'Sakura-chan.'

Sakura was behind him. He'd been looking for her; he'd been worried about her, and he was absolutely ecstatic that she was okay. However… he hadn't exactly imagined their meeting to include a direct view of his bare ass.

Naruto was red-faced; he could feel it. Sakura had seen a full view of his bare backside. He turned around slowly… He was looking forward to seeing her, to see if she was okay, and maybe he'd finally get some answers, but he was also dreading it because of the situation. Obviously she was amused by the situation; he could tell by her teasing snicker, but he was not. He was immensely embarrassed. Well, the only thing that would save his dignity, whatever was left of it, was to pretend that he wasn't at all embarrassed… or bothered.

Trying to look unruffled Naruto turned around, and sure enough there was Sakura, looking at him slightly flush-faced with a happy gleam in her eyes. She looked positively radiant, and happier than he'd seen her look in a long time. 'She was safe; she was okay.' He breathed a sigh of relief, bare ass momentarily forgotten, and waved with one hand while sheepishly scratching the back of his head with the other.

She gave him a smile, a real smile, one that actually reached her eyes. He'd almost melted; he didn't think he'd ever see that smile again… not like that anyway. He'd almost forgotten what it looked like, forgotten she even possessed such a smile. Was he the cause of it? Naruto's stomach did flip-flops at the very thought of it.

Naruto answered her luminous grin with a bright one of his own. "Sakura-chan!" He opened his mouth to ask what had happened when he saw her cover her mouth in a vain effort to hide near hysterical laughter.

Naruto could feel his face heat in embarrassed indignation; he was probably blushing two shades darker than before, if that was even possible. 'She could have at least _pretended_ she hadn't seen anything.' Naruto thought in annoyance. He was about ready to whine, beg, plead for her to let it drop when he heard someone loudly clearing their throat behind him… 'Not again!' Naruto mentally groaned.

"I heard a nurse complaining about an obnoxiously loud crude mannered patient… naturally I figured it was you… Naruto." The speaker coughed, trying to cover up a highly amused snigger. It failed, and soon both Sakura and the new speaker were outwardly laughing, any pretense of preserving his dignity gone. 

"AHHH! Kakashi-sensei! Sakura-chan! This-is-not-funny!" he shouted, trying hard to reprimand them, quiet them, make them see his crossness and embarrassment. Crossing his arms he frowned, waiting for their chastised reactions… it never came. They laughed harder; his frown deepened. 'Bastards.' He should have known. Throwing his hands in the air Naruto ran back into his hospital room to search for his pants.

Kakashi and Sakura watched Naruto leave in a huff and continued to laugh at his expense. Really they both should have controlled their mirth a bit better, but Naruto was so incensed it was hilarious and impossible to repress their humor. Both ninja's knew that if the situation were reversed Naruto would be rolling on the floor still throwing out sarcastic comments were it either of them exposed, so any guilt they felt was short lived.

Eventually their laughter faded into an awkward silence and both shifted their weight uncomfortably. Each wanted to say something, about the last couple of days, about Naruto, about anything just to break the unbearable silence. It was Kakashi who finally spoke.

"Have you told him anything?" Kakashi asked Sakura, his voice every bit the serious sensei.

She shook her head. "I'd only just found him", her face colored at the memory, "when you came". She kept seeing Naruto's bare backside; it was funny, but very embarrassing, and right now Sakura didn't feel much like laughing. Kakashi had shaken any lingering amusement from the moment reminding her of the conversation they were about to have with Naruto. She was dreading talking with him.

They needed to know what had happened between him and Itachi. According to Kakashi they had found him alone and unconscious on the forest floor. Itachi wasn't anywhere around. Sakura couldn't fill in any details; She was fighting Kisame at the time. The two ninja had been still, staring each other down, when she moved out of sight of them. She had been beaten to unconsciousness, and was unable to return to Naruto. The next time she saw him he was passed out in the hospital.

The two were quiet, both contemplating the conversation to come. The silence was awkward, neither knowing quite what to say, so they fidgeted waiting for Naruto to make himself decent.

Naruto huffed, searching his room for his clothes. It was obvious he couldn't have a serious conversation with them until he properly covered himself… Well, he couldn't really blame them; it would be hard for him to speak seriously with someone when their ass was smiling sideways at you. He grinned at that, and for some reason his mind wondered what Sasuke would have made of the situation.

"Sasuke," he whispered in a pained voice. He missed Sasuke. It was strange; he and Sasuke were both rude to each other, insulted each other, physically fought one another, and generally admitted that they couldn't stand each other, but they were the best of friends. Neither had realized just how close they'd gotten until their last fight two years ago. It was the last time Naruto saw Sasuke.

Unexpectedly his mind was assaulted with images of a tortured Sasuke, as if the mention of his name flipped a switch in his head, activated something. Sasuke was calling for him, asking for his help. Naruto could see and hear his dark-haired friend clearly. Feelings of despair, helplessness, sadness, anger, and fear exploded within his gut, tore at his insides, trying to come out in one single huge wave. Naruto fell to his knees, grasping his hospital gown, trying to rip it away from his chest as if it burned him. Tears fell freely down his face, as so much emotion flooded into him at once. He'd felt anguish like he'd never known before. He couldn't breath; his chest felt like it was going to explode. "Ahhhh!" He screamed. 'Make it stop!' He gripped his gown tighter. "Ahhhhh!" He anguishly cried out again.

He was being brutally emotionally assaulted, and it hurt… he was openly sobbing, rocking himself back and forth, hugging his knees tightly to his chest. "I'm so sorry Sasuke." He screwed his eyes shut gritting his teeth in self-loathing. "Forgive me Sasuke." He wept. "I wasn't strong enough."

"I'm sorry Sasuke." He sobbed to his tortured friend, watching as the Uchiha was hurt over and over again by Kabuto, Orochimaru… The snake and his minions laughed ruthlessly as they brought pain upon the young sharingan user.

"Forgive me Sasuke." He blubbered. He was shaking. He couldn't believe what was happening right in front of him. 'Stop. Please stop.' Naruto silently begged, for it to stop. Whether he wanted Sasuke to stop his tortured cries or for Orochimaru to stop hurting his friend he wasn't sure. Probably both. 

The Uchiha's pained cries for help sounded so accusing and desperate, as if the tortured boy didn't believe anyone would answer his cries. "I'm coming Sasuke."

Naruto watched in horror as Orochimaru fastened thick chains on Sasuke's wrists and neck, and began leading him away. All hope faded from the Uchiha's eyes, and he turned to follow the snake man, placing his back toward Naruto. "Don't go!" Naruto yelled. He felt so helpless. No matter what he said or did nothing could stop his friend's torture, and now Sasuke was leaving. All he could do was watch in dismay as Sasuke was brutally beaten, man-handled, led away, drained of hope…

"Wait!" Naruto cried to his friend, hoping Sasuke would hear him, hoping he would fight, but the boy never did. 'Shit.' He was losing him. He was losing Sasuke… again.

He desperately grabbed for his dark haired friend, his hands gripping only air. "Grrr," he growled angrily, frantically grabbing at the air. "Sasuke!" Naruto called for his friend, his brother.

"SASUKE!" He screamed pleadingly. His pleads were in vain, and Naruto watched helplessly as his friend faded from view.

"Sasuke." Naruto whispered terrified. He had lost his friend again; he hadn't been strong enough to save him. Sasuke was gone; he could no longer see him. His brother was gone… Naruto began sobbing anew. Sasuke was being tortured and hurt, and Naruto couldn't stop it. He hadn't been strong enough.

Naruto grit his teeth and clenched his fists, his anger at Orochimaru threatening to eat him alive. 'Bastard!' Naruto had wanted to rip out the freakish snake man's throat for at least two years now, and now his anger and hate toward the sannin were amplified many times over. He wanted to throttle him, bloody him… Naruto shook his head. There weren't enough violent thoughts to match how he felt, what he wanted to do to the snake.

Naruto was breathing hard; his body and mind were in traumatized shock, and he trembled with barely restrained rage. 'What the hell was that?' Naruto knew he'd been in his hospital room, searching for his pants when suddenly he was with Sasuke and Orochimaru…

Part of Naruto knew that some trick was or had been played on him, but another part felt the realness of the visions he saw and refused to believe they weren't true. He was so shaken. The images disturbed him so deeply he couldn't help but let them affect him. False or not, those visions touched on his worst fears, his weaknesses, and that was frightening.

His vision was black, and the atmosphere around him was silent save for a soft female voice calling his name. He tried to calm his breathing, to reply to that voice, when his mind was assaulted again by haunting images! "Ahhhh!"

Naruto didn't know how long he'd suffered from the visions. He must have passed out or something, because he felt himself wakening, the visions lingering like a night full of terrible nightmares. He felt so drained of everything, strength, confidence, hope… He fought the sudden irresistible urge to weep, and almost lost the fight until a beautiful voice cut through his dark thoughts. 'Sakura.'

Dazedly he looked into a pair of green eyes. He stared at them waiting to comprehend if she were real or a really pleasant dream. Her eyes held so much emotion. Naruto saw the worry in them, and he knew she was real. All strife immediately fled him and a soothing peace settled into him from the sight of her.

Sasuke had not been real.

'Sasuke.' At the thought of his best friend, all those horrific visions and feelings flooded back into him. 'Oh God… Sakura… I'm sorry.' She had loved the Uchiha so much; she had counted on him to help her, to help Sasuke… He'd failed.

"I wasn't strong enough." He whispered as if he were informing her of an incredible revelation, something he should have told her before but was too ashamed to admit.

"Sakura." Naruto whispered, looking deep into her lovely eyes, willing her to see the honesty in his own. "I'm sorry." And he was. He'd promised to bring Sasuke back to her, and he'd failed.

Sometimes he'd had nightmares about Sasuke in Orochimaru's hands, being tortured or irrevocably turned evil, but never had he experienced something like these visions. The experience had felt so painful, so heart wrenching, so terrible, so… real. He'd really thought he was seeing Sasuke tortured. He'd really heard his voice, seen Orochimaru…

Naruto shuddered. He couldn't bring himself to look away from Sakura. He was terrified to look away from her. He didn't want to fall back into that false world of nightmarish images. Sakura's eyes were reality. She was reality, and that's what he needed right now… reality.

Sakura ignored Naruto's apology, not knowing what to make of it yet.

"Naruto? Are you okay?" She asked sounding worried and very concerned. Her voice was breathy as if she feared he might not be okay.

That simple question, 'are you okay', triggered Naruto's thoughts, which began mumbling incoherently. Feelings he'd been trying to suppress came back to him in a torrent of emotions. He had wondered himself if he'd be okay. Those visions had caused him despair and doubt like he'd never known before. He was shaken to the core. He couldn't answer her; he didn't know himself, and for the first time he actually needed to think.

'Was he okay? Could he ever be okay again?' Naruto wondered.

Sakura and Kakashi had rushed through the door at the sound of his agonized scream. They'd found him unconscious, in a deep trance, or something like it. He'd been unresponsive to their voices and touch. She had called to him, screamed at him; Kakashi shook him, slapped him…

Sakura had begun to fear he wouldn't come around when she'd heard his breathing even. He'd fallen asleep. 'Thank God.'

After Naruto had fallen asleep, Kakashi ran to fetch the hokage. He'd suggested that Sakura go and he stay behind, but she had refused to leave her blond friend. So Kakashi had fled the hospital room, returning within minutes, buxom blond in tow.

Sakura was worried for her blond friend. From what the hokage could tell, Naruto had been emotionally and mentally exhausted. It had taken all the energy he'd had not to succumb to the mental assault. The female sannin had told Sakura and Kakashi that the incident could have killed Naruto, broken his mind, or one of the worst, broken his spirit.

Naruto had slept the whole day and night; Sakura sat by his side the entire time, waiting for him to wake up. She had feared he may not rouse, but Tsunade had assured her he'd come around, she only hoped he'd awake unchanged.

Tsunade couldn't cure Naruto. She couldn't delve deep enough into his mind to see just how much damage was done, let alone to mend it. She'd claimed that a strong force was blocking her entrance, a force she was quite sure wasn't Naruto… She'd said it was the Kyuubi.

Holding Naruto's hand in her own, Sakura began to weep. She couldn't imagine Naruto with a broken spirit. She could almost accept the other terrible scenarios as long as she didn't have to see him with a broken spirit. A dead Naruto would be better. His spirit was the best part of him; it was what made him who he was.

Sitting by Naruto's side, refusing to sleep, Sakura had several hours of quiet to ponder matters. Not that she wanted to, but after awhile the solitude forced her mind into action.

She tapped her foot in nervous agitation, the hokage's diagnosis ringing in her head. 'Only the sharingan can cause this kind of damage.' How confusing. Sakura knew two facts right now: one, she agreed with Tsunade's assessment of Naruto's injury, and two it was impossible that a sharingan was present to do this to Naruto. Each certainty contradicted the other, and that confused the hell out of her.

To be affected by the sharingan the way Naruto was, the user had to be making eye contact with him at the time. But Kakashi and herself were right outside his door; they were with him for nearly the whole experience and no one had eye contact with him. No one else was even in the room.

It was also impossible that the damage was done before he was ever brought to the hospital. Tsunade had examined him when he first arrived. He'd been unconscious, but fine. Not to mention both she and Kakashi had talked to him just moments before the mysterious attack and he'd been his old self.

Sakura knew her mentor's assessment of Naruto was correct; Tsunade had seen injuries like this before when Kakashi and Sasuke were assaulted by Itachi. She'd even cured them, so what was the answer. How did this happen?


	5. Untitled

Disclaimer: Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

**Terms**: Most of you already know these. I'll explain them as I mean them, or know them. There may be more literal meanings, but that really doesn't matter to me. As long as we have the basic idea. **kunoichi**-female ninja; **Tsukuyomi (Kaleidoscope)**-Technique used by Itachi, means god of the moon, or moon phase; **mangekyou**-advanced sharingan level; **ototou**-little brother; **jutsu**-technique; **Kyuubi**-nine tails demon fox

Chapter 4: Untitled

Opening:

The 'giant snake scare' that had occurred near a month ago, had caused quite a ruckus in the Leaf village. The sighting of a giant snake lead to the belief that Orochimaru was coming to destroy Konoha, to finish what he'd begun two years ago. A frantic search for the Hokage began, troops were being marshaled, and preparations for securing the villagers were underway. It was a giant disorganized mass of organization.

Scouts were sent out to get a better idea of what they would be dealing with. Their orders were to get numbers and locations of enemy ninja, but ultimately it was the bringing in of one injured girl, Haruno Sakura, that helped clarify what in the world was going on.

As soon as the name Itachi fell from her lips, the Hokage and ANBU were summoned. Sakura was brought to the hospital and questioned while the staff worked to assess her injuries.

She'd confessed that Uchiha Sasuke had saved her from the Akatsuki member Kisame. The gate guards confirmed her story saying that a man resembling Sasuke had indeed brought her to the gates. Her story also indicated that Itachi might have taken Naruto.

She knew they had confronted each other, but that was the last she knew. Her fight with Kisame had lead her away from her blond friend.

Scouts had scoured the forests around Konoha far, wide, and deep. They returned with Kisame's body, but no sign of enemy shinobi, Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi, or Naruto.

All evidence, or lack thereof, suggested that there was not an Orochimaru attack. The giant snake was determined to have been Sasuke's doing and he was nowhere to be found. No other enemy had been spotted, nor was there any sign of any having been, at least not in invasion numbers anyway. There was definitely evidence that a huge fight had taken place around where the snake was spotted.

The gathered troops needed only to be sent out to look for the three missing ninja. The number one priority was to find Naruto. If anyone came across either of the Uchihas they were to attempt capture only if they were properly equipped, but none had been that lucky or… unlucky.

Naruto had been found alone and unconscious. Knowing Itachi had attacked him; Tsunade immediately scanned his mind for injuries. Strangely it was found intact, but his body was severely exhausted, and had begun to degrade. He'd remained unconscious for at least three weeks, his body and mind needing the rest.

Everyone, Tsunade and Naruto's friends, had rejoiced when they heard he'd awoken, but that joy was short lived. An attack the likes of which could only be described as "latent torture", assaulted Naruto's mind almost as soon as he woke up, and it quickly rendered him unconscious again.

During Naruto's second unconscious bout, Tsunade did another mind scan finding there was indeed trauma there. It was strangely disturbing to find no trauma the first time, and a lot of it the second. To the best of her knowledge, which was extensive, she knew of no possible way this could happen without outside influence.

Regardless of endless questions with no answers, she worked hard to heal the damage, knowing that when Naruto awoke he might be able to answers her many queries. Oddly enough she had found spots already in the process of healing. Naruto had been healing himself, or more appropriately the Kyuubi had probably been.

Tsunade's healing had been successful, further examinations showed no further sign of mental trauma. Now she only needed to wait for her favorite villager to wake up, and hope he hadn't suffered much emotional damage. Tsukuyomi could be so damaging on one's confidence…

A few more days rest found Naruto conscious again, and in a very sour mood. Tsunade greeted him happily as did Sakura and Kakashi. They cared nothing for his mood, good or bad they were ecstatic to see him alive and well. They had all been dying to question Naruto, to know what the hell happened.

While Naruto was unconscious, he'd actually had a conversation with the Kyuubi. The nine tails had explained away Naruto's memory gaps, and the latent torture, and how Itachi got away. The Kyuubi had explained to Naruto, and Naruto related the tale to them.

All their speculations couldn't even compare to the truth of what happened, and as Naruto related the tale as best he could his friends were reminded of just how 'special' Naruto was.

* * *

Itachi could feel Sasori's eyes on him for the thousandth time today. It was the first time he'd seen the other Akatsuki members since he came back from the Kyuubi encounter. They were all randomly shooting him looks… they were curious.

None would ask him outright what exactly had went on that day, but he could tell from their 'I'm not staring at you' looks that they wanted more information. They wanted details. He mentally shrugged. The outcome was what it was, details wouldn't change a thing.

It had been weeks since Itachi had fought the Kyuubi's vessel, and still he wasn't fully recovered. His plan had been to expose the blond boy to Tsukuyomi long enough to render him unconscious, but not kill him. It didn't matter if the kid was harmed in the process; he only needed to be alive, alive long enough for Akatsuki to rip the nine tails from him, nothing more.

Itachi's plan didn't quite work out as he'd hoped, and inconveniently Itachi had been the one to almost die. 

It had seemed such a full proof plan… simple but effective. Itachi would render the yellow haired shinobi helpless while Kisame watched his back.

The two Akatsuki couldn't believe their good fortune. Naruto was virtually unprotected. Konoha knew Akatsuki, a very dangerous organization, wanted Naruto and here the boy was… utterly defenseless. At the very least Itachi had expected the village to send Kakashi or someone else of his stature to accompany Naruto when they finally got the brass to send him on a mission, but surprisingly he was with a single girl companion. It was either a testament to Konaha's confidence in the two shinobi, or it's ignorance and stupidity. Itachi favored the latter.

It had seemed overkill having Kisame with him when they found only Naruto and a pink-haired girl trodding through the forest. Surely the kunoichi wouldn't be a problem for Kisame, and Naruto… well Naruto shouldn't be a problem, not with Tsukuyomi anyway.

'I thought the boy defenseless, and yet I was defeated.' Itachi wasn't really bothered or surprised by his defeat, at least not where conventional emotions were concerned. He certainly hadn't expected to be defeated, but he was, and that was that. 'It happened how it happened.' He wasn't angry or upset, and he certainly wasn't confused. He knew exactly how he got beat.

He wasn't surprised when the blond ninja collapsed under the influence of Tsukuyomi; that was part of the plan. Naruto was not equipped to fight such a technique; he wasn't a sharingan user, and he wasn't an Uchiha.

Itachi had physically tortured Naruto, much like he had Kakashi, but the yellow haired boy proved to be quite resilient to that. Not because he was a mental giant that fought the illusion, but because he could withstand a lot of physical pain. Itachi found a challenge in that, in Naruto's strength.

There weren't very many things Itachi loved, but he did love a challenge. He'd always found too few things that really tested his strengths and abilities; everything always seemed too easy. He knew one day Sasuke would become his ultimate challenge, or at least he hoped so, but until that day he never thought he'd find anything that would interest him. Now there was Naruto.

If he couldn't easily break the fox demon kid through physical torture, then he'd torment him emotionally. It was like a great game, 'try to find the fastest way to break Naruto'.

It was only slightly humorous that Naruto's weakest point was his brother, Sasuke. The boy had very strong emotions toward his ototou, anger, jealousy, love, hate… It was all there. There was a buffet of torture points to explore in Naruto's mind, at least where Sasuke was concerned.

Strangely Naruto thought himself better than Sasuke, or so it looked in his mind. Though it was so masked by a need for recognition that maybe Naruto himself didn't even know it was there. It was as if Naruto needed everyone around him to see it, say it, and show it, or it just didn't exist. If Itachi had to sum it up he'd say that Naruto needed everyone around him to acknowledge in some way that he was better than Sasuke. Naruto thought he was, but it didn't matter unless everyone else saw too.

This Naruto was a strange fellow. He thought very highly of himself, and yet he wanted to pound Sasuke, a boy he called friend, in every way to catapult his own reputation to the top. 'How delightfully hypocritical.' If Itachi was the smirking type he might have done so at that. 'Maybe Naruto is really an Uchiha and just doesn't know it.' He certainly was ambitious enough; he just lacked the brainpower. His mind just seemed so… simple. Yes, that was the perfect description for Naruto… simple.

The older Uchiha had selectively plucked out Naruto's thoughts, recollections, and dreams and played with them. It was a simple thing really. He made all of Naruto's rights seem wrong, all of his dreams seem like selfish wants, all of his accomplishments seem like failures… the list went on and on. It turned out Naruto was much more fragile emotionally than physically, and passed out way too soon for Itachi's liking. It had been a fun but very short-lived game.

Itachi had felt Naruto's mind collapse, felt him lose consciousness, but he couldn't pull away from the blond boy's mind. He couldn't end his own jutsu. The tortuous images were still flooding out of him and into the boy, but mentally the boy wasn't there. It was unexplainable. That was when it had happened.

A sinister laugh had sounded in his mind. It was a deep, menacing, growl-like sound that vibrated throughout his thoughts, and then the torturous images were flooding out of him so fast they felt like they were being ripped away. It was so hard to explain, but he was being held in his own jutsu, like something had grabbed onto it and didn't want to let go. He couldn't help but wonder who or what would want that, and then it hit him… it was the Kyuubi.

The Kyuubi had come out to fight for its vessel. It had surfaced when Naruto passed out, and now it was forcing Itachi to stay in a jutsu that used a lot of chakra. The fox had taunted him with his powerful voice and awesome presence, tried to physically manhandle him, torture him. Had Itachi not known everything was happening in his mind he'd have died, and the Kyuubi's tactics would have worked, but Itachi was too familiar with Tsukuyomi to be affected by it.

As it was, the Kyuubi didn't need to physically fight him, or mentally torture him, just forcing him to indefinitely use his jutsu was causing enough damage. It was such a chakra and mental concentration demanding technique that to hold it too long or use it too much was to cause death, and the Kyuubi knew this. The demon fox was only trying to have _fun_ with him by trying the other tactics.

Itachi and the Kyuubi had wrestled back and forth to control time and space in Tsukuyomi. Time was speeding up, then slowing down, then seemingly froze… Every now and then, the Kyuubi would show his physical self, tower over Itachi, growl menacingly… The nine tails was a frighteningly impressive sight. It took incredible confidence and will power not to give in to the demons intimidations, but Itachi had done it. His face remained impassive through the entire ordeal though there were times he felt anything but…

It hadn't taken very long, though it had felt like an eternity, before Itachi felt himself grow dangerously tired. He was being drained of all of his energy at an astonishing rate and soon would be unconscious.

Itachi had awoken on the forest floor; across from him lie the unconscious form of Naruto. So, the fight was more difficult than he thought, but it appeared he'd still get the prize after all.

Itachi gained his feet, and threw his senses out… He could hear and sense several ninja converging on the area where he and the boy lay. How long had he been out?

He hurried to Naruto and bent to pick the boy up when a huge burst of red chakra exploded around the blond, throwing Itachi back a few paces. He landed on the ground… hard. Before he could gain his footing the approaching nins he'd sensed were right on top of his location.

He barely got away before the Leaf shinobi burst through the trees and rushed to Naruto's side.

Naruto had been lucky… very lucky, but now that Itachi knew what to expect he wouldn't be next time, and there _would_ be a next time… soon. Itachi couldn't wait.

* * *

Jiraiya was getting slightly worried. This conversation was beginning to sound like a sales pitch. Obviously Tsunade was going to ask something of him, or she was going to do something she was afraid he wouldn't approve of. "High paying missions, mostly A and B rank, are not coming in like usual. They're dwindling and have been since Orochimaru attacked. We're not fully recovered yet. This lack of income is seriously starting to hurt the rebuilding." 

"Oh yes, that is a problem." Jiraiya dutifully stated. His long time friend wasn't looking for advice… yet. So he commented where necessary but otherwise didn't really say anything.

"I suspect Orochimaru has something to do with our lack of high paying missions, and I think this is just the beginning." She paused, studying her fellow sannin for a moment, looking him in the eyes to ensure his attentiveness. "This village will continue to decline if things keep as they are. There have already been reports of suspicious behavior from other villages, behavior that points to them taking advantage of us." Once again she paused for effect, pointing to a stack of papers on her desk to show the evidence. "They can see our imminent decline. No tough missions, leads to weak shinobi, leads to no protection, leads to attack, and since there's no good income we won't even be able to hire outside protection." She never took her eyes from his.

Oh yes, Jiraiya was _definitely_ not liking this conversation. She was getting more saleswoman by the minute, and that meant he _really_ wasn't going to like what was inevitably coming. "So what do you plan on doing about it?" He asked, still keeping his voice calm, belying what he felt.

"Orochimaru has gained a lot of power and influence in these last two years. Spies report that the reputation of his ninja is unsurpassed. He's quickly becoming the first choice of anyone who needs a very tough mission done. Word is spreading that his assassins are far better than the Leaf's or Sand's."

Jiraiya sighed. "Yea, I heard the same. I was hoping I was misinformed."

"No, you weren't. He's gained this reputation on deeds. Any client he's had swears by his ninja. Apparently they're so pleased they can't help spreading the good word." Her voice dripped with sarcasm at this last bit. "I've had spies look into it, and they're all legit. His clients are genuinely happy." 

"So what do you plan on doing?" He asked again. 'More importantly what do you want from me?'

"We'll need to take Orochimaru down… soon. We can start with getting rid of some of his more skilled ninja." She looked at Jiraiya, eyes near pleading with him to understand what she was saying.

The frog hermit saw the beseeching in her eyes. He knew what she meant, and it was something she was dreading. She didn't even want to say it out loud lest it make it more real. Well, he'd say it for her. "Sasuke… You want to take out Sasuke as well as any other Sound nins, and you're worried about Naruto understanding."

"Sort of… Jiraiya…" She was silent for a moment. "I want to send Naruto after Sasuke." There she said it.

Jiraiya's eyebrows shot into the air. "By go after him what exactly do you mean?" He snapped, a bit rougher than he meant to. He was trying to hold his anger until he heard her out a bit more.

"Sasuke's too much of an asset for Orochimaru. He has grown too strong to leave under our greatest enemy's control. Taking out Sasuke would be a big blow to our ex comrade, and gaining him back would be a big gain for us. Either way we benefit and Orochimaru loses."

Tsunade had to acknowledge the Uchiha's newfound strength. Sakura had been beaten pretty badly by Kisame, and Sasuke had killed him with enough stamina and energy left over to carry her student to the city gates and speed his way out of the Fire territory.

Tsunade had been training Sakura for two years now, and she knew her student was a very strong fighter, surpassing all of her expectations. She'd never had an apprentice that could begin to compete with the pink haired girl's strength and skill, and she hadn't even managed to scratch the shark Akatsuki… and Sasuke had killed him. It was disturbing. 

Thankfully Sakura's worst injuries were cracked ribs and a concussion, though the bruises and scrapes she had practically covered her entire body. Thanks to Tsunade and Shizune, it had only taken Sakura two weeks to recover physically, but mentally she was upset with what she considered her weakness. Losing so horribly against Kisame had crushed Sakura's newfound confidence. It was her first real fight since her training with Tsunade, and she was utterly pounded. Her teacher hated the defeat she heard in Sakura's voice when she talked about the encounter.

Tsunade didn't like having this powerful of a ninja in Orochimaru's hands. The Uchiha clan had been revered everywhere, not just in the Leaf village, as one of the strongest and most feared. The secrets of that clan were buried deep, and not many, if any, understood their full potential. Who knew what Sasuke might become if left unchecked for too much longer. There was already one Uchiha monster on the loose… they didn't need another.

Itachi was proof of what a genius Uchiha was capable of becoming, and he was a frightening force, killing the entire powerful Uchiha clan by himself. God only knew if it was possible for Sasuke to surpass him, but it was a frightening thought she was forced to consider.

Saleswoman again. Jiraiya watched her face as she fell into dire thought. She was trying to justify her decision, mostly to herself he figured. She cared about his feelings, but only to a point. In the end she had to know she made the right choice for herself. "Tsunade. What do you want Naruto to do?" He spoke sternly, like an adult to a child, wanting some straight answers, no more dancing around.

"I want Naruto to bring Sasuke back… or… kill him." They both knew he'd most likely have to kill the boy. She leveled her gaze at him, saying so much in that one look. 'Naruto won't want to kill Sasuke, but too bad. He's a ninja, and sometimes we have to do things we don't like for our village.'

'I don't want to have Sasuke killed. I am supposed to protect him. I was supposed to protect him from Orochimaru, but this is about the survival and safety of the whole village.' The village must come before one boy, or even two boys for that matter.

Orochimaru was slowly killing her village, the village she swore to protect. Tsunade couldn't help but feel that Sasuke had a lot to do with the snake's success. Orochimaru had to be stopped. She wasn't going let Konoha fall on her watch. She needed to hit her ex teammate fast and hard, send him a sign that she's on to him. Let him know he won't succeed. Sasuke would be the first and biggest blow in a long drawn out war.

"Why Naruto? He's barely recovered from his last Uchiha encounter. " Jiraiya asked, pulling Tsunade from her musings, spitting the word Uchiha like it were poison. 

He didn't like Naruto's odds. Akatsuki was still after him; Itachi would be back more prepared, and now he'd have to deal with Orochimaru and his lackeys, one of which, Sasuke, just killed an Akatsuki. _That_ was a lot.

He'd prepared Naruto as best as he could, and he had great faith in his strength, but these were more than just battle -hardened ninja he'd be dealing with. Orochimaru's men would be far more experienced with real life dangerous missions than Naruto, and it went without saying that Akatsuki members were basically mass murderers.

Naruto hadn't even killed anyone yet, and he knew his softhearted student would not easily make that decision. Hesitation in real battle could mean death. He wasn't ready for this on his own. "Who will you send with him?"

"I chose Naruto because of the recent Itachi incident. Because of the Kyuubi he's proven he can survive the sharingan's most deadly attack." The Kyuubi had protected him and healed him. He was the best choice.

"I wouldn't say unconscious, possible psychological damage, suffering, and just being alive really counts as resiliency. Not to mention--"

"He won't be alone." She shot out quickly, circumventing Jiraiya's rant. "He'll be under Kakashi's command."

I'm giving you a few more months to train Naruto; I will continue to train Sakura, and then they go back to Kakashi. Under his command they will go after Sasuke."

I'm hoping with the Kyuubi Naruto can immobilize Sasuke while the other two get him, or something like that." 

Jiraiya was quiet. He was upset. This plan did not sound solid enough to him.

Tsunade could see her friend was silently seething. He was not happy, nor did he agree. She'd have to do some more convincing. "Don't forget, Kakashi has the sharingan too. Those three should be able to handle him.

I'm going to send along another gennin too, but I haven't decided who yet."

Jiraiya was still silent, unswayed. Perhaps what she said made sense, but he didn't like it… not at all. The fact that Kakashi would be with him gave him some comfort, but not enough. Caught between Akatsuki and Orochimaru was not where he wanted to see his favorite student.

He knew Akatsuki was gunning for Orochimaru, and that Orochimaru had designs on Akatsuki. Each wanted to destroy the other. Jiraiya didn't know why they did, but at this point it didn't really matter. Reasons would not change facts.

Tsunade sighed, seeing Jiraiya's inner struggle. He was trying to accept her choice, in his own way, but she could see letting go of Naruto was hard on him. "It's our best hope Jiraiya. I don't enjoy sending Naruto on such a mission either, but he is the most logical choice… Remember, he was Sasuke's friend at one point in time. He'd be our best chance at retrieving Sasuke alive… Besides, do you want to be the one to tell him that he can't go on this mission, tell him you're sending someone to kill Sasuke?"

Jiraiya sighed. She made sense. As bad as the plan was, and as much as he didn't like it, it was the best they had. And Naruto certainly would be pissed off if he found out that he couldn't go on this mission. He'd do everything in his power to ensure that Sasuke was brought back alive. Not that Jiraiya agreed with that, but Naruto was Naruto, and he'd do what he wanted…


	6. More Than I Can Take

**Terms**: Just one. **dato**-ninja long sword, slightly curved.

**Warning:**Once again, as a courtesy, I'm reminding readers that this story is rated M (NC 17). This chapter contains sexual situations, and may have blood and violence, swearing… but then that is to be expected with this rating, right?

**Disclaimer**: Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

Chapter 5: More Than I Can Take

"Sakura…" He whispered against her ear. His hot breath lightly ghosting against the sensitive skin of her neck giving her goose bumps of pleasure.

'God.' She shivered; her name dripped from his mouth like liquid sex. She twined her fingers in his luxurious ebony hair. She'd always wanted to touch his hair.

He grazed the shell of her ear with his nose, traced the line of her pulse with his breath. "Sakura…" He breathed heavily against the soft skin of her collarbone. "I want you."

She whimpered in want. He was teasing her with the barest of touches. She fisted handfuls of his hair in vain effort to pull his mouth to hers. She wanted him, needed him, needed to touch him, to feel him, needed him to touch her. "Please." She cried.

He resisted and smirked at her struggle, bringing his mouth within a centimeter of hers.

She gasped at his smirk; he looked so damned sexy. "Sasuke please." She begged, touching her lips to his in a fevered kiss.

He pressed her against him possessively, needing his fingers into her back, answering her kiss, open-mouthed, hungrily…

"Mmm." She moaned. His warm breath teased the inside of her mouth.

He sucked her bottom lip as he pulled away. "I thought you were mine Sakura… I thought you'd always be mine." He traced her lips seductively with his tongue.

'What? What a silly question.' She thought, inwardly shocked at the thought that she belonged to anyone but him. "I'm yours Sasuke… always." He looked deeply into her eyes. Those onyx orbs seemed to cut right through her. They were intense, and she thought them the most erotic part of him.

He kissed her fiercely and passionately, his tongue delving deep into her mouth. "Nghh. God Sakura. You taste so good." He groaned into her mouth.

Sakura clawed down his chest, fisting the hem of his shirt in her hands. He pushed her against the wall pressing the full length of his body against her. She lifted her legs, and he gripped her thighs as she wrapped them around him possessively. He ground his hips forward. "Oh God Sasuke." He felt so fucking good. Their kiss became frenzied and feverish, tongues delving deep…

She wanted him so badly. She'd always wanted him. She loved him. "I want you Sasuke… now." She hissed, yanking on his shirt, trying to rip it off him. She didn't care; she wanted to see the body she'd dreamt about for so many nights.

_Thump. Thump. Thump. _

Sakura jumped at the loud booming. 'What the hell was that?' She sat up on her bed, dazed, confused… "Sasuke?" She looked around, and suddenly tears came to her eyes. It had been a dream.

Sasuke wasn't there. He never was. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling the tears come faster, and collapsed back on the bed, sobbing.

_Thump. Thump. Thump. _

"Unnn." Sakura groaned, wiping her eyes. Someone, at least the tenth person that day, pounded on the door to her apartment. 'So that's what woke me.'

She didn't move to answer the door, but sat debating whether or not she'd reply to the knock. People had been knocking on her door near constant since her dramatic return to the village, and she'd avoided them all, even Ino.

It was all over Konoha that _the_ Uchiha Sasuke had saved her, the Hokage's student, and actually dropped her off on the doorstep of the very village he'd abandoned. It was juicy news to her peers and townspeople. Sakura had become the village celebrity because of it. The fact that one of the most powerful and most wanted criminals was killed only fanned everyone's flames of curiosity.

She couldn't walk anywhere without at least five people accosting her with questions. 'Was he as handsome as ever? Did he really rescue you? Was it really Sasuke? Are you secret lovers? Did he really kill Kisame? Were you really carried to the village gates by him?' Ridiculous and incredibly personal questions were thrown at her every time she stepped outside her door.

_Thump. Thump. Thump. _

Pissed off at the presumptuousness of people, she opted to ignore the knock. She had to deal with all their bantering when she left the house she certainly wasn't going to let them start bothering her at home. She'd ignored every knock before this, and she'd continue ignoring them. In her mind it was small revenge for their gossip mongering.

When she'd seen Naruto earlier, and told him of Sasuke's rescue of her, he became real quiet. He didn't really seem to want to talk about it, and if she didn't know any better she'd have thought he wasn't happy to hear news of Sasuke. His attitude seemed so… weird. She couldn't quite describe it.

Any happiness Naruto had shown over hearing Sasuke was alive and well seemed… feigned. He didn't seem like the same Naruto she knew, and she couldn't help but wonder if Itachi's torture of him had something to do with it. Perhaps he just hadn't felt well, or maybe she was just imagining things. What did it matter anyway? Sasuke was gone… again.

She didn't know why people couldn't just leave her alone. Oh she understood why the whole of Konoha was in an uproar over the Kisame/Itachi incident, but she was tired of dealing with it. Well, she hadn't _really_ dealt with it, because she really hadn't spoken to anyone about it. She didn't want to talk to anyone about it either. The only one she wanted to talk to was Naruto, and apparently he was the only one that _didn't_ want to hear it.

Normally she'd be screaming in her happiest voice that Sasuke had rescued her, carried her, risked his life for her… well, she didn't know for sure if he'd risked his life, but being as he fought Kisame she assumed it had been life threatening, but she didn't want to give birth to false hopes. Besides, it wouldn't have been fair to Naruto.

She and Naruto had been dating for the past year. How would he feel about her gushing over Sasuke's rescue of her? Of course before Sasuke's departure two years ago she'd have gushed in front of Naruto to her heart's content, regardless of Naruto's crush on her, but back then it was different. Back then she wasn't Naruto's girlfriend, nor would she have been.

Sakura loved Naruto. He'd always been there for her, would do anything for her regardless of the cost to himself. He was a good friend, and he'd grown easier on the eyes this past couple of years. She'd been tired of wanting Sasuke, not because she _didn't_ want him anymore, but because she wanted him _too_ much.

Uchiha Sasuke had consumed her thoughts and dreams, and the wanting had grown unbearable. Naruto seemed like he could make the wanting go away, so she began dating him. After all, he was loaded with good qualities, what girl wouldn't want him right? Ignoring the pang in her chest as she thought this, Sakura smiled, thinking of a future with Naruto.

Her logical mind rejoiced at her love proclamation of Naruto, but her heart cried. Her heart longed for Sasuke. It always had, and probably always would, it didn't understand things like logic or common sense; those things weren't romantic. What it did understand were intense black eyes, ruffled raven hair, the Uchiha's deep sultry voice…

"Sasuke." She whispered breathily, wishing he were here with her. She hugged her pillow tight to her chest, imagining it was him she was embracing.

Four weeks ago she'd seen her childhood infatuation for the first time in two years, and since then her mind had been obsessing over him. Thoughts of Uchiha Sasuke, the boy become man, plagued her nearly every waking and sleeping moment.

Her mind kept recalling his matured face when she first woke from the Kisame ordeal, his lithe muscular form as he walked away after leaving her at the Konoha gates, his dark eyes as they met hers for the first time in two years. She felt her pulse begin to race. If the years had been kind to Naruto in looks, they'd absolutely blessed Sasuke.

His hair was a bit longer but not much unchanged, it was less spiky in the back, but it was still a dark unruly masterpiece that fell enticingly into his eyes.

As her mind pondered the older Sasuke, she couldn't help but wonder what life under Orochimaru had been like for him. What things had he done under Orochimaru's command, how was he treated, was he happy…

She remembered watching him stalk away from the Konoha gates. He was a sinewy figure clad in all black, a dato with a red and black hilt strapped to his back. His movements were smooth and graceful. Were he not a man Sakura would have thought him a panther. His steps were effortlessly light and utterly silent, graceful yet menacing. At the time he gave her the impression of death in motion, a perfect killing creature… dangerous.

At that moment, she knew Kisame's fate. She knew Sasuke had done more than defeat him; he'd killed him. She didn't look, didn't ask, she just knew. She shivered with not a little amount of fear. 'This is a different Sasuke than the one I knew.'

In the old days when team seven was whole, she couldn't imagine any of them killing an opponent, disabling, knocking out, tying up, crippling maybe, but never killing. Suddenly she got a clear idea of what life under Orochimaru must be like.

Sasuke had probably killed many men and women in the last two years, and his field experience must far outweigh hers and Naruto's. He had killed Kisame, and she couldn't even lay a finger on the ugly shark.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

"Leave me alone!" She screamed.

'Dammit!' Inner Sakura yelled, angry and annoyed.

Whoever it was sure was persistent. Well she could be more stubborn too. Let them see just how immovable Haruno Sakura could be.

She briefly entertained the idea of pounding the one knocking on her door. She certainly was thinking she could bring herself to commit murder if she heard one more knock.

She remembered wanting to pound Kisame too. Wondering now if she could have actually killed him had she been able to defeat him. Sakura couldn't believe her nerve even pondering such a thing. She didn't even scratch the shark Akatsuki and she was pondering murdering him. 'That turned out well.'

As far as real battle experience, Sakura had next to none. She'd spent the last two years training with Tsunade. She'd worked harder in those two years than in her whole academy term.

She was very powerful, and her physical strength matched that of her mentor, but it did her no good against the seasoned Akatsuki. She was a novice fighter with potent skills… Kisame had defeated her ruthlessly fast.

Practice was so _different_ from the real thing. The shark man had somehow depleted her chakra time and time again; she wasn't able to use any of her jutsus. He dodged every attempt she made to pound him with her superior strength, and always managed to counter with that damned club thingy.

Naruto hadn't faired much better against Itachi. The damage he'd done to the older Uchiha could all be attributed to the Kyuubi. If it hadn't been for the fox demon, Naruto would be in Akatsuki's hands right now.

They'd both been defeated easily. Granted, they were up against extremely powerful opponents, and normally she'd feel they were just lucky to be alive, but… Sasuke had beaten one of them.

She'd worked so hard to become stronger, to gain enormous strength to get Sasuke back. She and Naruto had both worked so hard, and they had both gained so much in the way of chakra control, new jutsus, and strength, but the fight with the two Akatsuki grossly highlighted their shortcoming… battle experience.

Them… save Sasuke? What a joke! As far as she could tell now, he was more capable of breaking himself free, than she or Naruto were to save him.

'What a wake-up call. I feel so foolish now, thinking that training under Tsunade-sama would make me such a dangerous opponent.' Sure, it helped in its own small way, but she'd bet a much weaker ninja with a lot more battle experience could take her and her fancy techniques down.

She still hadn't even killed anyone, and as far as she knew neither had Naruto. Not that that was a bad thing, or something to look forward to, but she wondered if either one of them would be able to bring themselves to actually commit the deed should the need arise. Nearly eighteen years old, and she was still green as far as ninjas went.

_THUMP. THUMP. THUMP._

'Bastards. I won't answer.' She opened her bedroom window, sneaking out into the street. She needed to get away, needed to see Naruto, needed him to erase the painful need she was feeling for Sasuke. She needed him to make her forget.


	7. Haunted

**Warning:**Once again, as a courtesy, I'm reminding readers that this story is rated M (NC 17). This chapter may contain sexual situations, blood and violence, swearing… but then that is to be expected with this rating, right?

**Disclaimer**: Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

Chapter 6: Haunted

Naruto did not often ponder things very long… if at all. It wasn't in his nature; things were either right or wrong, black or white, good or bad, and it was that simple. That had always been his philosophy on things… until now.

Naruto sat on his hospital bed, lower lip stuck out, face resting in his right palm, pouting. He was hurt, irritated, confused, and mad, and the fact that he felt all those things just caused him more distress. He was a roil of emotions, his mind was befuddled with conflicting theories… He was a mess, and there were two people to blame for that… Itachi and _Sasuke_.

"Damn you Itachi." Naruto hissed in irritated anger. He couldn't curse the genius ninja enough. The older Uchiha was a great shinobi, and it irritated Naruto to admit it but there was no denying it; Sasuke's look-alike was one _hell_ of a good ninja. That insufferable Itachi had left him feeling so perplexed and self-questioning it was disturbing; no one had ever made him feel that way… ever. 

It seemed the older Uchiha knew exactly where to hit Naruto to cause the most damage, his emotions, his spirit, his self-assurance. Itachi poked at and manipulated each of his greatest attributes, twisting and questioning them.

He was who he was. Naruto was Naruto, everyone knew that; no one questioned him or discussed his feelings with him. No one asked Naruto to think, use his head, logically deduce things… They accepted him for the idiot they thought he was, dismissed his antics with a wave, a look, a word, or all of those things.

Nobody ever really _listened_ to what he had to say, or what he thought, not enough to consider them anyway. So Naruto never had any reason to wonder if he was right or wrong about something, if he was being fair, hypocritical… 

Any time anyone had ever listened, or better yet accepted what he had to say or thought, and by acceptance that meant they weren't going to argue or call him a dumb-head, was after he'd defeated an enemy or proven that sometimes he could be useful. Even then their acceptance was more a 'thank God for small favors' type deal rather than a 'wow Naruto is quite a ninja under all that clumsiness and bluster'. Sure, maybe sometimes those around him thought him a good competent ninja, but that was usually fleeting. He usually managed to bring them back to reality quick enough when he next opened his mouth or tripped over his own feet. 

He wasn't used to being taken seriously, wasn't used to people listening to him, and he certainly wasn't used to people discussing his philosophies with him like they actually mattered.

Itachi had delved into his mind, ripped out his philosophies, his "way of the ninja", analyzed them, then posed questions to Naruto while simultaneously showing him awful images that disputed, refuted, and made him doubt his "way". The S-ranked outlaw had said and shown Naruto some terribly painful things, and it seemed to Naruto that there were several truths to the things Itachi said and did. 

So many thoughts and questions were raging through Naruto's head, clawing at his mind and soul. Overwhelming confusion pounded his brain, but unbidden self-doubt, a feeling that before his encounter with Itachi was foreign to him, kept rearing its ugly head from time to time haunting his musings, forcing him to question many things that before were a certainty.

The older Uchiha had him turning himself inside out dissecting every facet of himself and his relationships. The thought that this was most likely what Itachi wanted him to do still couldn't stop him from doing it, and this irritated him more than he already was. He tried several times to stomp his doubts and questions into hiding, but failed miserably several times.

Naruto had been depressingly amazed at how inept he'd been against Itachi. He'd spent the last two years vigorously training his body and mind, and he had been quite successful at making both more powerful but evidently not powerful enough, not to take on the dangerous Uchiha anyway.

Weeks ago Naruto had found himself against the sharingan master and was beaten more soundly than he ever thought possible. In fact, if it weren't for the Kyuubi, he'd probably be dead.

The Itachi encounter had left him unconscious for weeks, or so Sakura had told him. The blond shinobi had exhausted his mind, body, and energy fighting against the mental trauma Itachi was hammering him with. He'd been severely weakened from too much chakra use, and when he finally woke in the hospital he'd had the most skull-splitting headache and a severe memory gap.

The demon fox had taken over right before he'd passed out from severe exhaustion. Apparently the nine tails was not susceptible to the mangekyou sharingan, and was able to turn the tables on Itachi.

The fox demon had held the Uchiha in thrall in his own red, white, and black world, refusing to release the Akatsuki until he was dead. The sharingan offered Itachi some protection from the Kyuubi's mental assault, but it had caused the Uchiha nearly every single shred of strength and chakra he'd possessed.

The Kyuubi had held the Akatsuki in Tsukuyomi limbo until Naruto's body couldn't handle the powerful demon's chakra any longer; it had begun to erode, so the fox had to retreat. Thankfully the Uchiha was too weak to be a threat to his vessel. The murderous shinobi's sharingan and Naruto's eroding body had bought Itachi enough time to survive.

The demon fox had kept greedily sucking all the images Itachi had to offer, stuffing them deep into Naruto's subconscious; the Uchiha wasn't able to pull out of his own jutsu, and was forced to expend enormous amounts of stamina and energy.

Unfortunately the Kyuubi had no way to permanently keep the images away from Naruto, and he was forced to experience them almost as soon as he'd woken in the hospital. It was Naruto's mention of Sasuke that had brought the buried images to life. The Kyuubi hadn't foreseen this. He'd planned on releasing the implanted memories small piece by small piece.

It seemed the images Itachi had bred, most of which included Sasuke, assimilated themselves with Naruto's real memories. They had fused so the blond ninja's mind had no way of knowing the difference between his real memories and the created ones. All of the thoughts concerning Sasuke flooded into him as soon as his mind tried to recall his dark haired friend.

It had been horrific. Itachi had shown him just exactly what he'd done to Sasuke; he showed him the Uchiha slaughter as it happened, showed him Sasuke's torture, let him hear the words he'd said to the younger Uchiha. 'I just played the part of the brother you always wanted.' Naruto had felt incredible sadness at what had happened to his friend. He'd known Sasuke had been through an awful tragedy, but until Itachi, he hadn't had any idea just exactly how terrible it was.

Itachi didn't stop there. He continued to show him Sasuke's solitude as a child, how Sasuke was set apart from the others, and how the expectations everyone had for him were impossible to meet. He would forever be in the shadow of his brother, and would forever be haunted by everyone's words, 'become a great ninja like your brother'.

Sasuke had never reached his brother's level. He knew he hadn't. He'd been called great and superior by his peers before they even knew what he was capable of; in Sasuke's mind it was solely his name that earned him that reputation, in his mind he knew how lacking he was. And when Sasuke finally felt confident and secure in his abilities, his brother showed up to torture him again, and being as benevolent as he was, Itachi shared that torture of Sasuke with Naruto too.

Naruto had watched helplessly as his best friend's spirit was broken; he was being mentally and emotionally torn down, and all Naruto could do was watch. He understood Sasuke's isolation, he'd had his share of that himself albeit on a different level, but for some reason he felt Sasuke had had it worse.

It seemed an awful responsibility to have to be the best at everything, basically be unbeatable, or everyone saw you as less, or was disappointed, and yet by the standards you were raised with you weren't nearly good enough.

The older Uchiha made sure Naruto saw the sadness of Sasuke's life, felt the same need for power, felt the same kind of solitude, felt his friend's failure, and most of all felt the same loss of family.

Itachi had set him up beautifully, because as soon as Naruto knew Sasuke's suffering personally, felt it as only a good friend or brother would, Itachi showed him how he, Naruto, had helped to push his friend away and made it worse. 'No wonder he went to Orochimaru.'

So here Naruto was now, picking himself apart, berating himself for his blindness and stupidity, and feeling terribly guilty. He'd hated the way he chose to treat Sasuke before their mutual truce. Of course Sasuke was no bowl of cherries, but perhaps if Naruto had been nicer or less jealous Sasuke would have come around. Maybe it was Naruto's incessant challenging of the dark-haired boy that kept Sasuke bitter toward him for so long.

Through all of Naruto's speculation and self-analyzing he'd come to one truth about him and Sasuke… He could have been more understanding. Naruto wiped a small trickle of tears from his cheek. He could have been _a lot_ more understanding. "I'm sorry Sasuke. I thought I knew… but… I didn't'."

He felt like kicking himself. He'd been so stupid about Sasuke. Lecturing his dark-haired friend about weakness, failing to understand his pain, refusing to acknowledge it. He really had no idea what the young Uchiha had gone through, and though Sasuke kept trying to tell him he hadn't listened.

'What kind of a friend was I?' Naruto mentally asked himself. He'd dared call himself Sasuke's friend, but he hadn't been willing to see that friend's pain, refused to see that Sasuke had a rough lonely life simply because he was jealous of him. He wanted so many things that Sasuke had. He'd been so blinded by envy that he wasn't willing to see Sasuke's pain, admit that Sasuke wasn't as lucky as everyone thought.

He'd told Sasuke once that he'd imaged his relationship with Iruka was what having a father must be like, and that he envisioned Sasuke as an older brother to him. It was the imaginary family Naruto had built around himself, had come to love more than anything… probably more than life itself – hell, it was his life.

He'd never realized just how much he'd molded himself around that family until the day it was threatened, until the day it was actually ruined, taken away… 'Damn you Orochimaru for taking him. And damn Itachi for showing me this, and for wounding my friend, so badly.'

Naruto hurt; he wanted his brother back. He wanted Sasuke back. How ironic it was that Sasuke's leaving would give him insight to how tortured the young Uchiha had felt. Naruto had been so angry with Sasuke for being so power hungry, self-righteously lectured him on how he foolishly dwelled on the past.

He remembered the last time he saw Sasuke. It was in the Valley of the End, and they were ruthlessly fighting. 

Sasuke couldn't bring himself to kill Naruto, and Naruto couldn't kill Sasuke. Naruto had diffused his Rasengan, diverted his aim and scratched Sasuke's forehead protector, and Sasuke had pulled back his chidori and fisted his hand to stop himself from skewering Naruto. In the end neither had been able to kill the other.

That last touch they shared allowed Naruto to see into Sasuke's heart, and he saw there that Sasuke truly loved him, truly saw him as a brother, a friend, and Sasuke had diffused his lightening edge. In that moment Naruto felt more loved than ever before.

He was important to the Uchiha. He'd seen the feelings Sasuke was so inept at showing, actually felt them. Naruto was recognized and loved by the strongest of his peers; by someone he'd never ever thought would acknowledge him, and it was a wonderful feeling. And now that person who cared so much for him was gone…

Naruto grasped his bed sheets, fisted them tightly in his hands. 'Sasuke's gone. My friend is gone.' He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back his tears but feeling them stream down his face just the same.

Naruto knew only too well now how Sasuke must have felt about the slaughter of his family, understood the deep- seeded hatred against the one who'd committed the crime. The irony was that it was Itachi who had shown him how his dark -haired friend had suffered. The one most hated by Sasuke was the one to make Naruto truly see Sasuke's suffering. 

Naruto felt the pain and emptiness of Sasuke's absence, but Itachi had shown him a whole new world of pain, the pain of turning your back on someone you love, of pushing them away. And now that he had experienced this pain he was ashamed of himself.

Itachi had shown Naruto images of what Sasuke's life must be like with Orochimaru. He imprinted images in Naruto's mind of Orochimaru holding Sasuke prisoner, beating him, chaining him up, keeping him in a cage… All the while Orochimaru would look at Naruto accusingly and laugh. The snake man had even said 'thank you' to Naruto, as if the blond ninja had personally handed him Sasuke, and thanks to Itachi Naruto felt that he did.

Naruto knew he shouldn't feel responsible for Sasuke's leaving, knew that despite their differences he had been a good friend to the Uchiha, and knew he'd done all in his power to stop the dark-haired boy from leaving, but he felt truth in Itachi's accusations. Naruto couldn't deny the truth he saw in those awful sharingan-born images. Naruto had been afraid that Sasuke was being locked-up, tortured, chained, and God knew what else at Orochimaru's stronghold, and Sakura had proven that fear false by her brief encounter with the Uchiha. She'd said he looked fine and sort of peaceful, less angry. How she knew that in just those few minutes he didn't know, but it didn't matter because Naruto believed her.

What did matter was that instead of feeling relief and happiness that his friend was okay, Naruto had felt anger and wished to harm the genius himself.

He'd seen the look in Sakura's eyes this morning as she told him about her rescue from Kisame. Her eyes and face had lit up like a brilliant sunrise when she'd said his name… 'Sasuke'. Of course she probably didn't realize it, but Naruto saw it, and he knew it for what it was… Her love for Sasuke hadn't dwindled in the slightest. She was still as besotted with him as ever, and that revelation angered Naruto more than he thought possible. One look from Sakura, and all his sympathy for Sasuke drained away, was swallowed by intense envy.

He'd always thought that he was Sasuke's equal, or dare he think it, _better_ than Sasuke. Naruto had always wanted to be better than his dark-haired friend; longed to see the day he would be known as Uchiha Sasuke's better. Yeah, yeah, he rattled on about being equal, but in reality he wanted to be the best. What better way to become the best than to defeat the best… the genius Uchiha Sasuke. Even the sound of the raven-haired ninja's name sounded great… _Uchiha Sasuke_, and the sound of his own name, _Uzamaki Naruto_, sounded as obscure and unpredictable as he was. And to Naruto that was _not_ a good thing. 

Jealousy he thought previously buried forever, rose inside him, threatening to regress him years. A part of Naruto knew this was wrong, that to become the Uchiha's adversary again would be the wrong path, but a more primitive part begged him to reopen the rivalry, claimed that his honor and dignity were at stake.

Naruto's broken heart wanted to go after Sasuke, to beat him senseless, but not for leaving, for being who he was. His soul ached to bring the Uchiha pain, the kind of pain he was feeling now, but he was also ashamed at these feelings… deeply ashamed… But…

Why _did_ he always have to lose to Sasuke? Why was he always coming in behind the genius with the noble bloodline? It was true that he'd put all his envy of the sharingan user aside, forgot about it, even moved beyond it, but now that it came to it he realized he hadn't buried the proverbial hatchet very deep. He punched the bed in frustrated anger. 

"Why Sasuke, _why_ Sakura? Why did it have to be her?" He whispered with clenched teeth in a trembling pained voice. She was _his_ now, why couldn't Sasuke just let him have this one thing? 'You have everything else. Just let me have her.'

"Rrr." He growled, and _whacked_ the mattress again, loving the loud _thud_ it caused. It was cheap and effective therapy, and a part of him couldn't help but imagine, wish, it was Sasuke.

Long ago, Naruto had accepted Sakura's love of Sasuke and resigned himself to never being considered as more than a really good friend to her. As time went on, he lost any resentment and bitterness over not being able to 'get the girl', and fell into the role of good friend. It hadn't been easy though.

He'd had to bury his fire for her, suppress it, and utterly ignore it. It was the only way he could bear watching her moon over Sasuke. He wished he could have gotten over her, forgotten all about her, but it was impossible for him to truly forget. She was everything he'd ever wanted; she _still_ was.

About a year after Sasuke had left, Naruto had taken Sakura out for her birthday. They'd both had so much companionable fun on that night, something they had not had since the Uchiha left.

He and Sakura had stayed out late, eating ramen and snacks, playing games, shopping… When it became clear that it was time to go home, every shop and restaurant in town was closing, neither had felt like separating.

Naruto had walked her home, something she didn't often allow, and when they had reached her door she invited him in. 'Naruto… would you… like to come in?' Her sweet voice had asked him, and of course he'd stammered out 'o-okay', sounding real smooth.

They'd stayed up the entire night talking and laughing, speaking of old times, reminiscing about moments with their dark-haired friend, a thing they hadn't allowed themselves to do since Sasuke left. It was a night of dealing with pent up feelings, healing emotional wounds, and saying goodbye to the old Sasuke.

He'd almost fallen over when she claimed that her love for Sasuke was not what it once was. She claimed to love him as a close friend. No longer pining for him the way she used to. 'I still miss him, and I want him back with us, but… I think my heart has moved on.' She'd said. Her eyes had looked so deeply into his at the last part, they penetrated his heart, and as if in mutual agreement they kissed. 

Naruto remembered every wonderful detail of that kiss. It was the first of many that night. His stomach still somersaulted at the thought of that first kiss. It was long and slow, each slowly getting to know the feel of each other's mouth. It had been wonderful, and that fire for her he thought buried roared to life like a towering inferno. 

His mind recalled the kisses they'd shared through their entire year of dating. They were always slow and almost… experimental. She'd caress his cheek, the nape of his neck, and sometimes she'd twine her arms around his neck to kiss him deeply. He'd run his fingers through her hair, rub her back, grab her waist, hold her close… none had ever been passion filled and frenzied, not on her end anyway. He'd tried a few times, because he couldn't help it, but she usually quieted him back down with a soft word or firm touch. Until now, Naruto hadn't minded. He'd loved his mouth lingering on hers, the feel of her warm tongue caressing his. He loved the slowness of it, and besides, he didn't want to rush things.

He'd obsessed over her for so long he didn't want to chance losing her because he couldn't wait for her to adjust to the idea that it wasn't Sasuke she was kissing. Not that she'd told him as much, but Naruto knew that infatuations like she had with Sasuke didn't die fast… or easy. Admitting you were over them was one thing, but actually moving on was another. Especially when you didn't want to move on in the first place. He knew first hand. Sakura was his infatuation. 

"You're my Sasuke Sakura. Don't you see?" He whispered, curious as to how it sounded, curious to see if the heavy weight of Sasuke's spirit pressed in on him when he said it. He'd spoke with trepidation, as if afraid his words would wake a strong evil presence.

He'd wanted to say that to her so many times so she'd understand just how much he loved her, needed her. He knew she'd be able to relate to that, but he didn't want to say his friend's name, didn't want to bring him into their relationship, at least any more than he already was. Sasuke's ghost always seemed to linger in their presence, haunt him.

Naruto always feared she thought of Sasuke when he kissed her, feared he'd cause her to be distant if he mentioned the boy's name, feared she'd leave him if Sasuke ever came back… "Sasuke." He whispered almost reverently, tasting the flavor of the name as it fell from his tongue. He rubbed the sheets, softly running the palm of his hand over the fabric, trying to feel the name as well as taste it.

He had to revere the man whose name and presence alone could overpower him in every way. Uchiha Sasuke had outdone him in so many ways his name seemed ethereal, a fey and dangerous thing. That to say the name even in a low whisper would conjure its owner's strength of presence, and doom the speaker to crumbling under its power.

How was it that he could understand this but not see it? He understood the effect Sasuke had on everything and everyone around him; he saw it. But he could not comprehend it because he could not feel it… or so he thought. He was feeling it now in jealousy, anger, hate…

"Uchiha Sasuke. _Uchiha Sasuke.__Uchiha_ Sasuke. Uchiha _Sasuke._" He tested the name several times trying to see what it was that drew such attraction for the boy. Of course Naruto's voice dripped with sarcastic jealously as he spit and drawled the name, just because Sasuke pissed him off, but… 'Why does everyone covet you so much?' Naruto had once caught Temari kissing Shikamaru. He never alerted them to his presence, and he didn't leave. He just watched, enthralled. It was amazing the way their mouths overlapped, their tongues danced… He could hear their soft moans, watched as their hands explored each other's bodies. They'd seemed… desperate, like one was the life's blood of the other.

He'd seen then that he and Sakura had never experienced such a thing, not together anyway. She was always the brake to his speed, because he _definitely_ wanted to kiss Sakura like that, had tried to a few times, succeeded in dreams, but she was always tentative and experimental, like she was searching for something.

How stupid he'd been, as always. She was waiting to feel that special spark, the one that would ignite a fiery passion inside her, like he saw with Temari and Shikamaru. She was looking for the kind of spark she used to get with just a _look_ from Sasuke. She didn't say so, but she didn't need to. Naruto knew. He knew it with every fiber of his being; he just denied it, wished it away, willed it to not exist.

Naruto clenched his hands in jealous anger and indignation at not being good enough. What was worse was that the kisses had _never_ grown in passion, not once did he excite her the way he knew Sasuke would. Not once did he feel what he saw in his two friends' kiss. He couldn't see the difference before, he thought kissing was kissing, but it was clear as day to him now. 'I can't believe I was so blind!'

Naruto crossed his arms and leaned back on the headboard of the hospital bed, bouncing from gritted teeth to teary eyes and pouty lip. He couldn't decide which emotion he felt more, anger at the damned genius Uchiha for once again out- doing him, or sadness at having lost something he'd wanted so badly for so long.

Being out-done by Uchiha Sasuke seemed to be Naruto's lot in life. He'd been haunted by the talented boy since day one of their meeting. He'd had two years with Sakura without the Uchiha around. One of those years he and Sakura had been a couple… they still were.

Twelve months of hand-holding, secret sharing, kissing… Tears fell fierce and freely down his cheeks, pooling at the corners of his downtrodden mouth; He made no move to wipe them away or stop them.

'Sasuke shows his face for a few minutes, and I'm second best again'. How could he not resent that?

Naruto was so mad. He wanted to hate both of them, but he knew he could never hate Sakura. She couldn't help the way she felt, and she had given him a chance; it's not like she didn't try. Hell, she probably didn't even realize she didn't like Naruto in that way, not like a man loves a woman. Even now, after seeing Sasuke she'd probably still try to love him, but Naruto knew it would never work out, and he was too in love with her to pretend. It was too painful. But Sasuke? He could hate Sasuke. He wiped fiercely at the tears that coated his face, angry that he even let them fall, angry that Sasuke had made him cry.

His knuckles cracked as he clenched his fists. "I will win against you one day. I will!" He growled ferociously, raising his hand in promise just as he did to Neji when swearing vengeance for his ill treatment of Hinata and his ugly words to Naruto himself.

Almost instantly Naruto regretted his thoughts. He didn't want to hate Sasuke; he loved Sasuke. The Uchiha was like his older brother; he was his best friend. But right now Naruto felt such strong negative emotions against the dark- haired boy that if felt like hate. And truth be told were Sasuke in front of him right now he'd pound him.

Naruto knew his wrath was misdirected. Sasuke didn't ask for Sakura to love him, and he certainly didn't demand Naruto date her, but jealousy demanded that Naruto hate him. Why not? He was always coming in behind the Uchiha, always second, always overshadowed by the genius, and now… he would lose the love of his life to him… again. What was worse was that he'd be losing the love of his life to a thought… a dream.

'Dammit! I'm flesh and blood!' He was right in front of the pink-haired girl. He loved her, would do anything for her, and he was here. He was flesh and blood right in front of her, and _still_ he couldn't even hold a candle to the mere _thought_ of Sasuke. The Uchiha was so great that he didn't even need to be around to beat Naruto, to haunt him.

He was so mad. "I hate you." He spat, seething inside with hate and anger. "I HATE YOU UCHIHA SASUKE." He'd yelled venomously, hoping to rid himself of some of his fast- building anger… it hadn't worked. He wanted, no _needed_ to get his hands on Sasuke.

Naruto clenched his fists in frustrated anger and… sorrow. "Sasuke." He whispered, lowering his head in shame. He was hurt, he was in pain, and though Sasuke hadn't done anything he was the cause of it, and Naruto was having a hard time fighting the desire to hate the dark-haired genius.

Naruto knew pain was not foreign to Sasuke, the young Uchiha had felt it most of his life, Naruto understood that more now, and he didn't need more… especially from a jealous "best" friend. He pressed his eyes shut, trying to will the need to quench his thirst for vengeance away.

"It's so hard." He whispered, his voice shaky with emotional pain. He really did want vengeance, more than anything, and it scared him.


	8. Death and Deception

**Terms**: Most of you already know these. I'll explain them as I mean them, or know them. There may be more literal meanings, but that really doesn't matter to me. As long as we have the basic idea. **kunoichi**-female ninja; **dato**-long sword; **kunai**-knife, throwing knife.

**Warning:** As a courtesy, I'm reminding readers that this story is rated M (NC 17). This chapter may contain sexual situations, blood and violence, swearing… but then that is to be expected with this rating, right?

**Disclaimer**: Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

Chapter Seven: Death and Deception

Sasuke was panting, finding it hard to draw air into his lungs. It was too much work, took too much energy. He felt completely drained.

'Dammit.' He silently cursed, gritting his teeth in pain and determination. His body was so fatigued, but he couldn't let it give out, if he did he'd die. His knees trembled, begging Sasuke to rest.

"Mmm." Sasuke groaned, involuntarily going down on his knees. 'Shit.' He silently cursed. His body wanted so much to give out, and he could feel that his mind wasn't far behind. But right now it willed his body to move. 'Move damn you. Move!' 

Slowly, as if he'd had a thousand pounds resting on his shoulders, Sasuke stood, staggering along the hallway. 'Almost there.'

'So tired.' He was sweating. Just standing was an immense exertion. He felt hot and cold at once. 'Don't give in. Don't give in.' He mentally repeated cheering himself on. His knees felt like jelly. He didn't know how much longer they'd support him.

Sasuke grit his teeth, determined to keep moving, albeit at a snail's pace. It was all he could manage. The walk down the hall to Sakura's door seemed endless.

It had been a mission like any other. Nothing had marked it as unusual or different, not even the fact that the patron had demanded Sasuke take the mission rose warning signs. 

It had become a regular thing, customers personally requesting Sasuke or Tayuya or Kabuto for missions. If the client was important enough, or high paying enough and Orochimaru was in a benevolent enough mood, the customer was granted their request. No big deal. In fact it had become common practice lately for clients to request specific ninja for certain jobs. It was a sort of perk for high paying patrons.

_Roughly thirty-six hours ago…_

A businessman requested Sasuke for an escort and possible killing mission. He'd claimed he had very dangerous men after him. He wanted someone of Sasuke's repute to protect him, and if possible eliminate the threat. He'd also had a large amount of money to pay for the Uchiha's services, and since everything seemed normal, his wish was granted.

Sasuke's reputation as a dangerous ninja had spread among patrons of the Sound. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for customers to label him as valuable and offer any price for his services. In fact, he'd become the most sought after in the entire Sound, so once again, the businessman's words and request seemed like any other, but it wasn't...

_Eight hours later…_

The forest air was cool, and the sky was beginning to darken with the last of daylight. Sasuke kept unconsciously rubbing his arms, darting his head around looking for a sign of what was to come. 'Something isn't right.' His skin was tingling with warning sensations.

The two subordinates he had with him kept casting him sideways glances wondering what was wrong, but neither dared ask. Sasuke was an elite, Orochimaru's favorite, a feared Uchiha, and they were simply novice, inexperienced ninja. It wasn't their place to question someone like him.

Sasuke ignored the two other ninja of his group. He was too busy assessing his surroundings to bother with their insecurities. He had his senses honed to the area around where he and his group traveled. So far he hadn't sensed anything.

'Everything seems normal.' He thought, but still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

No sooner than he finished his silent statement he was forcefully thrown backwards by a large explosion, rolling across the ground with the force of the shock wave.

He barely gained his feet, hadn't quite had a chance to right himself, when a huge gust of wind threw him into a nearby tree. "Umph!" Sasuke grunted. He was thrown so hard that he thought he might actually be imbedded in the tree.

Chaotic shouts, smacks, and booms immediately broke out all around him, but he couldn't see. Everything was blurry, and his head was spinning. He'd hit that tree hard.

Momentarily stunned, Sasuke blinked his eyes trying to clear his vision. A blurry blob, obviously someone, was coming at him… fast. One blob quickly became two, became three… Sasuke shook his head, trying to hurry the blurriness away. His vision went black for a moment; he felt hands grab him. 

He was shoved to the ground, face pushed into the dirt. A great weight, or several weights, settled on his back, holding him down while someone bound his arms behind his back, wrist to elbow. A sharp pinching-like pain was felt in his arm and he could feel something being injected into him. 

Sasuke struggled, but was so completely immobilized his thrashing was little more than squirming… if even that. His eyelids were quickly growing heavy. The last thing he remembered before passing out were the death screams of his two young subordinates.

_Some time later…_

Sasuke wasn't sure how long he'd been unconscious. It was obvious they'd given him some sort of sleep serum, but he woke to darkness and the sound of crickets and a crackling campfire. A light evening breeze drifted over his skin and he knew he was still outside.

The dark haired ninja squirmed a bit. He was still bound… tight. He could barely move his arms. He was placed haphazardly over a fallen tree. Slung over it, ass in the air, as if he were placed on horse. His only view was of the ground and a bit of the area to either side of him.

Sasuke saw no one immediately around him, but he could hear a male and a female voice engrossed in conversation.

Straining his ears he was able to discern where they were taking him, their names, whose idea it was to subterfuge the Sound and ambush him…

His captors were called Temari and Kankuro. They were from the Sand village, and it was their brother Gaara who'd orchestrated the plan for his capture. They were taking him to Konoha.

As allies to the Leaf, the Sand ninja had taken up the cause of capturing Sasuke. Apparently Tsunade had put out an order to capture or kill Sasuke; the Sand had volunteered for first try. If they failed the Hokage was going to send out a team of her own in six months.

Sasuke had been deemed too dangerous to be left in the hands of Orochimaru, their enemy. Those were the words of the Hokage anyway, and according to Temari and Kankuro the Kazekage agreed. So the two villages had banded together in common cause to rid the world of Uchiha Sasuke.

'How noble of them.'

Sasuke remembered Gaara well; he'd been a worthy adversary, albeit a crazy, sick son-of-a-bitch. The other two he knew only as the red haired ninja's siblings. They hadn't really stuck out as special to Sasuke, not like Gaara had. He'd even fought the female before and easily defeated her.

Temari had said they were about six hours from Konoha. Sasuke had silently cursed at that. They must have been dragging him for nearly twenty-four hours straight. He'd been nowhere near Konoha when he was captured, and now he was practically at the fuckin' gates.

He'd heard them say they expected him to sleep for another three hours or so, but that they'd administer more sleep agent before they settled in to sleep. 'Just to be on the safe side.' The male called Kankuro had said.

Sasuke remained as still and as silent as he could. He didn't want to alert anyone to his wakefulness. Whatever it was they'd injected into him it worked fast. If they managed to inject him again, like they planned, the next time he woke would be in Konoha. Probably in their jail, or an ANBU interrogation room. He couldn't allow that. He needed to get out of here.

Listening carefully to the area around him told him the two conversing ninja were directly behind him, sitting around a campfire. The rest of their team, and it sounded like there were a lot of them, were in various areas in the forest creating a protective perimeter around the camp.

Sasuke was bound, slung over a tree, and he was surrounded by several alert ninja. 'How in the hell do I get out of this?' Sasuke wondered contemplating the almost nonexistent options he had for escaping.

Sasuke heard the shifting of feet and clothes as one or both of the two behind him stood up. Drawing himself from his thoughts he concentrated on their movements. They were walking, coming toward him. 'What are they doing?' Sasuke wondered, and he couldn't help but remember Kankuro's promise to shoot him up with more sleep agent. He couldn't afford that.

Closing his eyes he tuned into the sound of the footsteps, blocked out all noise save the shifting of those feet. One set stopped about half way to him; the other was still coming. Sasuke concentrated on the set still coming toward him, waiting to see if they would approach him…

Sasuke had no plan to get him out of this. He honestly didn't know what he'd do if one of them got close to him, but he couldn't afford to not do anything. He was a ninja. These past two years had given him a lot of battle experience, and if he couldn't consciously form a battle plan, then he'd leave it up to instinct to decide his motives.

The footsteps were near on top of him now… Sasuke readied himself, clearing his mind and opening his senses to all around him. It was so important he not even twitch the tiniest bit until it was time lest he alert the approaching nin of his wakefulness.

The footfalls stopped…

Sasuke whipped around on his back, swinging his legs like a windmill. Kankuro saw the Uchiha move and made to jump back… He wasn't fast enough.

Sasuke almost immediately had his legs wrapped around Kankuro's neck. All it would take is one good squeeze, and the Sand nin would be dead.

Not wasting a second, Sasuke turned his sharingan gaze on the female. "Don't!" He growled out.

Temari had been about to come to her brother's aid, but the Uchiha's voice stopped her. She could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice… he'd kill Kankuro. She stopped, raising her hands in the air to let him know she would do as he asked.

"Smart girl." Sasuke nodded. "Now. Untie me."

Numbly, Temari nodded, making her way toward her captive brother. She saw Sasuke tighten his thighs a bit, making Kankuro give a strangled cry. "Tell the others to pull back. And _don't_ try anything. You may kill me, but I promise you not before I snap your brother's neck."

Temari shivered. His voice was so cold, commanding. "He'll do it. Pull back!" She yelled to the ninja around them.

'What is he doing awake?' She silently questioned wonderingly and not without a bit of irritation. It was only moments ago they were congratulating themselves on a fine capture, and now the tables had completely turned. 'How had things gone so wrong so fast?' 

They'd given him enough sleep agent to down an elephant. He should have been out for at least another three hours. But… What did it matter anyway? She could ponder the oddity all day long, and it wouldn't change the fact that he was awake and Kankuro was in mortal trouble.

As Temari knelt beside him Sasuke leaned forward, giving her better access to his bindings. Her hands were shaking wildly. She didn't want him to kill her brother… or her for that matter. But it was different with her brother. It was _his_ life she'd be playing with if she tried anything, not her own.

She was a ninja. Risking her life was part of the job, and she was okay with that, but she wasn't okay with risking someone else's, especially her brother's. "Please don't kill my brother." She asked pleadingly. Her voice didn't nearly sound as shaky as she felt, considering how intensely his eyes were on her, but her speech was laced with the desperation she felt.

She watched the Uchiha's chest heave with adrenaline- heightened breaths, and mixed with the dangerous glint in his freakish red eyes she was sure he was trying his best _not_ to kill either of them.

Sasuke heard her plea, saw the desperation in her eyes, but he just couldn't bring himself to let it touch his heart. It was frightening how little her fear-filled eyes affected him. They shouldn't have laid their hands on him, played him for a fool, and they _most certainly_ shouldn't have killed his subordinates. He involuntarily squeezed Kankuro's neck at that last thought. The two ninja serving under him had been eleven and twelve.

"Please." Temari begged, noticing the tightening of the Uchiha's thighs. "I'll do anything. Just… please don't kill my brother." She pleaded as she undid the last of Sasuke's bindings.

Sasuke stretched his arms and hands, testing their mobility. They'd been bound very tightly in an awfully uncomfortable position for a long time. He needed to know that they'd work properly should he need to fight. "Give me my weapons." He commanded the girl. She nodded and leapt to do his bidding. 

Sasuke placed his weapons about him, left his sword for last, that he kept sheathed, but flexed his hands over the hilt. It felt good to have it back with him.

Sasuke noticed the large fan strapped to the female Sand's back. "Put down your fan and slowly walk backward."

He strapped the dato to his back, pulled the blade free of its sheath, and armed his other hand with a kunai. He watched the blonde girl with the odd fluffy pigtails back away from him, waited for her to get a comfortable distance from him… 

Here was where everything became a blur in Sasuke's mind. Once again it seemed that utter chaos instantaneously ensued. There was movement everywhere.

Memory recalled flashes of movement, the clinking of swords and knives meeting, pained screams, blood spattering…

So many had come from the shadows to attack Sasuke at once, a giant circle of death closing in on him. He handed himself over to instinct, acted without thinking, relying solely on intuition and reflex.

Sasuke was everywhere at once, sword slicing, parrying. Feet flying, body flipping, kunai slashing. It looked a perfectly choreographed dance, beautifully hypnotizing but deadly. And then it was over…

Sasuke could only imagine what he'd looked like, dato in one hand, kunai in the other, blood spattered on him from head to toe covering his weapons like a crimson sheath. He must have looked like a murderous madman, and perhaps just then he was. 

He was panting, madness gleaming in his eyes, staring at the girl and boy that had played a large role in his capture, killed his subordinates. "The two ninja that traveled with me… are they dead?"

Sasuke had heard their death screams, knew their fate, but he wanted to hear them say it. He needed to hear them admit to killing his team in order to quash that small bit of hope he had that perhaps they'd escaped.

Temari nodded, feeling slightly ashamed. It had needed to be done. Though young they were fighting fiends. The whole point of the mission, the main objective, was to capture Sasuke, and those two seemed hell bent on stopping them. Besides, Temari didn't want to lose any of _her_ team. It was either the Sound's ninja or hers. She chose hers.

Seeing her nod, Sasuke's grip on dato and kunai tightened several degrees, his knuckles turning a stark white with the strain. He wanted to kill them… badly; he was so angry. He could picture himself reaching out… one swipe of his blade, and they both would be separated from their heads.

Those two had been so young, so promising, so… innocent when compared with himself and these two. And they'd died. He was supposed to look after them, protect them, and he'd failed. Knowing them as Sasuke did, he knew they probably fought like hell for him. And he let them down…

Sasuke's hands shook with barely restrained rage; he took deep breaths through his nose. 'Don't kill them. Don't kill them.' He repeated to himself over and over again, while a separate part of his conscious mind replied 'Why not?' 

Perhaps he hesitated because these two were familiar to him, perhaps it was because he suspected they were friends with his old team, and maybe it was because he'd disarmed them and they were next to helpless. Sasuke couldn't say why he vacillated in killing them, only that he did.

"Impressive… traitor…" Kankuro replied, seeing the murderous light in Sasuke's eyes. His voice was weighted heavily with sarcasm, and he spit every word with hate and disgust. He needed to distract the Uchiha, get his mind off killing them, even if it meant angering him further than he already was.

Sasuke's eyes whirled to the face of the speaker. His eyes narrowed with indignant rage. "You killed my team. They were just boys." Sasuke spat, his voice laced with anger.

"And what about you Uchiha? How many of ours did you just slaughter?" Kankuro asked venomously.

"Twenty against one?" Sasuke spat. He'd just been attacked by twenty ninja at once and they had the nerve to be angry with him for defending himself.

He darted icy glares between Temari and Kankuro. "Is that the strength of the Sand? Is that the courage the Sand is made of?" He curled his lip in disgust.

Silence answered him.

The sound of the Uchiha's deep angry breaths pounded at Temari's ears. They sounded so frantic, so… _strained_. It was then Temari realized that Sasuke was contemplating their deaths.

Kankuro seemed unphased by the Uchiha's words, and returned Sasuke's sneer with a wickedly crazed smile of his own. "I hired him to lure you here. He was working for me." Kankuro said, referring to the businessman that had set this whole ordeal in motion.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the silly looking boy. 'Is this dumbass actually trying to bait me?' Sasuke wondered in disbelief.

"_I_ sent him to the Sound. _I_ ordered him to fool you." The male Sand nin smiled scornfully. "He really is a businessman though. I offered him a really sweet deal… a good sum for your head on a platter. He didn't even need to do the killing, just lure you in. Money for your traitorous life." He watched Sasuke's still form, his trembling hands. He was getting more and more enraged.

Kankuro was pleased with the Uchiha's reaction. If he made him mad enough he might let his guard down a bit, and then Kankuro would act…

Temari couldn't help but wonder what in the hell her brother was doing, but she wisely kept her mouth shut. Kankuro could honestly be an excellent fighter, but his lack of judgment at times had caused his undoing more than once. She only hoped now wasn't one of those times.

Sasuke's control hung by the barest of threads. He could feel the cursed seal ruthlessly pounding at him to release his anger, kill both of these fools. He didn't need the curse seal to fuel his anger, he was pissed off enough as it was, but fan his anger it did, and he had to wince at the intense burning in his shoulder.

Were he to release the burning seal he'd mindlessly kill the two, ruthlessly mutilate them, and he didn't want that. Not because he didn't want to kill them, but because he wanted to kill them in a more sinister way. He wanted to draw the fight out, make them see the error of their ways, beg for their lives, fall on their knees and grovel…

Two monsters warred within him. Both wanted vengeance and death, but one was bestial and animalistic while the other was cold and calculating… _neither_ was good.

Sasuke's soul called for the blood of those that betrayed him. The seal on his neck pulsed with hunger; it wanted blood. The twenty or so victims he'd just slaughtered hadn't even begun to sate the evil curse. And though he was already covered in blood, he wanted more… Sasuke didn't need to release the curse to feel it's malicious influence.

Sasuke knew he was becoming a monster, could feel it more and more each time he killed. His rational mind saw the transition, felt the coming change, but was helpless to stop it. Right now that calm rational side just stared in horror as the cold murderous part of him warred with the bloodthirsty animal part, both fed by the black curse that pulsed inside him.

He looked Kankuro in the eyes, soaked in his arrogantly defiant form. He could kill this man. He could cut off his head and not give the nasty deed a second thought. He should have been frightened by this revelation, revolted even, but he wasn't. It just seemed so natural to be able to kill those that had wronged him.

Black spots spread across his face and body. All indecision on whether or not he should kill these two disappeared beneath the pulsing death cries of the cursed seal. They were traitors. They were enemies to the Sound, to himself, and most importantly… to Orochimaru.

He turned his full attention to the two Sand nins. His eyes became cold, gleaming wickedly. His mouth broke out in a sadistic smile, and for the first time Kankuro shuddered with fear.

Temari was absolutely horrified. The Uchiha's power spiked to an unbelievable level. It was suffocating and immense. She saw only murder in those cold red eyes. 'He's going to kill us.' There was no doubt in her mind.

Kankuro and Temari were momentarily frozen in abject fear. They'd never seen or felt such murderous intent, not even with Gaara, and it had been unsettling.

Sasuke made to swing his sword, end both of their pitiful existences with one sweep, when he was knocked backwards by several kunai lodging in his shoulder, arms and legs. Temari ran to her fan. Kankuro activated his puppet, sending dozens of poison needles Sasuke's way… they hit.

Sasuke immediately felt an unnatural burning sensation where the needles entered his body… 'Poison'. 'Shit.' Fighting was useless. He needed to get help or he was going to die. 

Sasuke sank into the ground, let it swallow him, and came out a ways away from the fighting. It was one of Orochimaru's techniques he'd learned.

The two Sand watched helplessly as the earth swallowed their prey, but it didn't really matter. Kankuro had severely poisoned him. He would die within hours. Chances of him finding help in time were slim. They had no other choice but to kill him. They'd tried to take him alive, but that proved impossible. So they'd had to kill him.

Gaara sighed in relief. Thank God he'd decided to check up on his siblings. He'd hated to riddle Naruto's friend with kunai, but he knew the Uchiha was going to kill his brother and sister. He'd had to do something to stop him.

He'd ordered Kankuro and Temari to capture Sasuke, but if they couldn't take him alive they were to kill him. That's what their orders were, and that's what ended up having to happen. It was probably for the best anyway. Put the Uchiha out of his misery.

'Pity.' Kankuro thought. Now they were going to have to search for his body and bring it back to Konoha, or dissect the secret of the sharingan and gain its power.

"Let's go." Temari ordered.

Sasuke looked around. Those bastards had managed to bring him so close to Konoha, which meant he was quite far away from the Sound, too far away to get help from them. There was no way he could make to Orochimaru in time, not before the poison overwhelmed his system anyway.

There was only one option for saving himself… he had to go to Konoha.

_Four hours later (Present Time)…_

That was how he'd found himself at Sakura's door in the middle of the night. The journey had been grueling. It hadn't taken a whole lot of time, but it had seemed endless. He'd had to use uncounted amounts of chakra, traveling at tremendous speeds, using his sharingan to fool a few villagers into revealing where the pink haired kunoichi lived, scaling rooftops and concealing himself so as not to be recognized…

After all his effort he only hoped Sakura could help him… without giving his presence away.

Sasuke pounded on her door, silently willing her to answer, but she never came. Sasuke wanted to weep with insane frustration. He'd worked so hard to get here. He was near losing consciousness, in pain, and if he didn't get help soon he was going to die.

Thinking that perhaps she hadn't heard the knock, Sasuke pounded louder, ignoring the nagging voice in the back of his mind that suggested she might not be home.

"Go away!" She screamed from the other side of the door. He managed a weak smile. 'Well she's definitely home.'

"Please… Sakura… It's me… Sasuke." He cried out, or tried to cry out, taking deep breaths between each word. What was supposed to be a yell came out as a breathy whisper. 'No.' His consciousness was hanging by a thread.

He tried again, but his breath failed him and his vision began tunneling to a thin point. 'Dammit. Why can't I call for her?' He sat panting; trying to calm his breathing, but it was too late. He'd already pushed his body too far. 'Sakura. Hear me.' He silently begged…

She never came.

"Nnnn." He groaned, grabbing at his chest; it was so hard to breath. 'Well, that's it. I'm going to die.'

Accepting his fate Sasuke sank to the floor in blessed unconsciousness.


	9. I Miss You I Need You

**Disclaimer**: Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story wouldn't exist.

**Warning**: This story is rated M. This chapter contains some strong language, sexual content, underage (17) intimacy, and violence. If this kind of material is offensive to you or if you are not of age to read M rated fiction please do not read.

**To those who reviewed**: Thank you! I'd reply to you individually, but I'm afraid it isn't allowed. If you want to hear from me, or want a question answered please leave an email address so I can get back to you! Thanks!

Chapter 8: "I Miss You; I Need You"

_"Where you used to be there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling into at night. I miss you like hell."_ **Edna St. Vincent Millay**

Tayuya lay in Sasuke's bed, clutching his pillow to her face. She was inhaling his scent. It had been a month since he left on his mission, one month since she'd seen him. One month since she'd held him… one month…

"Hhh." She sighed longingly, her mind filling with memories of the dark haired ninja: his hot breath panting against her ear, the warmth of his body as it hovered over her, his rich voice as he whispered her name in pleasure…

She buried her face in his pillow, hugging it to her as if it were a living thing that could lend her warmth. 'God I miss that son of a bitch.' She thought as she let his lingering smell surround her, comfort her.

There were a thousand different things running through her mind and haunting her thoughts. His warmth, the feel of his beating heart as she lay holding him, the sound of his breathing… She'd felt so safe, so protected with him. She felt like even Orochimaru himself couldn't touch her. But he was gone and he might never come back.

It was a bit unsettling that she missed his presence so much, his warmth. She wasn't a being meant for companionship, for a serious relationship… Neither was Sasuke. But she could feel the pain of his absence. Her gut hurt, her chest hurt… She wanted to stay curled up in his bed, hugging that pillow, reveling in his smell until he came back.

'And if he doesn't come back?' Her mind taunted.

Unbidden, tears fell down her face. She missed him, and she felt certain she'd fallen in love with him. That was the last thing she'd ever wanted to do. Hell, it was the last thing she ever thought would happen.

They'd totally despised each other when he first came to the Sound. They were always arguing shooting out snippy comments to each other, physically fighting one another out of pure irritation and dislike.

One morning they'd been especially violent with each other. They'd been arguing, but what about she couldn't even remember. She'd been acting petulant, he arrogant. They started bickering over something trivial that soon led to physical pushing, smacking, blocking…

Somehow they'd ended up on the floor wrestling, pulling hair, pinching. They both gripped each other not wishing to let the other get away. He pushed. She scratched. They did whatever they could to hurt one another.

There was something erotic about the way they wrestled, limbs tangling, breath coming harder and faster from exertion, holding each other down, pressing each other into the floor…

After fifteen minutes or so they slowed in their wrestling; pushing became caressing, pinching became grabbing… The pissed off growls became wanting moans. The pained grunts became pleasure filled gasps, and before they knew it they were kissing open-mouthed and hungrily.

Realizing their wrestling match had turned into something totally different had them both frozen in wonder. They looked into each other's eyes, searching for a reaction, or a cue to continue.

Suddenly he wasn't the new jerky hotshot, but a very attractive male trapped beneath her. She could clearly remember wanting him to kiss her again, to touch her... But she wanted him to do it because he wanted to, not because it just happened.

Staring deep into Sasuke's eyes she watched as his hand reached down to caress her most intimate part. His look was arrogant and almost challenging. Daring her to stop his hand, daring her to not find his touch appealing.

She was extremely excited and pissed off at once. She wanted to violently wipe that egotistical look from his face, but at the same time she found it extremely erotic. And she was curious as hell about what he was going to do with that hand.

He pressed his hand against her and all thoughts of kicking his ass fled as a feeling like she'd never known before shot through her, making her gasp. His touch was absolutely euphoric.

Instinctively she rubbed against him, whispering his name in wonderment and bringing her mouth to suckle his neck. 

He'd closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side, allowing her full access to his neck. She felt so empowered seeing him surrender to her in such a fashion. It had been euphoric to say the least. The all-powerful, ever-cold, Uchiha Sasuke offering her his neck.

Neither knew what hit them. It was as if all their animosity and irritation toward one another morphed into need and want. They were so used to grappling and hitting one another that their close proximity and touches seemed natural, _different_, but natural.

Their exploration hadn't gone too much further before Kabuto inadvertently interrupted them, summoning Sasuke for Orochimaru. Slowly they'd parted ways staring into each other's eyes, making silent promises for more later.

After that incident, it had become a game with them. Sneaking away, experimenting with each other's body, seeking pleasure from one another. Each time they got together, the "game" got more intense, building to a near unbearable tension, charging the air around them with lustful energy.

She looked around his room, searching for any personal effects other than the pillow. It was a painful sight. His room was so empty, so… clean and organized. She wanted to see traces of him everywhere but there were none, just a tidy unpersonalized room.

'That's his way,' just the necessities, never excess.

'If he never comes back... What will I do to keep him with me? What keepsake can I have to remember him by?' 

"Tsk." She clucked out, clearly showing her irritation with her train of thought. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to miss him, or be fond of him, or anything. He was pleasure that was it.

Gritting her teeth in tight irritation she turned her gaze to the ceiling. God she hadn't even been able to sleep since she found out he was missing. How many nights had she lay away staring up at that ceiling waiting for sleep to claim her? Too many. She'd grown very intimate with the details of his ceiling these past weeks.

They'd both swore that their relationship was and would always be strictly physical. They didn't want love; there was no place in there life for love. They were creatures of the same kind, cold, distant, angry… those kinds of creatures didn't cuddle or miss each other, and they most certainly didn't love.

What was the use? Their first loyalty was to Orochimaru, always. Should the snake ask her to kill Sasuke she would. She wouldn't like it. It would probably disturb her, but she'd do it. And she was certain Sasuke would too. They were completely loyal to him. They lived for one life, one loyalty, and one master… Orochimaru.

'What a disaster.'

She'd unknowinly betrayed her's and Sasuke's "this-is-only-for-pleasure" creed. Though it wasn't until she learned she'd lost him, quite possibly forever, that she realized it. She'd felt panicked at the news. Her stomach roiled with anxiety, her hands twitched with nervous anxiousness. She'd felt... heartbroken.

When Kabuto had told her the news she'd numbly scuffled her way to his room, shocked at how strong her reaction to the news of his disappearance was. It had caught her completely off guard. Some time when she wasn't looking, Sasuke had become important to her.

Somehow, through their coupling and contact she'd begun to see him as a permanent fixture in her life, one she'd come to count on. Sure, their relationship was very physical, but it was more too. It gave her companionship, comfort, understanding… 'He was mine. Only mine, and I want him back.'

It didn't really matter to her that she would cuddle against him in bed and he'd just allowed her, never returning the favor. It didn't really bother her that he'd shrug at her suggestion to sleep in his bed with him, not really showing whether he wanted her to or not.

His overall aloofness didn't offend her, because when he made love to her, yes made _love_ to her, she knew she was the only one to have been so intimate with him, to have been touched by him, kissed by him… Because in that moment he was no longer cold and aloof, but sensual and attentive. And it was only with her. She felt like she belonged to him and he to her. 

Their intimacy was something that had belonged to only them. It was something not even Orochimaru could share in. That's what made it so special, so addicting, because it was theirs and theirs alone. They lived in such a way that nothing was their own, not even their own lives. But this… this belonged to them.

She paused in her thoughts, deeply inhaling the scent of the pillow again. The scent was fading. Soon it would be gone and she'd be left with nothing but her memories of him, and soon they'd fade too. She'd forget what he looked like, forget exactly what his voice sounded like, forget what he smelled like…

Closing her eyes, causing her gathered tears to fall down her cheeks, she tried to recall her time with him. She remembered times waking up with her arms around him, her face buried in the back of his neck enjoying his warmth, his essence.

She remembered the night they gave themselves to each other fully. It was one of her most treasured memories, and though the thought of it brought her pain she recalled it anyway.

He'd just returned from a diplomat assassination, and was rummaging around in the kitchen. The moment she'd stepped into the room with him the air became thick with undertones of desire.

_She watched his black clad figure rummage around in the kitchen. She had no idea what he was looking for, and she really didn't care; she just wanted to look at him. His black top, the one he wore for especially stealthy missions, molded to his form in such a way that she could make out the cut and shape of his perfect abs and pectorals when he moved. It was not skin tight, but it hugged his torso sinfully, and left his muscled arms blissfully uncovered._

She watched him move from cupboard to cupboard. He was a tall lithe figure. His movements smooth and graceful like a panther. Yes… Sasuke was a beautiful but deadly creature. And she wanted him. She wanted the Uchiha so bad she'd kill just to have one hour with him. She watched the muscles of his exposed upper arms contract and flex with his movements. She could imagine herself gripping those arms… She licked her lips.

He turned to her and smirked. It was such an arrogant and teasing smirk. It matched his personality perfectly, and she loved it. He knew she was watching him, knew what she was thinking.

At the time she remembered thinking he had to be the sexiest thing alive. She didn't love him, and she knew he didn't love her, neither of them would be fool enough to let that happen, but she didn't need to love him to want him. And oh how she had wanted him.

Only now she loved him. She had stupidly, ignorantly, idiotically fallen in love with him.

Recalling the wicked gleam in his eyes, she knew he had wanted her too.

That night, they'd christened the kitchen table with their first time. It had been fierce, passionate… wonderful. She smiled at the memory.

_Tayuya lay back on the table wanting to see her lover more fully. Her eyes drank in his taught muscles, marveled at they way they stretched and flexed as he moved over her. He was so beautiful, so perfectly sculpted, and he felt so good inside her._

She sat up, gripping his hair roughly, feeling his hot breath ghost against her skin as he breathed heavily in her ear. "Your mine Uchiha. If anyone else even dares touch you… I'll kill them." She growled out when she heard him whisper her name in bliss.

She had felt so possessive of him at that moment. She still did. The thought of another even visually appreciating him made her blood boil with jealous anger. 'If anyone should ever touch him…' that thought absolutely blinded her with rage.

They were probably too young to have experienced such coupling, but what did it matter when your existence was not your own. When your life hung by a thread every day, and you only breathed another day because your master decreed it should be so or you happened to strike first.

When all hope is for a future is gone, when all the love in you has been burned out or buried so deep it can never surface what does a few more sins matter. With such a precarious existence does age really matter? When the joys in life are too few as it is, if existent at all, what harm would allowing yourself enjoy such wild pleasure do?

And it had been pleasing, too pleasing. It became a daily event when both of them could be together. She'd even taken to sleeping in his bed with him, no longer leaving after their bliss was spent. He hadn't minded, at least he never alluded that he did, but he never seemed pleased either. It just was.

She'd thought her ability to love burned out of her, buried, but now she felt the sting of its blade in her heart. She hated herself for letting the dangerous emotion in, allowing it to hurt her, but at the same time the world seemed brighter, more beautiful and she found she didn't resent living as much as she had before Sasuke. She hated herself and felt reborn at the same time.

'Where are you Uchiha?' She needed him back. 

Naruto kissed her neck, caressing her curves. She absently rested her hands on his sides, stretching her neck to give his lips more room to rove. They were spread out on her sofa, the TV on but neither watching it. 

For the past month she'd allowed Naruto more freedom with their kissing, allowed him to kiss other places, caress other places, like he was doing now. She made small sighs, and absently rubbed his sides in to feign enjoyment. She didn't want him thinking she didn't want this even though she didn't.

Her reason for allowing her blond companion to increase the intimacy level of their relationship was despicable. She was terrified he'd find out about the man in the other room. She was willing to do whatever necessary to keep the blond blissfully occupied, and this definitely worked. A bomb could have went off outside and he wouldn't realize it let alone a comatose man locked in her bedroom.

Naruto was incredibly dense and easy to fool, but he was also nosey and extremely determined. If he caught a whiff of something out of place he'd sniff and bully until he found out what it was. And there was only so long Naruto could be fooled, kept at by. He was absent-minded and a bit dense but he wasn't stupid, just slow to catch on.

Sakura dreaded the day he finds out about Sasuke. She was crippled with fear at what he might do. She was certain he'd be happy, but knew he'd tell the hokage or Kakashi, and she didn't know what they'd do to the dark-haired man. She just hoped that day never came. But then what _was_ she going to do with Sasuke?

It had been one month since she found Sasuke unconscious, slumped against the door to her apartment. He'd been absolutely covered in blood, the cursed seal spread across his face and body, and he was extremely pale. She'd thought he was dead, thought her stupidity had robbed him of a chance at survival.

That night still haunted her…

_She strolled along the Konoha streets almost leisurely, kicking small stones that dared rest near her feet. She ambled along toward her apartment at a snail's pace, not yet wanting to enter her small dark apartment._

She'd run from her home with every intention of seeing Naruto, rushing to the hospital to spend time in his warm embrace. The hospital staff had looked at her as though she were insane when she requested to see her blond companion. They politely informed her that it wouldn't be possible; the hour was too late. Like an idiot she hadn't realized it was past midnight.

As she walked down the street, their horrified, pitying faces kept flashing through her mind. Their expressions had said it all. 'Poor girl. She must really be out of it…' Everyone at the hospital had stared at her, pitied her. Poor weak little Sakura can't get along without her boyfriend.

That kind of pissed her off. She hated to be thought of as weak, but more than that it had been embarrassing. She couldn't help the bright red flush that colored her cheeks at the memory of it.

What a horrible night. She had just wanted someone to talk to, to occupy her, make her forget her heartache for a while. She was even feeling desperate enough to seek out Ino, but it was so late. Her childhood friend might be awake, but most likely not. She didn't want to go knocking on the blonde girl's door at such an hour anyway.

She knew Ino would welcome her, would never complain about the hour. But honestly, Sakura had better manners than that. Her parents had taught her better than to pound on someone's door in the middle of the night for no good reason. 

'Sorry for the late hour Ino, but I had a distressful dream?' What was she a two-year old for goodness sake?

Sakura froze in her tracks. Her previous thought echoing in her mind. 'Her parents had taught her better than to pound on someone's door in the middle of the night for no good reason.'

"For no good reason." She whispered.

A sudden chill filled her, like she'd been doused with ice-cold water. Who had been at her door? Who had pounded no less than three times? Who had come to her in the middle of the night?

'Oh God what have I done?' After waking from that dream she'd been so stupidly absorbed in self-pity she hadn't stopped to think. She wanted to berate herself for her selfishness and idiocy, but there was no time. She ran for home.

A million scenarios ran through her mind of who might have been at her door as she rushed down the streets to her small apartment. She thought of reasons from something happening to her family or one of her friends, to Kakashi or Tsunade needing a favor, to an emergency mission summons…

Nothing she could think of came close to what she'd found.

That was when she'd found him. How long had he sat there in pain, waiting for her? What had happened to leave him in such a state? A million questions had run through her mind. Questions she still didn't have answers to.

She had dragged him into her apartment, allowing instinct to take over. She was a medical ninja, this was where her expertise was. Naruto and Sasuke instinctually fought, she instinctually saved. Not that she couldn't fight, she was very strong and more than capable, but instinctually she was a healer.

Everything after that was a blur. Her body just moved of its own accord, like she'd done this sort of thing a million times, and she had. Mostly in training, but she had some real life experience as well.

She had saved him that night, though how she didn't know. She was pretty sure the cursed seal had helped. In fact she suspected that without it he would have died. Well, he had died… twice, but she'd managed to bring him back. Unfortunately he never gained consciousness Even now, a month later, he lay comatose in her room.

Something about having Sasuke in the room next to where she and Naruto were groping and making out seemed wrong, completely and utterly wrong. She wanted Sasuke to kiss her like Naruto was, touch her like Naruto was, but she was allowing some other man to do it. She felt cheap.

For the first time, Naruto's touch made her feel dirty. She realized she never really wholeheartedly kissed him, but she'd never felt dirty… until one month ago.

And she didn't want Naruto to touch her so intimately, but he was. And she didn't dare stop him, but she wanted to. And she just wanted him to _stop_. She wanted Naruto near, and she didn't mind cuddling with him, but he shouldn't be touching her so intimately. It wasn't his place, that right belonged to another.

'Please stop! Please. I'm begging… _stop_!' She mentally chanted, feeling her panic rise. She couldn't breath; she felt so trapped.

She screamed out, "Stop!" And a loud _thunk_ sounded in the other room… '_Sasuke_!' 

Panic definitely settled in.

**Thanks to all for reading and reviewing!**


	10. Unplanned

Thanks to all who reviewed!

Chapter Nine: Unplanned

What a strange feeling. It felt like pieces of him had been lost, scattered about, and he was being forcefully shoved together by dozens of strong tiny hands. They pushed at him, putting more and more pressure on him, stealing his breath; and he thought he'd explode and be crushed at the same time.

The pressure was unbearable. It hurt so much he wanted to scream, and just when he thought he'd die from the pain it stopped.

Sasuke took a long cleansing breath, blinking and adjusting his eyes to a gray moonlit room. He was whole again, freed from his strange prison of hearing and feeling but not able to speak, see, or move.

He sighed in relief. 'I'm free.' He had thought himself dead, killed by the Sand's poison and sent to hell.

Only in hell would he be forced to hear Sakura crying in heart wrenching pain and be unable to do anything but feel and listen. What's worse is every time she cried it was for him or because of him, and he was helpless to stop it.

So many nights he could feel her warmth against him; hear her intermittent crying as she pleaded for him to wake, to not die… Then, like always, she curled up against him and slept.

_She sobbed quietly for what seemed an eternity to Sasuke, until she draped herself over him, cupping either side of his face with her hands. 'You can't die, not without knowing love again. You were so hurt when you left. You've been hurt for a long time… I know. If I could take it from you I would.' Her voice was a soft whisper, and he could hear the truth and desperation in it. She really loved him. He felt her rest her head on his chest, letting her hands fall limp from his face._

'Please don't leave me. Don't die. You can't die. At least with Orochimaru I had hope of seeing you again, of finding you, a hope of touching you, but if you die I'll never find you. I'll never see you again, talk to you. You'll never know how much I love you.' Her body shook against him with her soft cries. She sounded so broken. 

What torture it had been to feel her hand caressing his face, hear her soft voice whispering sweetly in his ear, her heart felt sobs… and he'd been able to do nothing. As much as he'd demanded his legs move, his mouth speak, his eyes open, they never obeyed; and so he was forced to listen to the pink haired girl, and endure the touches she so liberally bestowed on him.

He shivered at the memory. For the first time he had wanted to put his arms around her and soothe her. That thought pissed him off _and_ scared the shit out of him.

His mind recalled all those nightmares where she violently died, her accusing eyes focused on his face, spotlighting how weak he was. She always died with the same words on her lips, 'why didn't you save me?'

He didn't want any weaknesses. She was leverage against him, something to be lost, taken away, something he'd be responsible for but unable to protect… Not to mention he didn't want anybody that close to him. If he let her in she would know things about him, be able to manipulate and hurt him. She was a liability he didn't want and couldn't afford to have. That's what he kept telling himself anyway.

He turned his head against the pillow, catching a whiff of hyacinths as he leaned toward Sakura's side of the bed. He closed his eyes, reveling in the beautiful smell he associated with the pink-haired girl. After this long of having her beside him every night could he ever be without her again?

'You'll never know how much I love you.' Her musical voice played in his head. "Sakura."

"Stop!" His eyes snapped open at the voice. It was Sakura. She sounded panicked and scared.

Instinct took him over and he "launched" himself from the bed, intent on rescuing her. The results of his "heroic" impulse hadn't turned out at all like he'd planned. His muscles had refused to support him, and he'd crumpled indelicately to the floor with a loud thump.

Realizing he'd made an incredibly loud noise, he'd tuned his senses to the room her scream had originated from. He heard Sakura's voice in an angry tirade, a few good thumps, and Naruto's name screamed none too gently.

A memory of his old teammates assaulted him; Naruto screwing off followed by Sakura pounding him good with a short barked command. She always had been the best one at controlling the blond disaster.

Smiling, Sasuke no longer feared for the pink haired girl's safety. They were probably arguing, as usual, and Sakura had had to get physical with him.

Sasuke had feared his fall would draw attention to himself, but with all the racket they were making he doubted either had heard his fall. Just the same though he wanted to make sure.

He was in enemy territory with no allies. Tsunade, and therefore Konoha, wanted him dead or alive, and he wasn't going to allow either. Naruto was his old teammate and friend, but his loyalty was probably to the Hokage first, and he wasn't in any kind of shape to fight the blond right now.

He lay on the floor, unmoving; waiting to see what results his loud sprawl would birth. After several minutes of silence and no one entering, he began to concentrate on the problems at hand, the first of which were his jelly-like muscles.

His muscles had grown weak from disuse; they'd seemed to forget their programming, how they must perform for him. He'd needed to fix that. He needed to get in fighting condition quickly in case he needed to defend himself. Which was very likely.

He shot small bolts of chakra to his limbs, stimulating his muscles until he was able to stand. He went slowly at first, performing only the most minimal of movements until he felt strong enough to attempt more.

After a few Tai Chi moves and a couple of yoga poses, Sasuke felt confident enough in his muscles to move about the room.

The sound of pained groans intermittently floated to his ears from the other side of the door, and Sasuke couldn't help but wonder what the hell was going on out there.

He moved silently toward the bedroom door, stepping toe-heel like any good ninja, not needing to take into consideration the rustle of clothing since he was barely wearing any.

He glided soundlessly to the door, and very quietly, very slowly cracked the door open.

"Mmm." Sakura moaned in unison with the man above her. Her plan had worked; she'd made Naruto forget all about the noise that had come from the bedroom. Good thing too. His eyes had flashed bloody murder when she'd tensed at the unexpected boom, and she feared what the blond might do should he find a man in her room. With how angry he looked she doubted he'd even care that it was Sasuke.

Naruto had thought her frightened so he marched toward the bedroom door with stern steps; his purposeful strides leaving no doubt his intentions to pound the door in and crush the offending noisemaker.

Sakura had appreciated his protectiveness of her, it was sweet and admirable; but she'd wanted to knock him senseless. How dare he so brazenly approach her bedroom with every intention of barging in and none of asking?

She'd growled his name and thumped the nearest table a few times to stop his forward momentum, quickly and cleverly informing him that the noise had been nothing more than her bathroom shower curtain falling. She'd followed up stating that it had been falling a lot lately, and though she knew what the noise was it had still startled her.

Sakura was proud of herself for her quick excuse. She'd always been good at thinking on her feet like that. Her excuse was logical, and more than probable. But more importantly Naruto had no reason to question her word.

Worried there may be other noises coming from the room, she'd commanded him to calm down and get back to the couch.

That was the way she had to be with Naruto. She could calmly talk to him, and attempt to reason with him; but he only ever responded to her loss of temper. Sakura had learned long ago that if she needed Naruto's attention and complete cooperation she need only roughly command it and it was hers.

Naruto had blushed furiously at her forwardness, stunned into forgetting that she'd yelled at him, and sheepishly made his way back to her. He'd had no reason to question her excuse anyway; it sounded logical.

She hadn't meant to be so brazen, demanding he come back to the couch; she'd simply allowed instinct to take over, and that was the result. She'd had only a small window of opportunity to gain complete control over Naruto before he found Sasuke, and her mind chose the best way to ensure his cooperation. 

She'd needed to renew his distraction. She really wanted to send him home so she could check on Sasuke, but if she asked him to leave now, she feared it would look suspicious. His forgetfulness had already been way blessedly convenient; she didn't want to do something rash and push her luck.

"Come back Naruto." She whispered, proud of how sensual it sounded though inside she was scared shitless. She didn't want to play this game anymore, and she dreaded feeling his intimate caresses, hearing his passion-filled sighs…

Day by day Naruto's touch felt dirtier and dirtier, more and more violating, and her ability to ignore and hide those feelings was severely diminishing.

Naruto of course was the real victim here, but as time wore on she minded even less and less about that. She was losing her ability to care. Bit-by-bit she was being worn down, dying one small piece at a time.

Only one man had ever been able to dismantle her so thoroughly… Uchiha Sasuke.

At first she'd been happy to have him with her. He was alive, and he was with her. She'd talked to him animatedly every day as if he were a fully conscious willing listener. She'd tell him stories of her training, her most dangerous and exciting missions, her first date with Naruto, her first kiss, though she admitted she'd wanted it to be him. She had countless Konoha stories and she'd shared them all with him.

As days passed and he never woke, her jovial conversations soon became crying pleas. She'd kneel beside his bed, hold his hand and beg him to wake, move his hand, open his eyes, something, anything… But he never flinched. She always said to herself, 'there's always tomorrow'. Tomorrow became the next day, became the next, became the next… and he didn't wake.

Every night she lay beside Sasuke, her body touching his. She would twine her limbs around him, lay her head on him, whisper to him how much she wanted him to wake, and sometimes when she felt especially vulnerable, she'd cry.

It had been the worst torture in her entire life, a mockery of her feelings for him. She'd scorned God more than once for showing her such a cruel irony. Finally giving her the man she'd always wanted, but not actually allowing her to have him.

Last night she'd felt the world collapsing in on her as her heart felt for the first time that Sasuke was never going to wake, and her mind had begun to accept the possibility that she'd lost him forever. She'd racked her mind trying to think of what more she could do to heal him, make him wake.

She'd felt so helpless and useless. She was trained by one of the sannin, the first Hokage's granddaughter, the fifth, Tsunade-sama… Sakura knew she was one hell of a med-nin., but… there was no more she could do for him. She wasn't God.

In that moment the air felt thick and alive, heavy, weighed down by her grief, and it was threatening to crush her.

Looking at his peaceful face she'd felt a throbbing ache in her gut. He might die never knowing how much he'd meant to her. She'd told him she loved him before, had expressed her affection for him, but she didn't think he really understood just how deep rooted her love for him was. She'd felt the need to really and truly confess her heart to him, even if it was only the walls that heard her, but she hoped he would hear.

_She traced the lines of his face, wanting to commit every facet of it to memory. "I always thought you were beautiful." She whispered to him softly. "The first time I saw you I knew I wanted you for mine." _

Long ago, as a young girl, she'd vowed to do whatever was necessary to make him hers, to belong to him, and she never once relented in her pursuit of him. And though it had started as an infatuation, a crush, it had grown into more.

_"I love you." She murmured, lightly brushing some rogue strands of hair from his face._

She'd felt a desperate need to hold him entirely in her hand, wrap her fingers protectively around him letting no one and nothing touch him, not even death. But no one could keep death at bay.

_"I will _always_ love you… even if you die." She confessed, kissing him softly on the brow. "But I promise you… If you die, my heart and soul will die with you." Her fingers traced the shape of his lips, and she placed a feather light kiss on them before lying against him and falling asleep._

She felt Naruto's mouth rove her neck and collarbone. She closed her eyes, remembering the feel of Sasuke's lithe body against hers, the sound of his even breathing as he slept with her arms around him, his steady heartbeat as her head rested upon his chest.

She wanted Sasuke to wake up so badly, wanted him to put his arms around her like she did him. But every night it was Naruto's arms that held her. She had to feign intimate interest in Naruto while the man she really wanted laid one room away comatose.

Each day Sasuke didn't wake her hope of ever having him died a little more, and tonight she feared all hope was gone. 

She was stressed out; she was tired, and she just wanted Naruto to go away. That was why she'd yelled for him to stop. She'd felt too worn out from juggling Naruto's affections and burying her own to consider his feelings. She'd just hadn't had it in her. She'd wanted to be left alone to curl up next to Sasuke and waste away beside him. Then she'd heard the noise.

Her heart leapt at the thought that Sasuke might have awakened or moved, or something, and her resolve to bear with the false façade she'd built strengthened.

She only needed to pretend a little while longer with Naruto. Long enough to make sure he had no insecurities about her behavior or actions, and then she could send him home and go to Sasuke.

'Just a little more Sakura, just give a little more.'

Sasuke was extremely vexed. He was trying with all his might to control his anger and irritation. Standing still was not an option. If he stood still, he'd kill Naruto. There wasn't a doubt in his mind; he'd kill him slowly and painfully and he'd enjoy it. Or that's what he told himself.

A part of his mind challenged his thoughts, the part that had been happy at seeing the blond idiot again even though he was making out with Sakura. Sasuke was angry, there was no doubt about that; and he was definitely having murderous thoughts, but he knew he wouldn't kill Naruto. He was still wracked with guilt over their last encounter.

'There's nothing saying I won't punch him out though.'

He paced back and forth with angry, purposeful steps. He flexed his hands, swinging his arms from side to side, front to back, giving his muscles a much-needed workout. He intermittently stopped his striding to perform a squat or push-up, or some other strength exercise, only to continue his nervous repetitive gait again.

'Fight it off Sasuke. Ignore it. You don't need her. You don't want her.' He shook his head, then arms, then legs, loosening his muscles as if he were about to enter the boxing ring. Then he jumped up and down a few times, jogged in place a little, and paced some more.

'What the hell was all that shit she said to me? Why did she do that? Why did she…' Sasuke clenched his jaw, leaving the rest of his questions unasked. It didn't matter why. It was done; he needed to move on, but oh he was pissed.

'I promise you… If you die, my heart and soul will die with you.' Sakura's soft voice chimed in his head. He had _heard_ in her voice how much she loved him, had _felt_ in her voice and her touch how much he meant to her. Or so he'd thought.

He sneered, seeing her beneath Naruto, kissing him, caressing him, moaning…

Sasuke threw a few experimental punches and kicks, pleased at how hard and steady they were. He still had a long way to go to be the solid fighter he was before the Sand incident, but he was determined to make a record fast recovery. He needed to get the hell out of here.

His mind recalled the feel of her hand caressing his face, the sound of her soft voice whispering sweetly in his ear, her heart felt sobs…

He'd been able to do nothing. As much as he'd demanded his legs move, his mouth to speak, his eyes open, they never obeyed, and so he'd been forced to listen to the pink haired girl, and feel the touches she so liberally bestowed on him.

She'd brushed the hair from his face like a loving mother, kissed him softly like a wife might her husband, and said sweet endearing words to him like a true friend and sweetheart would. It wasn't fair that she teased him so ruthlessly, painfully reminding him of things once had but lost, dreamed of but now given up on, longed for but resigned to not have.

She'd made him think she loved only him, that she wanted only him. . 'The first time I saw you I knew I wanted you for mine.'

She'd kept loving him, and touching him, and lying beside him. Every stinking day she came to him, talked to him, spent time with him…

'I love you.' She had said.

He'd mentally screamed at her, frustrated and angry. He'd wanted her to go away, to shut up and leave him alone. He didn't _want_ to love her; didn't she understand that? Couldn't she get it through her head that he wasn't meant to love? To be loved?

He'd been so angry with her. He'd wanted to shake her, yell at her, push her away… He wanted to leave and go back to Orochimaru's, do another mission, kill, maim, beat… He would murder countless victims if it would get her out of his system, quiet her crying and pleading, burn away her touch…

He stopped in his pacing and slowly lowered himself to the floor. "Sakura." He whispered; her name painfully ripped from the very core of his being. 'What have you done to me?'

'I will _always_ love you…' He clenched his fists, pressing them and his forehead into her floor, trying with all his might to not punch and kick everything in sight.

'My heart and soul will die with you.' Her voice echoed in his head.

She'd lied. He wanted to roar. There was so much anger boiling inside him he thought he'd explode. 'You lied!' He stood up then and began furiously pacing his same route again, as if he were truly trying to outrun her voice, his memory of her.

The sounds of moaning and panting, though barely audible, pounded in his ears, following his every footstep like a dark shadow as he tread the same pattern over and over again across the floor. He'd had to listen to them for the past god knew how long, but it seemed like an eternity.

'Shut up!' He mentally commanded.

'How could she have said those things, and then run straight into Naruto's arms? How could she curl up next to _me_ every night and then seek affections from Naruto?' He hissed through his teeth, throwing himself to the floor and into a violent fit of push-ups. It was another desperate attempt to chase her from his mind, and fight his ever-growing rage.

His arms shook violently, straining to lift his weight in another push-up. The thought that he might be overdoing it crossed Sasuke's mind, but only briefly, and then it only wrought irritation. 'Only the weak quit, only the weak need coddling, only the weak can't do one-more-push-up…' He chanted to himself, a silent drill instructor. He needed to get his strength back, and that wasn't going to happen by cosseting himself.

He closed his eyes, blocking out everything around him and concentrated. 'Do more. Push more. Be more' Pushing his endurance to the limit he performed move after move. Nothing existed but the training, no one existed but him. There were no limits. He had _no_ limits.

He heard Orochimaru's raspy voice in his head. 'She's a weakness, a liability. Look at yourself, willing to expose yourself to your enemy over a jealous fit… over a girl… _weak_.' Hearing the words he felt in his heart spoken by his master spurred him to work harder, do more.

Sasuke felt a comforting warmth spread through him radiating from his cursed seal. He recognized his master's touch immediately. His master sensed his loyalty, knew he was alive and wanted to make his way back to the Sound, back home. Orochimaru was giving him support.

His master was encouraging him to train hard, to do what needed to be done to get home. His master was letting him know he had faith in him.

Sasuke found Orochimaru's touch reassuring. He was alone deep in the heart of enemy territory; an enemy he knew had an order out for his death or capture, and he was weakened. Sasuke knew his strength had grown immensely since he'd left Konoha, and his fighting skills had exponentially improved; but he wasn't confident enough to think he could bully his way through all of Konoha should he be found out. His master however, thought him more than capable; and he was letting him know. Sasuke was grateful.

The seal was a connection between himself and the sannin; he could feel Orochimaru's desires through it, and the snake in turn could feel Sasuke's. It had been part of him for years now, and Sasuke was used to it.

He closed his eyes, allowing his master's soothing touch to calm his nerves. The snake had trained Sasuke so hard since he'd been at the Sound, pushed him to his limits and far beyond, showed him the power that lay inside him, taught him how to use it, battle-hardened him…

Sasuke concentrated on his past training, on Orochimaru's tutelage. The snake didn't tolerate failure. If the sannin said you had to do something, or ordered you to do something, you did it or you paid the price. And the consequences were very far from pleasant.

Sasuke smiled, suddenly finding the exercises easier. 'I can do this. I _have_ to do this.'

Sure as Sasuke could be praised through the seal, he could be punished. When he'd first arrived at the Sound he'd hesitated to kill someone on a mission. He hadn't wanted to kill; he'd contemplated capture, a painful lesson, but he hadn't thought to end the woman's life. And when the order came to kill her he hadn't wanted to. He'd felt sympathy in his heart for the crying female, and for that moment he questioned his loyalty to his knew master… That was the first and last time he _ever_ questioned whether or not leaving Konoha had been the best thing to do.

He'd been punished through the seal that day, given the most excruciating pain he'd ever felt for hours on end. The snake had delivered sharp stabbing pain after sharp stabbing pain on top of a constant throbbing ache that vibrated from marrow to the surface of his skin. Sasuke had passed out more than once, but the torture never let up. It had started at night, and ended long after the sun came up the next day. Orochimaru wanted to make sure he was understood… He was. 

The woman he'd refused to kill had been captured, brought to the Sound and tied up. After Sasuke had been thoroughly punished, he'd been taken to the woman and ordered to slit her throat… He'd done it.

That murder still weighed heavily on him. She'd been tied up, helpless, and he'd killed her. Of all the people he'd murdered, she haunted him the most. Most of the deaths he'd caused didn't bother him in the slightest, but hers did… a lot.

Screwing his eyes closed as tight as he possibly could, he tried to chase off the sound of the woman's pleading cries, eradicate the image of her lifeless eyes, eliminate the feel of the blood on his hands. There had been a lot of blood.

Sasuke was panting now, feverishly pushing himself, demanding just one more over and over again, as if he could sweat out his inner demons. His muscles were bulging from being worked so hard, trembling as they systematically broke done. Sweat coated his entire body and dripped from his brow, as he threw all his angst into his moves, pushing and pushing, exerting himself to points beyond reason.

His mind successfully chased away the memory of the woman he murdered, only to be replaced by images of Naruto in a passionate embrace with Sakura, roving hands, twining limbs… moaning.

He wanted to scream. She was supposed to be his. She made him believe she was his. He'd relished in the belief that if he had no one, he had Sakura. Some time during his strange sleep-like state he'd grown used to her presence, found comfort in it, looked forward to it…

It seemed an eternity he'd been begging her to leave him alone, to get away from him, but she never did. As a young boy he'd tried to ignore her, as a teen he'd tried to make her hate him, leaving for Orochimaru's he'd had to physically subdue her, and this time… this time he hadn't been able to fight back, hadn't been able to _protect_ himself against her emotional assault.

He _couldn't_ run from her or yell at her… or knock her out like he had before. He'd been forced to hear the longings of her soul, forced to listen to her agonized cries, forced to bare her soft loving touch, and aside from the murdering of his entire clan it had been the most painful thing he'd ever experienced in his life.

She had systematically wrecked him; tore down his defenses, repeatedly touched his heart in places he hadn't allowed since the death of his clan, nor would he have if he could have prevented it. But he couldn't prevent it, and now his soul was bared and raw.

Now he didn't want to be without her. He relished feeling her soft even breathing ghosting across his skin as she lay her head on his chest, the beating of her heart as she lay pressed against him, the warmth of her arm as it rested across him, and the comfort of her presence. To lose her would feel like the death of his clan all over again. He wanted her. He was scared to death of having her, but he was more scared of not having her. 

'Dammit. Why couldn't she have just left me alone.'

'Why, why, why.' He could ask why all day long, but the answers didn't matter. They wouldn't change that he wanted her; that he felt that he needed her, and that she belonged to him. Knowing why wouldn't change any of his feelings, so why didn't matter. Nothing did… except Sakura.

'She's mine, not Naruto's or anyone else's.' He pushed himself from the floor, striding toward the door with newfound purpose, determined to rip Naruto bodily from Sakura. After that they could talk, but not before.

Sakura kissed Naruto deeply, groping his back as he groaned in pleasure. Her eyes were closed, imagining the man above her had ebony hair, onyx eyes, a deep sultry voice… She melted beneath him, opening herself to him fully for the first time.

She imagined Sasuke whispering her name over and over again, as he made love to her neck with his mouth, passionately caressed the curves of her body… "Mmm." She groaned, feeling the Uchiha's name on her tongue -

"Sakura." The voice shocked her. It wasn't the one she'd been expecting, and the reality of the situation slammed into her.

She blushed realizing how far she'd have let him go before realizing he wasn't Sasuke. That thought was frightening. Before she heard Naruto say her name she'd been mentally begging him to go farther, to not stop…

"Naruto. Maybe we should stop. I think we're going too far too fast. Please. Let's just call it a night. Okay?" She was shaking.

Naruto lifted his head from its burrow in the crook of her neck. He looked at her, blinking his eyes several times as if trying to remember where he was. She watched his eyes deglaze with sudden recognition. It was impossible to miss the disappointment on his face, though she got the feeling it was reflexive and not for her benefit.

With slightly reddened cheeks he removed his hands from some very intimate places. "Alright Sakura-chan." He answered, nodding his head numbly, as if he too had been surprised at how far they were willing to go.

Sakura no more than closed the door behind Naruto when her bedroom door flew open revealing an almost naked Sasuke.

Her mouth gaped at the sight of him. His black eyes looked fierce. His skin glistened with sweat, and she noticed his chest heaving with panting breaths. She couldn't help but find the sight enticing. He certainly was beautiful.

'He's alive!' She mentally celebrated.


	11. Tainted Love

**Reviewer Replies:** Thanks to all. Reviews are always appreciated. 

**Disclaimer:** Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

**Chapter Ten: Tainted Love**

There were two things Sakura was sure of: one, she was completely, irrevocably, undeniably, and so unfortunately in love with Uchiha Sasuke. And two, much to her dismay it seemed she was forever cursed to love the dark haired genius unrequitedly. How simple, easy, and wonderful her life could be if only she could bring herself to fall in love with Uzamaki Naruto. 

It wasn't the first time she'd contemplated what her life might be like if she could only let go of Sasuke and accept another; and it certainly wasn't the first time she came to the conclusion that pondering such a thing was ridiculous. She was so in love with the dark haired genius that any thought contrary was nothing short of laughable.

She stood above her bed, arms hanging limp, eyes lifeless, body tired, soul… weary. The entire room was just as it should be… dark and silent, a thundering void of sound and pitch black surroundings. It was a perfect match to how she felt… lonely and dead.

She stared down upon her bed with lifeless eyes. Without _him_ in it the damned thing seemed so oversized, so cold, so… empty. Mechanically, she began stripping off her outer garments, revealing a small shorts and top set. As if walking to the gallows, she crawled between the sheets and readied herself for a sleep she knew would be slow in coming.

Slowly, almost of its own accord, her hand sought the hollow dip that once held Sasuke, it crawled across the bed tentatively as if afraid of what it would find. She waited to feel hot bare skin, but only met cold emptiness. 

The moon peaked out from its curtain of clouds gently illuminating the room. She squinted as light hit her eyes, grit her teeth in irritation. Sakura could feel her temper rising, inner Sakura was growling. She hated the light. It was unwelcome, and though it was well-filtered and barely peaking in, it seemed a spotlight to her, mocking her solitude… _intruding_. It was just like Naruto, couldn't leave well enough alone. Didn't know when to go away. She gripped her pillow with angry frustrated fingers, hearing the scraping sound of straining cloth as her nails raked its surface in attempt to squeeze tighter.

She hated the world right now, hated being _in_ the world. The tears were coming; she could feel the tickle in her nose as she fought to hold them back, and the hot moisture on her cheeks as she lost the battle. 'Dammit,' she silently swore. 'Of course weak little Sakura would cry now.' She mentally scorned herself, but the tears only came harder. She violently threw the pillow across the room.

Normally, in such a situation she'd feel the urge to run to Naruto, let him chase away her demons, her sadness, her everything, but not this time. For the first time in a long time the urge to run to Naruto was nonexistent. In fact the thought of seeing him only irritated her. If it weren't for him Sasuke might still be with her.

She'd had him. He'd been right in front of her, like a dream. She'd had so much she wanted to say to him, so many things she wanted to ask, but she was only able to get out his name before a knock came on the door. 

Naruto had come to her concerned about their earlier actions, wanted to apologize, said it had been bothering him. He had looked awfully worried, like he'd ruined everything or really hurt her. She worked fast to convince Naruto that everything was okay, but his concern was not easily erased. He kept claiming he could sense that something was wrong. Eventually she'd gotten angry with him, screamed she was fine, and demanded he leave her alone. That was what it had taken to get rid of him.

By the time she'd shooed Naruto out the door, Sasuke was gone.

Naruto had come to her again, the morning after Sasuke's awakening; he was bright, cheerful, bringing a bagged breakfast for the two of them to share. She had politely told him she wasn't feeling well, was really tired, and wanted to be alone for a while to rest. Normally Naruto would have listened and obeyed, but he'd thought she was avoiding him because of the night before. 

Sakura tried to reassure him that it was nothing of the sort, which was partly true, but Naruto wouldn't believe it. He pushed and pushed; granted, he sounded worried he'd really hurt her, but dammit as sweet as his concern was she needed alone time!

_"Naruto please… I'm begging you. Just leave me alone. Go find Hinata. She's heartbroken over you dating me. She's a sweet girl; open up your eyes and see her. You'd be good for each other. Just forget about me." She'd just started ranting like a mad woman, involuntarily of course. She'd felt herself on the verge of breakdown. She didn't want him there for that. He'd try to comfort her, and she didn't want that. She didn't want anything from him but solitude._

No longer did she want Naruto's arms around her, not unless it was in friendship, and even then she didn't want it now, maybe not ever. As long as he believed he was her boyfriend, his comfort and his touch would feel violating. She was done with all of that, done pretending, done hiding, done playing with him… just done__

"Just go away." She commanded him. Her voice was flat, resigned, but every bit serious. When he was quiet, she added more. "I'll talk to you tomorrow Naruto. I know you don't understand, but I can't talk to you about it right now. Please… just give me some time." This time her voice was soft and caring. She didn't want to hurt him anymore. She was going to come clean, tell him everything, hopefully still have his friendship, but not today. Today she needed time. 

His familiar smile lit his face, and strangely enough she couldn't help but give him one herself. Only he could have forced a genuine smile out of her in such a moment. Well… he and one other. The thought of the other erased her smile quickly enough. Thank goodness Naruto's back was turned for that.

Convinced she'd be okay, he left with a bounce in his step and a sniff to the fresh clean air. Sakura shook her head as she watched him. He loved life so much, was pleased by the littlest things. Some would call him simple for that. She thought him lucky. She envied such a carefree attitude. 

Sighing, she closed the door and made for her couch. She wasn't ready to face her empty bedroom yet. She couldn't even bring herself to sleep in her bed the night he'd_ left. So she sat on the couch staring at a blank TV, and there she stayed for hours, until she finally came to her bedroom. _

Memories of Sasuke's comforting presence played through her head. She remembered his warmth, his even breathing, strong heartbeat… God she missed him. Curling in on herself, she sobbed until sleep finally took pity on her.

He stalked around her bed, never taking his eyes from her. He looked every bit a predator of the night, an ethereal deadly creature with stark contrasting alabaster skin and impossibly dark eyes. He was dressed in all black, silent in his footsteps, and frighteningly powerful in his grace. Any onlooker might fear for the innocent pink-haired girl he so intensely studied exposed to one who appeared every bit the seductive vampire.

Sakura had drawn him back; somehow she'd called him back to her. He'd already passed the Konoha gates, and was well into the surrounding forest when he felt an impossibly strong urge to turn around, like he was under some sort of spell or jutsu. His return journey almost felt against his will, like he was a puppet being controlled.

He flexed his fingers, alternating between tight fists and outstretched hands. He was extremely irritated at being in her presence again. He looked at her slightly parted mouth, her beautiful cherry lips… It had been so damned hard to leave her; it had near killed him to do it, but he had, and now, inexplicably he was back. What the hell was it with this woman?

He paced before her bed like a caged tiger, intent on escape, but unable to leave. He mentally screamed, feeling the emotional hooks Sakura had so securely stabbed into him holding him down, securing him to her. He wanted to jump on the bed, wrap his fingers around her neck and squeeze until her influence left him, until she let him go.

He needed to get back to Orochimaru, needed to get away from Konoha, needed to pay that little prick Gaara and his siblings a visit, needed to kill Itachi… His eyes cut through the air to land on the beautiful kunoichi. She looked so innocent, not at all the cunning witch that had so entranced him. 

'Why?' He felt like he was going to explode. Why couldn't she love Naruto or Lee, or _someone_, anyone but him. He was extremely resentful of her love, but at the same time the thought of being without it left him feeling emptier than he ever thought he could.

She had so thoroughly fucked with him while he was unconscious he couldn't leave her, stay away from her. She had screwed with him in a most intimate and emotional way. It bothered him. He felt strangely violated, like she crawled inside him and seeped into every corner of his being. He couldn't help but see her as an enemy that attacked him, weakened him, manipulated him… 'What have you done to me?'

Mentally he was sobbing, screaming, pounding the floor, breaking things as her violations pounded through his mind.

_'I always thought you were beautiful.'_ He could still feel the touch of her hand on his face. _'The first time I saw you I knew I wanted you for mine.'_ The delicate caress of her fingers as she brushed hairs from his brow. _'I love you.'_

God he wanted her touch, wanted to touch her back. She was everything he'd lost so many years ago. He felt for her what he thought he could never feel again. It was wonderful, terrifying, and it definitely pissed him off. He hadn't planned this dammit.

_'I will always love you… even if you die. But I promise you… If you die, my heart and soul will die with you.' _Would her voice and words forever follow him around like this? Would the memory of her touches haunt him the rest of his days?

He felt absolutely destroyed. What would Orochimaru say if he knew that a young woman with sweet words and gentle touches could defeat one of his top ninja? He felt like a stranger in his own body, like a second soul had invaded him and shoved his real self into a dark corner, only to watch in horror as it systematically ruined everything he'd built this past two years.

He looked down on Sakura's sleeping form, and for the first time since he'd come back to her he really saw her. She was curled in on herself, huddled in fetal position as if she'd fallen asleep in great pain. The moon highlighted her face, making visible steaks of long dried tears.

He'd always known it, always said it, but never before had he truly felt it like he did now… he was a bastard. It was because of him she'd cried, because of him she was so pitifully curled in upon herself as if reaching out for a comforting presence and finding none.

It was a scene that radiated vulnerability, loneliness, hurt… and he immediately hated himself. He wanted to hold her, stroke her hair, protect her, undo all the hurt he'd caused… 'I don't want her to hurt her anymore!' He mentally roared.

As if pulled by an invisible leash, he reluctantly made his way to the side of her bed, looking every bit a wild animal held against his will. His steps were slow; they appeared forced, painful…

He sat on the bed, his back to her face, and stared blankly out the window. He was trapped. Outside the air was cool, outside the sky was clear and full of stars, outside most of Konoha was asleep. He should be back out there, on the road, traveling home… Only moments ago he had been. 

Sasuke sighed placing his head in his hands. 'What the hell do I do now?'

"Sasuke."

He turned at the sound of her soft whisper; his name sounding like a longing cry, a plea. "Don't." She whimpered, and he watched in horror as tears began seeping from her closed lids. She was still sleeping… Even in her sleep he haunted her.

He closed his eyes, sucking in a deep breath. His emotions were a mess, internally warring with each other. He stood from his seat on her bed, and began pacing again something that was quickly becoming a habit where she was concerned. 

It felt like everyone and everything was pulling at him, yanking him in different directions. He was the only one that could heal Sakura, the only one that could kill Itachi, make him pay for his crimes, stop him from hurting others. He was the only one that Orochimaru wanted as a vessel; he lived and breathed only because Orochimaru deemed it okay. He _belonged_ to the snake sannin. His master could kill him at any time through the seal.

He ran his hands through his hair, grasping them behind his neck and allowing his elbows to fall freely. It was an action that clearly showed his agitation if his pacing a small circle didn't.

How was he supposed to do it all? What happened to the Sasuke that had been willing to leave her behind, to the Sasuke that had given up everything to finish his goals?

He looked at her slumbering figure, his gaze drawn to one delicate hand that peaked out from the covers. It was curled up as if trying to grasp something invisible. It reminded him of a child, and suddenly Sakura seemed so small and fragile.

He knelt down beside the bed, placing his hand over hers, closing his larger fist around her smaller one. He rested his forehead on their clasped hands. 'Sakura.' He'd caused her so much pain. He hadn't wanted to, had never meant to; hell he'd even tried to prevent it by pushing her away. She just always refused to go. 

'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' God his heart ached. He'd never meant to hurt her or Naruto; it had just happened that way. They _were_ important to him; he _did_ care about them. But he couldn't stay with them… then or now.

He wanted so much to let himself go, to give himself to her, but she had to know that he wouldn't stay, couldn't stay. His life was not his own. As long as Orochimaru existed, he could never give her what she wanted.

He was so much more at peace with Orochimaru. The thought of living in Konoha, of going back to the way things were, sounded appalling to him. It was a fate he feared worse than death. He hated Konoha, full of smiles and laughter and… friendship. He'd never felt like he belonged, always felt separated from everyone. It had always been his cage; one he never regretted escaping.

Sasuke had given himself to Orochimaru willingly, and quite truthfully he couldn't bring himself to regret that decision. He wasn't ashamed of who he was. He had needed what Orochimaru gave him, strength, support, confidence, experience... He _still_ needed that. His anger and hurt was too great to be undone so quickly and easily, and until it was gone, dealt with, he'd be no companion for anyone.

He was grateful to her for the endearing words she'd bestowed upon him, grateful to have felt her caring touch, grateful to her for making him feel so loved, something he hadn't felt since his clan's massacre. But… he couldn't return that favor. Perhaps in a different life, perhaps if circumstances had been different… 

Gently, fondly, he traced the lines of her eyes… her nose… her… mouth. Slowly he leaned in and placed a chaste kiss upon her lips. "I would have made you mine." He whispered, meaning every word, rising from his kneeling position to leave… again.

He stood at her bedroom door for what seemed an eternity, staring at her sleeping form. Good God he couldn't do it. He knew he had to leave, knew there was no possible way for him to stay with her. He had one reason to stay with her, but five not to.

There was so much standing in their way. Orochimaru, Itachi, the Sand, Konoha… But he wanted her. He could no longer fight against it. The damned woman had ripped down all his defenses, and God help him he wanted her.

He walked to her bedside again, needing one last look.

He couldn't take his eyes from her sleeping face. She looked so peaceful, so pure, so… beautiful. For a small moment in time he wanted to crawl out of his shell and show her how much she really meant to him. What he could show her if he weren't Uchiha Sasuke the avenger, Orochimaru's assassin, possession and future vessel… 

'Just what the hell have you done to me Sakura?' He silently asked, lying down beside her, his chest to her back. He closed his eyes, holding her against him, breathing her in. He really did love her.

Her body unwound, lessened in its protective curl allowing him to pull her to him, unconsciously reveling in the comfort of his embrace.

He crushed her to him, holding her tight, mentally wishing he could stay there with her, be hers. She wanted to belong to him, but he wanted to belong to her too. He longed to have someone to anchor him and love him. He wanted all the things she did, maybe even more, but… He'd have to go back to the Sound sometime…

Sasuke buried his face in the nape of her neck, inhaling the scent of her hair… 'hyacinths'. He loved that smell. He loved it because it was _her_ smell.

For once he wanted to forget about everything else, forget anything else existed, and just be with her. It might not be forever. It might only be an hour, a day, a week… However long he could, he wanted to be with her.

She barely stirred beside him as he held her close and nuzzled her hair. She was sleeping soundly, and soon so was he. 

A/N: I ended it here, because I didn't really want to give you guys the usual cliffhanger.


	12. Convergence Part I

**Reviewer Replies:** Thanks to all. Reviews are always appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

**Chapter Eleven: Convergence Part I **

Naruto wasn't able to sleep. Hell, he hadn't been able to do much of anything since that special night with Sakura-chan. All he could think about was the touch of her lips, the feel of her skin… He grinned like an idiot remembering her moans and sighs, but just as quickly he frowned remembering her strange words yesterday.

_'Naruto please… I'm begging you. Just leave me alone. Go find Hinata. She's heartbroken over you dating me. She's a sweet girl; open up your eyes and see her. You'd be good for each other. Just forget about me.'_

He scowled in confusion. 'What the hell is up with her anyway?'

_'I'll talk to you tomorrow Naruto. I know you don't understand, but I can't talk to you about it right now. Please… just give me some time.'_

"Grph" The derisive snort brought him from his musings. "What?" He spat angrily at the caged girl.

"The idiotic looks that keep crossing your face." She drawled arrogantly. She'd been watching him for about an hour, and in that time a kaleidoscope of expressions crossed his face: Fat-lipped pouting, childish scowling, silly grins, painful thinking, but what she'd seen the most of was a sort of infatuated-puppy dog smile. It was all actually quite amusing. He scowled at her. "Like I care what _you_ think." He growled. She laughed… hard. This was going to be fun. She was great at reading people, and this guy would bite at anything. "You aren't the sharpest shuriken in the tool belt are ya?" She asked, her eyes gleaming with mirth.

Naruto grit his teeth and tightened his hands into fists. Why did everyone call him stupid? She watched his anger spike at her small comment. 'So easy.' "Sensitive shit aren't ya? If a few comments are all it takes to send you off the edge then…" She let her comment hang in the air unfinished, wanting to see how he'd respond. She'd sounded nonchalant, but her words implied he was a crybaby.

Naruto saw her eyes twinkle with amusement. 'Bitch was enjoying this.' A little voice deep inside Naruto's head told him the proper response would be no response, or better yet, a smile and a laugh to let her know her comments weren't really affecting him. But that sensible voice was buried _very_ deep, and was quickly drowned out by a more prominent louder voice. "Then _what_?" He asked in what he thought was a venomous voice, but actually sounded petulant.

The female nin mentally smiled. This blonde guy entertained the shit out of her. He was so easy to bait, and he wore his emotions openly. She'd never seen anything like him. "You're not really a ninja are you?" She asked, looking very serious, like she stumbled on something that was supposed to be a secret.

He was trying to ignore her. She was purposely trying to aggravate him, so he should just not react to her, but he could feel his temper rising, and soon it was going to blow. He tamped down the loud mouth boy that was not too subtly suggesting he kick her ass, and held his silence. This time he wouldn't bite. He refused. He wasn't going to give her what she wanted, even though he practically had to chew your tongue off to accomplish it. He glanced at her arrogantly smirking face. He _really_ wanted to give in and yell at her, or smack her, or knock her upside the head, or…

Sensing his resistance, she threw out another comment. "I wouldn't have teased had I known you were a regular town's boy that couldn't handle it. I'd thought you were a Konoha ninja." Bitch had the audacity to actually look sorry. Tayuya watched the blonde's eyebrow twitch in irritation and barely restrained rage. She only knew he was angry because she could feel it rolling off him in waves. Were she to judge by looks alone she'd think he was pouting. Maybe he was doing both. His eyes were narrowed, arms crossed over his chest, bottom lip sticking out… She laughed out loud… _again_.

"Wha- huhuhu." Naruto had started to scream _what_, but quickly disguised it as a cough, or tried to. He grew silent, and after shooting a few more pokes, which he ignored, she grew silent too.

What was the fun if all he was going to do was pout? It was her turn to sulk now. Her entertainment had been ruined, her game foiled. 'Damn it' She hoped Kabuto secured Sasuke by now, so they could hurry up and bust her ass out of here. She had acted as a decoy, distracting the Konoha ninja so he could more safely enter the village. Between Orochimaru's spies, the cursed seal, and their investigation, they had tracked Sasuke to the Leaf. They knew he was here, and Kabuto was going to escort him home.

Naruto kept staring at the musical note on her forehead protector. He wanted to know, wanted to ask, but he was kind of afraid to hear the answers. 'Sasuke…' Most likely she wouldn't answer anyway. Perhaps he could work some clue out of her, work his way up to finding out about Sasuke.

"What?" She snapped. She'd been trying to mind her own business and get lost in her thoughts, but those big blue eyes kept staring at her. They were constantly on her, and it was starting to bother her.

"You work for Orochimaru?" She raised her eyebrows at him; her look silently asking if he was extremely mentally deficient. "Do you work for the Hokage?" She shot back at him.

'Okay. Stupid question.' "Do you have one of those- Naruto waved his hand around his neck. "-cursed seal things?" His voice and manner were all conversational. There was nothing petulant or deceitful in his mannerism or his voice. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Why did he all of a sudden want to talk? His voice was soft, casual conversation like, and he seemed genuinely interested in her. It was a bit unsettling, like he was going to turn all mister nice guy or something. Nice guys made her nervous.

She studied his face, noticing some strange sort of light in his eyes. He seemed excited, like a child waiting up to see Santa. He was looking at her so intently, like her answer was important in some way. She didn't know how it could be. If she had a cursed seal it shouldn't mean anything to him. Not to excite him anyway. It's not like the answer would benefit Konoha, or hurt her or Orochimaru any. She looked away from him, hugging her knees. He was making her _very_ uncomfortable.

"You don't have to be ashamed. And you don't have to answer. But I bet you do have one." She heard a change in his voice, heard him shift his position. He sounded concerned he'd upset her. 'What the hell is up with this guy?' She risked a quick peak at him. He was hugging his knees, sort of rocking back and forth. His eyes were glazed as if in deep thought, or memory. "My friend was attacked by Orochimaru, given a cursed seal." His eyes were dulled with reminiscence, as if a painful memory was currently haunting him. She waited for more information, but none was forthcoming.

"Okay. I'm listening." Her voice was wary. He seemed so harmless. She didn't like that. No ninja should seem harmless. He was idiotic, overly emotional, overly trusting… He was everything a ninja shouldn't be, and yet he was a ninja. Why? He had to have some sort of talent somewhere.

"What more is there to say? Orochimaru wanted him; Orochimaru got him." Yeah it sounded simple and clean cut, but his voice was filled with regret and sorrow. It didn't sound like he viewed it in such a detached manner. Profound sadness radiated from him, and she actually felt kind of bad for picking on him. 'Strange.' There were very few things in life she felt sorry for. That was a luxury she'd lost a long time ago. But for some reason this idiot blond had an effect on her.

"Yes." The answer flew from her mouth before she could even consider not answering. Perhaps there was more to this Konoha nin that she was willing to see. Bastard looked at her and smiled then. It wasn't a cocky smile, or even a false smile. It was real. She blushed feeling incredibly uncomfortable. She'd never encountered anyone that was genuinely nice before. _He_ was genuinely nice. There wasn't a false thing about him. She'd looked, and couldn't find anything. He was exactly as he seemed.

For some reason Tayuya imagined what he'd be like as a Sound nin. She pictured a withering flower, a dried up stream, a caged bird… It would kill him. He wasn't cut out for that type of life.

"Do you know many other Sound nins?" He asked, encouraged by her simple, no maliciousness attached answer.

"…"

"Okay, that was another stupid question. Is there a ninja there named Uchiha Sasuke?" He asked.

So that's what this was about… Sasuke. Once again Tayuya studied him a moment. His posture had straightened, and he had this sitting-on-the-edge-of-his-seat patience about him as he stared at her with hopeful eyes waiting for the answer. It reminded her of a puppy, panting and wagging its tail as it waited for a table scrap.

She contemplated what she should say to him. If she should even say _anything_ to him. She couldn't see where answering was compromising the Sound or helping Konoha, but at the same time she was a captured nin, an enemy; wasn't it some sort of unwritten law that she wasn't supposed to answer their questions? Of course this guy _obviously_ wasn't an interrogator. She smirked imagining him laughing the answer from someone or talking them to death.

She watched Naruto's posture fall. He slumped in the small wooden chair perched outside her cell, hanging his head, and looking more crestfallen than anyone had a right to. She must have taken too long to answer, so he thought she wasn't going to. For some reason it pleased her knowing that the power to make him smile or frown lay within her grasp. She felt so in control, and never mind that she was the prisoner. She'd never had the power to do much of anything before. Not of her own free will anyway. Well… except… _that_, with Sasuke. She may have blushed a little with that last thought.

"I know him." She sighed, and Naruto's head whipped to face her wide-eyed before he became ecstatic, bouncing in his chair with childlike glee. She smiled as an incredibly foreign feeling welled up inside her and she felt… happy. She felt happy. _Real_ happiness. "I know him well." She threw out hopefully, mentally wishing this would please him, as if her happiness hung on his approval.

"Is he doing well? Is he strong? Is he taller than me now? Has he mentioned me? Is he fat? It'd be real great if he were fat." He imagined Sakura's face when a fat Sasuke showed up alongside Naruto's buff form. Wouldn't that just piss the Uchiha off. "Is he okay? Is Orochimaru mean to him?" The questions just flew from his mouth; one right after the other, spoken so fast not one of them was decipherable.

"What's your name?" She asked, interrupting his blabber.

"Uzamaki Naruto. Future Hokage of Konoha." She raised her eyebrows at that. A big dream not likely to come true, but she no longer felt like making fun of him so she just nodded. "Well Uzamaki. He's about six foot tall, lean, muscular, and he's _incredibly_ strong." She watched his big blue eyes, hoping to see them glisten with pleasure, hoping her answer gave him a little bit of happiness. Though why he cared so much about the cold Uchiha was a mystery nagging at her mind.

Naruto soaked it all in, his face looking for all the world like he'd just been given an extremely precious gift. "So he isn't fat huh?" She laughed at that. 'No, he definitely wasn't fat.' "What was he to you?" She asked, curious at how close the two must have been. She didn't think the Uchiha would have had anyone close to him. This much already was a surprise.

"He's like a brother to me, my best friend." The sadness rolled off him, and Tayuya wondered if there was something about Sasuke she'd missed. Sure, she was close to him, in a way, but this, with Naruto, seemed… different, stronger. It certainly didn't seem like a relationship the Uchiha was capable of. She noted the pain in his voice, and didn't miss how he kept referring to Sasuke as still in the living. As far as she knew, Konoha considered him dead.

_Kakashi and his loyal dogs had searched for Sasuke's body for weeks on end, unable to find one. Kakashi had considered that encouraging until further talks with the Sand siblings had revealed just exactly what poison they'd used, and how much of it they'd hit his ex-student with. He could see no possible way Sasuke could have survived. _

"Would it surprise you to hear he's dead?" Kakashi asked, his voice neutral. He watched her face closely for any sort of reaction. He wondered if she'd be upset by the news. He wanted to see if Sasuke had meant anything to any of them. Wondered, if at the end, his student had anyone or anything that cared about him? "Killed by our Sand allies over a month ago." His face didn't show how much saying those words had hurt, but he'd felt them keenly. Voicing Sasuke's death aloud had somehow solidified his student's fate in his mind, brought to life the thoughts that had silently been eating him from the inside out. He didn't want this manipulative bitch to see his pain; it wasn't for her to see anyway. It was too close to him, too personal.

Tayuya's face was expressionless. It gave nothing away. No sadness or anger, no happiness… nothing, but her eyes bore into his, as if she were searching him for the same thing he was searching for in her. Irrationally, Kakashi wanted to hurt her, strangle her. The Sound had taken Sasuke from him. Sasuke had been his to guide and protect, his to shape and teach, and dammit he'd gotten pretty close to the dark haired boy. Sasuke had been nothing to the Sound, her reaction, or lack thereof confirmed it. He'd meant nothing to them, not like he'd been to him, and to Naruto and Sakura. Now he was gone. Why did they have to take him?

He met the girl's analytical stare, but showed her no emotion. He was feeling pretty distraught, but first and foremost he was a ninja of Konoha; and ninja of Konoha didn't show emotions. Regardless of his lack of expression, the girl seemed to sense something within him.

"Your allies killed him? That must have disrupted the friendship between your countries." Kakashi narrowed his eyes at her accusation, not missing the thick sarcasm that laced her voice. She was accusing Konoha as being part of his death. But then it was true wasn't it? Konoha had been part of his death. The hokage herself had ordered it. In fact they were the primary blame. Had Tsunade not ordered it the Sand wouldn't have went after him.

"He hated Konoha ya know. I can see why. You're a bunch of hypocrites. You're going to blame his death on Orochimaru. If he wouldn't have stolen Sasuke away he'd still be alive right? Blah. Blah. Blah." Her voice was low, monotone. She was still using her schooled expressionless face and voice.

"It's true though isn't it?" Kakashi asked. "I wonder what part you had in leading him away?" The copy ninja also kept his face and voice schooled to indifference.

Something about that statement rubbed her the wrong way. The silver haired ninja didn't know it, but she had been a bit part in leading him away. "Again with the accusations. You ordered his death, not me, and now you're wondering if I'm upset? Look in the mirror! I didn't kill him. I was his teammate!" She spat, rather annoyed with the venom that laced her voice. Sasuke wasn't dead. She knew he wasn't dead, so why was she letting this man bait her?

The truth of those words pissed him off, and he smacked her… hard, sending her sprawling to the floor. He'd known about the order to capture or kill Sasuke. He'd known and he allowed it. He was even going to take his own team out to carry out the mission, on the Hokage's orders of course, but like any good ninja he was preparing to succeed, and the guilt of that weighed on him. Tayuya got to her knees, blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. She smiled, and spit at him. "And what was he to you Kakashi?" He didn't miss the way she emphasized his name. It was a tactic to let him know she knew exactly what he'd been to Sasuke.

He'd thrown her in a cell and left. He'd deal with her another time, and next time he wouldn't be so friendly.

Tayuya studied his face, his big blue eyes. He was sad, there was no hiding it; not that he was capable anyway, but there was a certain gleam of happiness in his bright blue orbs. 'He's like a brother to me, my best friend.' Sasuke really was important to him. Her small piece of news was like a great gift to him, but the reality of his best friend being so far away was weighing on him.

This was new territory for her, wanting to take someone's pain away. She couldn't let him know about Sasuke's "death"; she didn't want to lie to him. Sure, Konoha thought he was dead, but she knew he wasn't. "He's okay ya know. He goes on missions just like you do. We have teammates just like you do."

He gave her a weak smile. "Our Hokage would die for us. Orochimaru would have all of you sacrifice yourselves for him. In hands like those who could be okay?" Tayuya was speechless, suddenly the fun idiotic blonde was wise and somber. "But you would sacrifice yourself for your Hokage wouldn't you?" She reasoned. He looked at her with pitying eyes. She didn't understand. How sad. "Of course I would, but I'd sacrifice for her _because_ she'd sacrifice for me. I'd happily die for my village, but not for someone else's selfish cause. For a village like that I'd rather not be a ninja." And that was that, her life put into perspective in a few simple sentences. Is that what he thought of them? Of her?

"I had no one, and no where to go. I was weak and could barely survive. I certainly couldn't take care of myself." Her voice was low and sad. "Orochimaru took me in, gave me a home, trained me, gave me purpose." She laughed, a light wistful chuckle. "I was one of his elite ya know. He trusted me to guard him. Me, Tayuya, homeless street urchin, now considered strong enough and competent enough to guard someone like him." She shook her head smiling. "I don't love him. I do my duty by him, but I don't love him. I respect him, and I'm grateful for what he's done for me. Without him I most likely would have died way too young, alone in the streets. So… he has my life and my loyalty. I owe him that much."

Naruto just stared at her. He saw the logic of what she was saying, somewhat. He understood her sense of duty; it was much like Haku's, but Haku loved his master. She didn't. Was her loyalty that strong? "But he's bad." Naruto responded.

"To who Naruto? You? Konoha? Probably. But he's done good things too. You should see how strong your friend is." She smirked rather arrogantly. Were it anyone but Naruto, they'd have caught something in her eyes when she talked about Sasuke, but it was Naruto, and he didn't really pay attention to that.

"Would you tell me about him when I come back?" He asked, and she looked up at him rather surprised. He was leaving? She'd gotten used to his presence, and suddenly the thought of not having him around made her panic. If he could create such a bond in only a few hours he was dangerous indeed. "You're a dangerous guy Uzamaki." She breathed out, rather awed at the change he'd invoked in her in such a short span of time. "When will you come back?" She tried not to sound hopeful, which should have been an easy thing with her training, but somehow she got the feeling she failed.

"I have a friend, one who loves Sasuke just as much as I do. I want her to hear about him too." Oooh. Noble, honest, trustworthy, caring… Where was this guy from? "Sure Uzamaki, you can bring her." 'Her? Loves Sasuke as much as him?' She didn't like the sound of _that_!

"I won't be long." He waved, taking off. Tayuya groaned as a strange looking boy in a green jumpsuit flipped into the room, struck an odd pose, and introduced himself as Konoha's beautiful something beast, or something like that. He shot her a wink and a smile, gave her a thumbs up and smiled friendly as he promised to kick her ass should she try anything. So this was Naruto's replacement. She hadn't thought they could get any weirder. She'd been wrong. 'What in the hell kind of place is this Konoha? Didn't they have any frightening ninja?' Kakashi popped into her mind. She shut up.

Gaara sat in his borrowed Konoha room, staring out the window at the gray atmosphere. Not that he could make out details of the outside world anyway. It was near impossible to see through the heavy fog that had settled over the Leaf Village.

There'd been nothing but fog the entire morning, not that that was an odd thing, but something about it felt… wrong. He'd watched the fog roll in, and he'd probably stare out the window as it left. He'd been extremely restless the past two days, ever since he'd come back into Konoha. The feeling that something was wrong had been pounding at him from the inside out, and this fog only strengthened that feeling.

He didn't claim to possess the stellar insight of the Byakuugan or the Sharingan, but he knew beyond a doubt something was not quite right. And he couldn't shake the feeling that it had something to do with Uchiha Sasuke.

He agreed with everyone's assessment that the Uchiha couldn't have survived the poison attack. He'd gone over scenario after scenario of ways in which the dark haired male may have survived, but none seemed plausible. His brother's poison was incredibly potent, and Sasuke was so far from civilization when he'd been exposed. Hell, the closest place was Konoha, and only the hokage would have enough power to heal him, and most likely even she would not have been able to save him. 'Then where is his body?'

It bothered the redhead immensely that no body had been found. It wasn't in his possession, and by the relentless way Kakashi searched day and night he knew it wasn't in Konoha's either. His relentless staring out the window happened shortly after he learned a spy from the village of Sound had been captured. They were looking for Sasuke too. 'So who has the body?'

There was something he was missing. Something that was sitting right in front of him, only he was too blind to see it. Something that was within his reach if only he'd reach out and grab it. He stared out the window, wracking his mind, desperately trying to pull the puzzle pieces together, and he knew that time was important here. If he were to figure this out it needed to be soon.

Convergence Part II: 04/03/06

**A/N : **Had to move up my Tayuya part, and move back my Sasuke part. Look for Sasu/Saku stuff in part II.


	13. Convergence Part II

**Disclaimer**: Being the property and creation of Kishimoto Masashi, the manga, anime, and name Naruto are not mine. I own none of the characters or their names mentioned in this story. All credit goes to Masashi, because without him this story would not exist.

**Serious Warning:**If you haven't paid attention before, do so now please. As a courtesy, I'm reminding readers that this story is rated M. This chapter may contain sexual situations, blood and violence, swearing… If you are not of age and/or this is offensive to you do not read. 

**To Readers**: You've all been so patient. I can't stress that enough. Some of you have even emailed me encouragement. I thank you all!

**Special thanks**: Thanks to all reviewers! I _really_ appreciate your comments!

**Attention**: Beta read by fellow fanfiction author **Raina 1** (Author of fanfiction **"Hana Ni Arashi"** one of my faves!). She's been with me as a reader since chapter one of this fic. Thanks to her consenting to beta this story this chapter is now done. Were it not for her this probably still wouldn't be posted. Thanks to her!

Chapter 12: Convergence Part II

_"Believe me, every heart has its secret sorrow which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad."_-**Henry Wadsworth Longfellow**

Why no one had thought to bring Shikamaru into the investigation sooner was beyond Temari. She'd spent enough time with him - fought him too - to know just how genius he could be at deciphering puzzles and coming up with strategies. If he couldn't solve this riddle, then he'd at least tell _them_ how to solve it.

She glanced over at Neji. He was leaning casually against the wall just beside the door frame. Kakashi had shown enough judgment to bring the Hyuuga in while he questioned the captured Sound nin. The Byakugan was invaluable in telling lie from truth, and if not exactly that then it could at least pick up when/if something was being hidden. As it turned out the female nin was definitely hiding something, or so he said.

Kakashi mirrored Neji's stance on the other side of the door. Both looking like two pillared guards, if bored pillared guards. She knew they weren't really uninterested, and they certainly weren't as relaxed as they appeared. It was just their way. Undoubtedly they were hearing every word of the conversation - unlike herself - and they were ready to pounce should anything out of the ordinary happen.

Shikamaru was sitting at the large round table, his head lazily propped up with resting elbows. How he was supposed to look commanding with a stance like that she had no idea. He looked bored. Not the kind of cool I'm-above-this-shit bored like Neji and Kakashi were capable of achieving, but bored like if-I-wasn't-being-forced-I-wouldn't-be-here bored. Not that Shikamaru cared how he was perceived. That would require too much effort.

Temari mentally scoffed. To think he was the only one passed as Chunnin. She glanced to her brothers, wondering if they were listening as "intently" as she was. 

Kankuro was on the other side of the table, his chair pushed back and askew. He was sprawled out as one might lounge while watching a moving. One arm was slung over the back of the chair, his puppet haphazardly leaning against the wall nearest him. His legs were stretched all the way out in front of him. It looked as though he were trying to take up as much of the room as possible. He looked cocky, rude, and ill-mannered. 'But then… Kankuro is cocky rude and ill-mannered.' Temari noted.

Gaara stood near Kankuro, stoic and unmoving. His arms were crossed, his posture straight as a board, but still managing to not look stiff. He looked fake, like a doll or something, staring straight at Shikamaru, no expression in his eyes or on his face. Okay, it was impossible to tell if her brothers were paying attention.

All the men in the room looked to be making silent statements of this is my corner and that's yours; attempting to exude both cool boredom and pent up hostility. All except Shikamaru, which made Temari smile. But in the end she concluded that _all_ the men in the room were annoying, so she concentrated on other things, more interesting things… like the walls.

The room was small, dominated by the large table that stood in the middle. The walls were industriously blank and plain white. Not a clean stark white either, but a sort of bland jaundiced white. The room was unassuming, very blasé, and depressing as hell. The dark almost black finish wood table certainly didn't help the atmosphere get any cheerier. Pictures on the wall might have helped, Temari mused.

She heard Shikamaru mumble a question for what seemed to her the sixth time or more. "For goodness sake Nara," she sounded irritated, "we've told you a thousand times already. We poisoned him." She huffed. 'Damn.' Her mind had been wondering and still his incessant questioning irritated her. She could only imagine how her brothers were handling everything. Their patience tended to make hers look infinite.

Shikamaru grimaced, unhappy with Temari's words and tone. He probably had asked the same question too many times, but it wasn't because he was deaf or not understanding. He'd heard their stories and knew the answers to their questions. He just needed to hear it over and over again until his mind agreed to register that Uchiha Sasuke was dead.

Even so Shikamaru _tsked_. He'd been pulled from bed, rushed out the door, and then received shocking news all in less than thirty minutes. If anyone should be irritated, it should be _him_. "But you're _sure_ he's dead?" He asked. This was probably the fourth time he'd asked this one. As long as no one was coming up with anything more forthright, repeating the question seemed justified. 

A collective sigh filled the room, even Neji couldn't resist. Kakashi was respectfully quiet. He understood better than anyone what Shikamaru was going through.

The strategist let a moment of silence pass before he spoke again. "If we don't have the body, and no one saw him dead, how can you confidently say he's dead?" Shikamaru defended himself, wishing Chouji was there to do the annoying deed for him. It was so troublesome explaining himself. He'd tried to just leave three times already, but Kakashi stopped him every time, so here he was explaining himself… again.

'Ignore it. Ignore it.' Temari silently chanted, searching the room for something other than Shikamaru and the gang to occupy her mind. They weren't exactly discussing new information or anything. Besides she had been there in person for the entire ordeal. She _knew_ what happened. She visibly shivered at the memory, drawing the Hyuuga's gaze. She shrugged; he blinked and went back to looking bored. 

Temari decided to focus on the room again. Silently finding the shortcomings of the room's décor had proven somewhat distracting before. Perhaps it would again. She wondered at the walls again. They weren't dirty, she knew that, but they looked it. Of course the five incandescent bulbs that lit the room probably had something to do with the anything but cheerful yellow that cast its glow on everything in the room. It wasn't even a cheerful yellow. It was sick. Were it a human or animal she'd take it to the doctor. 

"What!" She shot out, more incredulously than she'd intended. She didn't know how long she'd zoned out, but Shikamaru's words pulled her back like an ice cold shower. She hadn't expected something like that to come from his mouth.

"He's not dead," he repeated, giving her his best I'm-tired-and-this-is-troublesome look.

"I heard you," she said, annoyed, "but how the hell did you come up with that?" And to think she'd been the one silently praising him for his strategic planning and puzzle solving skills. "The Hokage herself thinks he's dead." She sounded as if he were a bit slow at understanding the situation. That all the information they told him must have flown straight out of his head. If you couldn't take the Hokage's word, whose could you?

Once again Shikamaru sighed, looking every bit as annoyed as he felt. Leave it to the only woman in the room to be so troublesome and argumentative. And he thought he'd be getting a break without Ino here. "She said _most likely_ and _probably_. That means there _was_ a chance of survival, even if it was a slim one." His lazy, and Temari thought condescending, tone told her _exactly_ how much he appreciated her intervening.

Temari narrowed her eyes at him. He was going to pay for his brashness later when they were alone. "Then _where_ is he?" she asked pointedly.

"Find Sakura... and you'll find Sasuke." He knew it was possible to find Sakura, and most likely Sasuke, through Naruto, but either way Sakura was the one that cured the Uchiha. She was the only one capable, and he suspected, the only person in Konoha Sasuke would go to of his own free will without a second thought.

"Sakura doesn't know about the order though does she?" Neji asked. He was thinking like everyone else. If Sasuke was back, why didn't Sakura or Naruto say anything? If not Sakura, he knew Naruto would be screaming the announcement everywhere.

"Sasuke told her." Shikamaru answered. He noticed Kakashi stiffen at his answer. The jounin had relaxed as soon as he'd tensed. It was a small movement, but for the ever cool and calm Hatake Kakashi, it was a lot. Shikamaru understood. If it were Chouji instead of Sasuke, he'd never forgive Asuma for no! t saying anything to him.

"That leaves the Sound nin." Gaara said, speaking up for the first time. "What is the Sound doing here?"

"Looking for Sasuke." Shikamaru answered almost carelessly. "Maybe they know he's not dead."

Struck, Temari sucked in her breath. "You don't think Sakura or Naruto would have alerted the Sound do you?"

At first everyone looked at her like she was crazy for thinking such a thing. Neji almost laughed. After a moment's thought everyone sobered as the implication sank in. Perhaps Naruto and Sakura had felt betrayed enough by Konoha to go to Orochimaru.

Kakashi finally spoke. "Naruto would never do that. He'd be here yelling at me, yelling at Tsunade. He'd be irate, he'd be destructive, but he wouldn't go to Orochimaru." Neji and Shikamaru nodded, reassured at his words. Of course Kakashi was right. It had been foolish to think Naruto would do something like that. So that left another question: _Did_ Naruto know? 

Kakashi sighed. "We have to talk to Sakura." He wasn't sure what she was capable of. Of his three students she was the one he knew, regrettably, the least. He could predict Sasuke. He could predict Naruto, however his female student remained a mystery to him. Sometimes he could forecast her reactions, sometimes it was a coin toss. Who knew how she'd react to the news that Sasuke had been ordered hunted down without her knowing? Involuntarily he shivered. Whatever her reaction he was certain it wasn't going to be pleasant. 

_"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."_-**Bertrand Russell **

Sasuke woke. The room was still dark; the dawn had not yet come. Sakura was cuddled against him, unconsciously holding his arm to her chest like some sort of teddy bear, sound asleep. The atmosphere was extremely quiet; the rhythmic ticking of a clock the only sound in a room bathed in silence. It was so thick it seemed an entity all its own. It was all so warm and peaceful, like a grandmother that always hugged you and baked cookies. Sasuke scowled, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. This place felt so foreign and surreal, like he woke up in someone's idea of a happily ever after fairytale. It was both unwelcome and reassuring at the same time.

Very carefully, Sasuke detangled his arm from her grasp and left the bed, making his way around the starlit room studying various objects as he went. A few ribbons hung from a vanity mirror, brushes and other beauty products spread out on the desk below. Some articles of clothing were tossed haphazardly over an old abused looking rocking chair. A triplet of pictures was asymmetrically arranged on one side of the long dresser, a tattered purple velvet book on the other. Typical female clutter, nothing unusual or out of place -- he found an odd comfort in that.

Sasuke fingered the book, brown in spots where the velvet had worn down; it was well used. He sighed, sighting the team seven picture that was so unfortunately burned into his mind. It was to the front of a picture with Ino and Sakura, and one with Naruto, the Hokage, and Jiraiya - all scowling at each other.

Sasuke studied the photo, silently marveling over how young he looked. It seemed so long ago. In years it wasn't, yet measured in personal changes and deeds done, it was a lifetime ago. He _'hmphed'_. It certainly _was_ a lifetime ago. He barely knew the pouty-faced Uchiha in the picture. He looked so innocent and unworldly, like his only care in the world was the bubbly pink-haired girl, the idiot blonde, and the eccentric silver haired teacher. Of course at the time those _had_ been his only worries - his brother not much more than a bad memory he refused to recall. 'I was stupid then.' He scowled turning away from the picture, looking to the one with Naruto and the two sannin.

'When was this taken?' he silently wondered, taking note of Naruto's slightly taller, more broad shouldered appearance. Was this what he looked like now? He silently wondered. 'Not much changed, but some. Probably still an idiot.'

"That one was taken a few months ago." 

Sasuke turned.

A delicate long finger pointed from behind him to the picture he'd just been studying. "Those three are always bickering with each other," Sakura offered with a small giggle, as if she could hear them now. She leaned forward, pressing herself against him in an armless hug. It wasn't a sexual gesture, as it could have been, but one of comfort.

The moment her body met his the atmosphere of the room seemed to sigh and relax. 'Everything was as it should be.' His presence filled her room, as if a large space had remained empty waiting just for him to fill it. He felt so sturdy and warm beneath her. Sakura closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of him. All the loneliness she'd felt was melting away beneath the sound of his breathing, the swell and ebb of his back and chest. "I missed you," she whispered, pressing her forehead to his back, sliding an arm around his waist. 

Inundated, he closed his eyes, frightened at how natural all of this felt. It felt so right that it screamed wrongness, because he wasn't ready for this. He knew he wasn't ready for this. Part of him wanted to allow her to hold him, even wanted to reciprocate the innocent affection, but the other part wanted to lash out at her, punish her for _daring_ to weasel her way so thoroughly into him.

"I thought you would die," she whispered, interrupting his thoughts, almost talking to herself. She flattened her palm against his stomach, pulling him to her more. "You did… twice." She took a deep breath, inhaling his scent, losing herself in his presence. She'd almost lost him for good this time and she felt the near-miss keenly, aware of death's proximity. Her fingers had a mind of their own, lightly ghosting down his back. She couldn't stop touching him. It was like she was memorizing him. His scent, his warmth, the feel of him… She wanted to absorb him into herself and never let him go.

Sasuke could feel her breath through the cloth of his shirt, long deep breaths alternately warming and cooling his skin. For a moment he'd almost surrendered to her. For a moment he'd felt… _safe_, and that was when he felt really uncomfortable. _Safe_ was a feeling he didn't trust. It was an illusion. _Safe_ didn't exist. It was only a temporary hiding place while the dark things searched for you - and the dark things _always_ found you.

Images of his mother and father murdered flashed through his mind, unbidden and horrific. His aunts, uncles… everyone, cut open, bloodied, lifeless eyes staring at him. Accusing him… He was running through the streets, Itachi following him… slowly, toying with him, letting him know every step of the way that should he decide to kill him there would be no escape. He'd been utterly and truly helpless. He'd been completely at Itachi's mercy and his older brother had made sure Sasuke understood that, herding him through the streets like a pack of wolves to its prey. Sasuke had definitely understood. He'd felt his helplessness and mortality keenly.

The atmosphere of Sakura's room wrapped around him like a protective cocoon, isolating him from the outside world. Sakura was holding him as if he were the dearest thing to her -- no, he was the dearest thing to her -- he knew that now. It all echoed of the past… of home. Sasuke was suddenly that boy again. The silence of the room was roaring in his ears, the tick of the clock like approaching footsteps, a mocking malice. He wanted to check every shadowed corner of the room, secure every door and window, investigate every small noise, _'crush that fucking clock that won't shut up'_.

His older brother was in every corner of everything Sasuke was, had, or thought… because Itachi was proof that everything could be taken away. And he was still out there.

He remembered how Sakura had looked after Kisame had attacked her, bloodied, bruised, lifeless… Suddenly it wasn't just his parents lying in a pool of their own blood. Sakura was too, her throat slit, eyes wide and lifeless, mouth open in a soundless scream.

Sasuke was breathing heavy now, almost panting. He felt _trapped_. It felt like the walls were closing in on him. The air was thick and warm, _stifling_. He sucked in a deep breath, as if he were suffocating. He felt the strongest urge to run to the window, whip it open, and breathe in the fresh outside air. His hands were shaking. His knees felt weak.

Last night he'd thought he could give himself to Sakura, but now that it came to it he couldn't do it. He couldn't pretend everything was okay, because it _wasn't_ okay. "I don't want this," he whispered shakily, almost frantically. He pushed away from Sakura, ripping himself from her embrace. He needed to get the fuck out of there… now!

He'd had all of this before. Safety, comfort, love… He'd had it and it had been ripped away from him. He didn't want to go through that twice.

'Sasuke-chan. Wait a minute.' His mother's sweet voice echoed through his mind. He could see her smile, feel her touch as she soothed his burns.

'As expected of my son.' He'd waited so long to hear those words from his father. That was the first and last time he did…

Itachi poking him in the forehead. 'Forgive me Sasuke…'

No. He covered his ears, and squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would shut out their faces, their voices… It didn't. "I don't want this," he repeated louder, moving toward the door.

A firm grasp on his arm pulled him back. "Sasuke!" Sakura called out desperately. Her voice was loud; like it was the tenth time she'd called for him. Maybe it was. She had a white-knuckled grip on his arm. She'd had to be forceful to stop him.

"I have to go." He pulled his arm from her grip.

'What the hell happened?' Sakura silently questioned. She'd saved his life and he'd left her. Now he was back. He came back to her, but why? Why did he come back only to leave her again? She was so confused, and sad, and upset, and frustrated…

"Please..." Sakura asked, her voice a confused plea… She just wanted some sort of explanation, something other than just goodbye. Sasuke near crumpled at the sound of her voice. Those hooks she imbedded deep into his soul twisted and pulled at him, trying to drag him back to her, punishing him with sharp pains when he didn't obey.

He stopped at the entrance to her bedroom, hand poised on the door frame, ready to pull himself out of the room and away from her, by force if necessary. "I don't want this," he repeated again, almost pleading.

"I…" Her words died. What could she say that he hadn't said already? She didn't even know what the hell was going on. He'd held her during the night. She'd woken to find him snug beside her, holding her… It had been wonderful but it was so _different_ from what she knew of him. Someone had nearly killed him. Who? What had happened there? She had so many questions and if he would just stay with her, talk to her, they wouldn't even matter.

Sasuke grasped the trim of the door, his grip involuntarily tightening, white-knuckled. He heard it in her voice; she was expecting him to hurt her. She sounded so resigned. Yes. Part of Sasuke wanted to hurt her. She was expecting it right? What damage could meeting her expectations do?

He shook his head. He couldn't hurt her anymore. Did he want to? Maybe. But the way his gut twisted and wrenched he didn't think he could do it. Things were different between them now. She'd seen to that. "Please Sakura… Let me go." It was all he could say to her. "If you were ever really my friend, you'd let me go." 

Sakura's mouth fell. She'd prepared herself for him slapping her away, ignoring her, yelling at her… but not this. His voice was so thick with emotion. He sounded so hurt and she didn't know why. What the hell happened to him? What was going on?

"Why did you come back? Why did you come if you were only going to leave again?"

He gave up his grasp on the door to rake his hands roughly through his hair. "I don't know what to say to you Sakura." What the fuck did she want from him? He told her 'no' time and again. He hadn't minced words with her… ever. He was always quite clear with her about wanting to be left alone.

Sakura went with what was in her mind and in her heart -- she could offer him nothing else. "Say you'll stay with me. Tell me you want to be with me. Tell me something besides goodbye damn it!" She'd started out whispering but ended up screaming. She stood inches from him, facing his back. It seemed she was always facing his back. 

Sakura's hands were clenched in fists; she didn't remember doing that. 'Damn it!' She didn't want to be angry with him. She slumped, sighing. "I love you." She closed her eyes, regretting it almost as soon as the words left her mouth. Not because she didn't mean them but because she didn't think he was ready to hear them.

"I don't know what you want from me!" he growled, wishing for once she'd just do as he asked her. "I can't give you what you want! Why don't you get that?" He wanted her to leave him alone. His hands curled into fists so tightly every knuckle cracked. "Why can't you just be happy with Naruto?" He was so angry with her. It was almost as if her words flipped a switch inside him.

Sakura gasped as if he'd hit her. She didn't know why what he said hurt so much. She remembered his words to her. 'I tried to be like you guys…' He had tried to forget about revenge, but in the end his heart decided on revenge. Yes, she understood it, she truly did. But now... now... and still...

"Why can't you forget about your revenge?" She watched him stiffen as he realized what she was saying. 'She'd already tried.'

"Hn." He replied. "Then you're as cursed as I am."

"Stop it." She wanted to shake him. Shake him until he snapped out this… whatever the hell it was. Why couldn't he see what he had? Why could he only live in the past? "Everyone envied you. You were always perfect at everything. The sole reason Naruto works his ass off is to _be like you_, to _surpass_ you. You had the world by the ass and you let go. For what? Orochimaru? Itachi?" 

Bemused, he barked out a bitter laugh. "I always got A's. The teachers were always calling me gifted. The other students thought I was perfect." He was quiet a moment. "I was a disappointment in my family… a bitter disappointment. I was a pitiful Uchiha." He laughed again at the irony, but his voice sounded anything but amused… wistful, angry, sad… but not amused. "You should have seen my father look at me when I'd practice. I'd see the hope in his eyes as he readied himself to watch his son execute everything perfectly… and I saw the disappointment when I was anything less. And I was always less Sakura… always." His voice was so quiet.

"Every day I practiced from morning until night, trying to make him proud of me, but it didn't matter. I could work till I was half dead - and I did - but if I was less than his expectations I was nothing. Not even fit to wear the family crest on my shirt, or so he'd told me. Everyday I was silenced or ignored whenever Itachi showed his presence. I was practically invisible. The only one that really saw me was him." The way he spat him, left Sakura no doubt who she was talking about.

"As wonderful as you all thought I was, in my family I was nothing." Sasuke laughed again, cold, harsh. He'd been so stupid to think he could forget for a while, be "normal" for even a day. "I don't know how to be in your world, like you… Don't you see? I can't!"

"So it's death or a murderer? Is that all there is to you now?" Sakura asked, incredulous.

"I think so." He sounded far away, and though he'd answered her question it sounded like it was something he was admitting to himself. He turned soft eyes on her. "I'm grateful Sakura, but I've been past the point of return for a long time now. Honestly I think I was past that point the moment I saw Itachi kill my parents." A sad smile crossed his face. "You tried so hard. You were so loyal to me. I'll always be grateful for that Sakura." He stepped close to her, lightly running fingertips down her cheek.

'I still am loyal to you.' "Sasuke…" She stepped closer to him, her eyes searching his face. He looked so hurt. His face so rarely showed emotion it made witnessing his pain that much worse. 'If he'd just _let go_...'

His hand lingered on her cheek. "It doesn't have to be like this," she whispered, leaning into his touch. Sasuke shook his head.

"I'll _never_ stop hunting you," she hissed. "Do you hear me? _Never_."

Sasuke was mesmerized by her eyes. They were so intense, like green fire. They glistened with such fierce determination. 'She'll never give up. She never had.' He thought, strangely happy at that. He'd wanted to leave, wished her to leave him alone, but she refused and he loved that. He held her face in his hands, memorizing her look. She'd never be more beautiful than she was in that moment. He wanted to memorize that face, take it with him and keep it with him for always.

She tilted her face to his, palms flat against his chest. "I'll always love you, even when you push me away."

Her mind replayed the times he jumped in front of her to protect her from the two assassins that had been after Tazuna. All the times he'd yelled to her during battle, worried she might get hurt. The time he'd said she was the best among team seven at spotting illusions. The time he'd hovered over her passed out form, checking to see if she was okay… The list went on and on.

He should be mad. He should smack her away. He should… "Sakura…" He breathed out. He kept trying to get away from her and she kept pulling him back. So Sasuke pulled her to him, holding her tight against him. He'd miss her so much. He really did want her, so much. Sasuke burrowed his face into her hair, taking deep calming breaths. He loved the smell of her hair and skin. He wanted to fall into her.

"Sasuke…" She slid her arms around him, letting her hands caress every inch of him they touched. This might be the last time she held him; she wanted to remember it. It would be all of him she would have left.

"Sometimes when Naruto would hold me I'd close my eyes and pretend it was you." She buried her face in his chest, clutched his shirt in her hands. Somehow no matter how close she held him it wasn't enough. No matter how much she caressed him she wanted more. If this was the last… 

Sasuke stiffened at the mention of her and Naruto, remembering the time he'd caught them so intimately kissing. He'd been so angry. She'd lain so cozy with him, spoke such affectionate words to him, touched him, and then he found her with that idiot blonde. His teeth grit with the memory.

Selfishly, he wanted to make sure he haunted Sakura's thoughts. He could scream at her all day long about her being happy with someone else, with Naruto, but deep down he didn't want her to be happy with anyone except him. _He_ wanted to haunt her thoughts. Of everything he'd lost in his life the one thing that was, and had always been, his was Sakura. Naruto would _not_ take that from him. Gripping Sakura's chin he raised her face to his.

She gasped at the look in Sasuke's eyes, both loving and fearing it. He looked about to murder, but at the same time the intensity of his gaze drew her in and made her tingly all over. "Sasuke?" She asked breathlessly, and he kissed her. 

The instant his lips touched hers, fire blossomed behind her closed lids. Oranges, yellows, and reds flashed, and she melted into him. His kiss was confident and sure, caressing her mouth with just the right amount of command and softness - or so Sakura thought. She'd assumed that all kisses, in principle, must feel the same. She was wrong.

She grasped the back of his head, pulling his mouth forcefully to hers. Her tongue sought his, wanting to devour him. She'd always wondered what it would be like to kiss him, and the exquisite taste of him now made her wonder how she ever lived without it.

The kiss was too much, and Sakura wanted more. She pulled at his shirt, desperately seeking the warmth of his flesh. Her hand slipped up the back of his shirt, and she sighed against his lips finally finding what she sought and liking the feel of it. Judging from his gasp he did too.

Sakura went from docile to wild in seconds. Her hands and mouth were frantic. She clawed at him, bit at his mouth. He heard his forehead protector clang on the floor as she pulled it off, sinking the fingers of one hand into his hair as the other tried to remove his shirt. Sasuke backed away a moment to help her and pulled it over his head. She gawked at the sinewy movement of his muscles as he pulled his shirt off.

Sasuke felt both proud and a little self-conscious at the way her eyes soaked in his form. Her thoughts were laid bare in the glistening green of her eyes. She obviously liked the way he looked.

Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed her again - this time long and lingering. His lips moved sensually against hers, his tongue caressing hers slower; delving deeper. It was far more erotic than before.

Sakura pressed against him, and without his shirt he could feel the nuances of her curves clearly. He'd forgotten how small and form-fitting her sleep clothes were. Right now she was definitely reminding him, and he knew with certainty that they were crafted of thin material.

He groaned into her mouth, wordlessly letting her know how much he appreciated her body. The many times he'd been with Tayuya, the woman had never once ignited a fire in him like Sakura was doing now. He'd intended only to kiss her - preferably until she melted into the floor from the intensity of it - however he couldn't seem to stop touching her. "Sakura…" He panted.

His hands roved the length of her back and further down then turned to ghost up the front of her. She gave a short feminine giggle against his mouth as his fingers tickled her abdomen. He smirked, leaning his forehead against hers. His hands rested flat against her stomach, now still in their once upward movement.

"Don't stop." She whispered shyly, and with a slight blush.

"Sakura…" Did she understand what she was asking?

"Please." She said, but her eyes were what really got him. They were full of wonder, excitement, and _need_. So much need.

He cradled her head and laid a soft kiss on her neck. She gasped.

Encouraged, Sasuke gave the area more attention. He loved eliciting reactions from her. He wanted everything to feel good to her, wanted to show her just how wonderful kisses could feel, and distantly, he wanted to wipe Naruto from her mind.

Sakura tilted her head in silent plea for him not to stop. He didn't, giving her neck more than one token of this encounter. He didn't care who saw it afterward either. 

"Sasuke…" She timidly mumbled, pulling away from him yet holding his hand, and pulling him toward the bed. She lay herself on the mattress waiting for him to follow, but he pulled her back up. She gave him a questioning look, then quickly averted her eyes turning a bright shade of red as his hands gripped the hem of her shirt. She was nervous as hell, but she wanted this. With every fiber of her being she _wanted_ this.

Slowly, gently, Sasuke pealed the form-fitting tank from her, letting his fingers wisp against her skin as he undressed her. Reflexively Sakura moved to cover herself but stopped, resisting the urge to shield herself from his view. She still couldn't look him in the eyes. It was far too embarrassing.

She felt his gaze upon her, taking in the sight of her. Did he think her adequate? She wondered.

Pulling her to him he held her against his body. Sakura gasped at the feel of his bare chest against hers. It was strange. She'd never felt anything like it before, but it was also wonderful. He was so warm, hard and tightly muscled. She was quite a bit softer. The contrast of the two touching felt nice.

"Beautiful," Sasuke whispered against her ear, knowing she needed to hear it, but also meaning it. She was beautiful.

He lifted her with him as he moved to lie on the bed. They fell, legs entwined, and for a moment Sakura just studied his face. Pale skin framed by impossibly dark hair. Tentatively she fingered a few strands. It was softer than she imagined, and felt cool and smooth against her skin. Raising herself up she tried a kiss of her own. "I love the way you kiss me". She breathed out against the shell of his ear. She took his lobe into her mouth, sucking; then nipped along the line of his jaw. Open-mouthed, hungry to taste more of him, she made love to the crook of his neck, his collarbone… Before long she was lost in the feel of him, the taste of him, his scent… As if of their own accord her hands slithered down his body, cupping his ass, giving them a rough squeeze. "Tight." She growled.

"Sakura." He whispered, turning to putty with her touches; barely able to hold himself up against her assault. Instinctively he positioned himself between her legs, pushing against her. She was getting pretty aggressive, and he liked it.

Answering his thrust, she wrapped her legs around him, using her grip on his backside to push him against her. It felt so good. Pulses of pleasure shot up and down her body with his movements. If this was what sex with clothes was like what would the real thing be like? She wondered.

"Make love to me Sasuke." She hissed, barely believing that came from her. She sounded so fierce and wanton. She raised herself up, attacking his mouth with a brutal kiss. "Make love to me." She repeated desperately against his mouth, nipping his bottom lip. 

He pushed her down, roughly. She thrust her hips against him, excited at his dominant treatment of her. He moaned, nearly losing focus. Gripping her hips he pressed them into the bed. "Don't move." He chastised breathily. She was driving him crazy. 

Smiling wickedly Sakura slid her pelvis forward, slow, firm. "Nnnn." He groaned, melting above her. Slowly his eyes drifted closed at the wonderful sensations she was causing. Now thoroughly lost from whatever the hell he'd been trying to do he moved against her. She threw her head back in bliss. "This time don't stop." She ordered in a firm voice.

Holding himself up was too much. He rested his forehead on the bed beside her, panting, and languidly moving against her. She slid her hands beneath the waistband of his pants to cup his bare ass, feeling the bend and flex of his muscles as he moved above her. "Let's try it." Sakura breathed out, bringing Sasuke back to himself. "Wait." He answered. "You're not ready yet." He'd needed to go slow with her. The more he prepared her, the less painful it would be.

Sakura was about to protest, feeling more than ready to have him inside her. His hands gripping the waist of her shorts stopped her. "Sasuke?"

With predator-like eyes he kissed a path from her neck to her stomach; watching her the entire time. He looked like a panther about to devour his kill. Sakura was enraptured watching him. He pushed the waist of her pants down, lightly kissing and sucking each hipbone. Swirling his tongue and making her giggle; he resisted the urge to smile.

He worked his way back up her body to face her again. Staring her directly in the eyes, he once again fixed her with his predatory gaze, silently telling her to watch his face. How could she not? He placed his hand on her stomach, his palm stroking its way to her waistline and lower until he cupped her. He slowly stroked her, watching the look of wonder pass over her face as he ministered to her. She ran her hand down his face; he gave a soft near imperceptible smile.

"Tell me if it feels good." He whispered, moving his hand beneath her waistband.

Sakura gasped as a wonderful spark of something shot through her. For a moment she couldn't even see. Her eyes fluttered and she lost eye contact with Sasuke. Silently she wondered what h! ad just happened, but was too shy to ask so she just enjoyed the sensation of it. Whatever he was doing it certainly did feel nice, and he kept doing it.

"Is this okay Sakura?" She quickly nodded - not trusting her voice to speak, gripping the sheets in an effort not to make any embarrassing noises. An effort she wound up failing.

The more he attended to her, the more embarrassment fled in the face of the ecstasy he was giving her. She was becoming more and more curious of how their bodies might fit together, what it might feel like, what he looked like… "Tell me what you want Sakura, and I'll do it," he whispered against her collarbone as he kissed it. 

"Take off your pants." He froze in shock, but recovered quickly enough that she might not have noticed. But still… 

He sat back to do her bidding. She followed, gripping his waistband and vigorously pulling. Her eyes were half-lidded with desire. She could think of nothing but undressing him and having him inside her. Whatever he'd done to her, she wanted more, no longer concerned with how this looked or that sounded. She just _wanted_. And why the hell weren't his pants just falling off him?

Sasuke stood and pulled his pants off before she shredded them. They dropped to the floor, and Sakura's gaze instantly became one of wonder.

He was so beautiful. Everything about him was firm and lithe. She didn't think it was possible for anyone to be that perfect and still be real, and yet here he was, flesh and blood. 'Most definitely flesh and blood,' she thought.

Sasuke tried to ignore her studying gawk - good God, he was probably blushing! What the hell was she thinking? Tayuya never made him feel like this, but then he didn't really care what she thought. It was obvious to him that he sure as hell cared what Sakura thought.

She held her arms out to him, eyes suddenly flashing excitedly. "You're so perfect." 

Sasuke came to her and lay down to hover above her. Her hands explored his flesh. He allowed her, holding himself up so she could better see and reach. It was an odd feeling to be appreciated so fully, but it was also good. She ran her fingers over every inch of his flesh, the curves and dips of his washboard abs, the firmness of his chest... She smiled at him. "Can we try it now?" Internally Sasuke sniggered at her choice of words. Outwardly he just nodded.

"This is probably going to hurt Sakura," he murmured, positioning himself for her. She nodded. She'd heard the stories. They varied from extremely painful to not hurting at all. She wondered which it would be for her.

He entered her slow, wanting the transition to be as comfortable and painless as possible. Luckily he'd known to prepare her well. He slid in easily enough, but she was so tight and he had to fight the urge to not absolutely fuck her through the mattress. Not yet anyway. When he reached resistance, he grabbed her hands, twining her fingers with his.

"Here goes Sakura." He wished there was some way to bypass this part. 

He pushed, and she cried out, squeezing his hands. He stilled, giving her a moment. He knew the only way the pain would recede would be to give her pleasure, but still she needed a moment to adjust.

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, trying to chase the strange and painful feeling away, morph it into something more. More of what she'd always imagined. "Sakura… Look at me." Sasuke breathed out huskily, nuzzling her face. She opened her eyes. He gave her a small smile of encouragement. "Don't take your eyes from mine." He coaxed, moving inside her - slow small movements at first.

It hurt, but it was a bearable pain. She immersed herself in Sasuke's eyes, concentrating on him. She watched his lids fall half mast with pleasure, alternately squinting shut as he fought the pleasure. The fact that it was her body that was giving him such ecstasy amazed her. She loved watching him fight against how good she felt.

Soon Sakura felt no pain, or it wasn't dominating her experience. She even moved her hips a little, experimenting with what reactions she could get out of him. "Sakura." He hissed out; saying her name like it was both a blessing and a curse. She really loved that, positive she'd never feel more powerful than she did in that moment. Uchiha Sasuke was utterly and completely at her mercy -- and that was incredibly erotic.

When he realized she wasn't in pain anymore he lengthened his thrusts, hardened them a bit. Zings of pleasure shot through Sakura with every push. Nothing mind-blowing, except that it was Sasuke that was doing it. _That_ was mind-blowing.

It was pretty much guaranteed that without extra help Sakura wouldn't climax, but he knew a "trick" that would most likely bring her.

He moved inside her till he thought there was no possible way he could take any more - which he thought wasn't long enough - he loved being with her. Just before he reached his limit he leaned back, gripping her hips to keep her with him - not that she wasn't trying to follow him. She looked up at him wondering what he was doing. He answered with a shit-eating grin - a rare thing for Sasuke - and then stole her breath with a touch from his hand.

Crying out, Sakura threw her head back in absolute bliss. _This_… this was mind-blowing. Whatever pleasure she'd felt before paled in comparison to this. She was losing control of her own body, at the mercy of his movements inside her and the caresses of his hand. "Sasuke..." she begged, not having any clue what she was asking or chastising him for, but feeling the need to do it anyway. She kept repeating his name over and over, riding out the bliss he was giving her.

When the sensations were becoming too much for her that she'd beg him to stop - her cries of his name had diminished to unintelligible whimpers and moans - he finished. "Holy shit," he whispered, falling atop her, taking a moment to catch his breath. "Holy shit." He repeated again.

Sakura smiled. "Tell me about it." He snorted. She laughed.


End file.
